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Christian one-liners

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Jax, Feb 3, 2008.

  1. Christian one-liners

    An internet friend of mine sent these, apologies if you've seen them, but I enjoyed them!
    ~Life is short, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile. ~

    Don't let your worries get the
    > > Best of you; remember, Moses started
    > > Out as a basket case.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > Some people are kind, polite, and
    > > Sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.
    > >
    > > &n bsp; *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > Many folks want to serve God,
    > > But only as advisors.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > It is easier to preach ten sermons
    > > Than it is to live one.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > The good Lord didn't create anything
    > > Without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > When you get to your wit's end,
    > > You'll find God lives there.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > People are funny; they want the front
    > > Of the bus, the middle of the road, and
    > > The back of the church.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > Opportunity may knock once, but temptation
    > > Bangs on your front door forever.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > Quit griping about your church;
    > > If it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > If the church wants a better pastor,
    > > It only needs to pray for the one it has.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > God Himself does not propose to judge
    > > A man until he is dead. So why should you?
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > Some minds are like concrete-
    > > Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > Peace starts with a smile.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > I don't know why some people
    > > Change churches; what difference does
    > >
    > > It make which one you stay home from?
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > A lot of church members who are singing
    > >
    > > "Standing on the Promises"
    > >
    > > Are just sitting on the premises.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > W e were called to be witnesses,
    > >
    > > Not lawyers or judges.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > > Be ye fishers of men. You catch Them -
    > >
    > > He'll clean them.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > Coincidence is when God
    > >
    > > Chooses to remain anonymous.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > Don't put a question mark
    > >
    > > Where God put a period.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > Don't wait for 6 strong men
    > >
    > > To take you to church.
    > >
    > ; > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > Forbidden fruits create many jams.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > God doesn't call the qualified,
    > >
    > > He qualifies the called.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > God grades on the cross, not the curve.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > God loves everyone, but
    > >
    > > probably prefers
    > > "fruits of the spirit" over
    > >
    > > "religious nuts!"
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > God promises a safe landing,
    > >
    > > Not a calm passage.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > > He who angers you, controls you!
    > >
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > > Prayer:
    > >
    > > Don't give God instructions --
    > >
    > > just report for duty!
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > The task ahead of us is never as
    > > Great as the Power behind us.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > The Will of God never takes you to
    > > Where the Grace of God will not protect you.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > > We don't change the message,
    > >
    > > The message changes us.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > You can tell how big a person is
    > >
    > > By what it takes to discourage him.
    > >
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
    > >
    > > The best mathematical equation
    > >
    > > I have ever seen:
    > > 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.
    > > *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
     
  2. [​IMG]

    I always liked this!!!


     
  3. LOl LOL LOL Thanx Jax, You started my morning off right...:D

    Violet :ph34rwhere did you get that picture of me ? Red jammies and everything, except I dye my gray hair Sagria color...
     
  4. A lot of church members who are singing
    > >
    > > "Standing on the Promises"
    > >
    > > Are just sitting on the premises.

    :D:D:D:):):):cool::cool::cool:
     
  5. Jax - that was great!!!

    Had me cracking up and saying "Yeah!" over and over again. People probably thought I was crazy!:p
     
  6. Those are great!
     

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