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Christian advice on something im praying for atm!

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Michael Lowe, Sep 21, 2011.

  1. Hey Guys, I love your site!
    I am new Christian and was just hoping I could get some senior Christians perspectives on something I’m praying at the moment. As I said ive recently become a Christian (about 5 months ago), and I’m confident I’ve got a new heart, new desires and a serious attitude to discipleship (hallelujah!), I've been blessed with tremendous joy and passion for Christ!
    When I became a Christian I felt I had to sacrifice a few things, including a relationship with a non-Christian that I love and had been with for almost six years. Obviously just because it’s over doesn’t stop me from loving Her, wanting good Godly things for Her, and frankly being concerned for her eternal destination! She's actually currently working as a glamour model, I’m not sure if you use that term outside of the U.k ... but trust me don’t Google it! I’m conscious that that industries extremely deceptive and abusive to women like her, and I’m hoping God can help her out as he did me.
    I'm praying that the Holy Spirit might convict Her of Her sin, that she might turn away from it, and that Christ might reveal the Father to Her. Which altogether I regard as a good desire? I’m also praying that She might have good things from God: A church that loves Her, a Christian husband/Bf who'll take care of Her, etc. This is where it gets controversial because I’m really hoping (you probs saw this coming) that God might make me that Bf/husband again. I’m convinced I really love this woman, I just love Jesus more. But I do want to be there to watch Her grow and flourish in Her faith, and I want to build Her up and encourage Her, we had an unbelievably lovely bond when we were together. Several verses come to mind Psalm 37:4 about God fulfilling desires and Psalm 84:11 about God sparing no good thing from us.
    I’m aware however that I’m asking God for some good things, but also for someone who is at the moment a non believer, hence I’m worried about: Psalm 66:18 - "If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened". I presume its a sin to have feelings for a non-Christian, when God expressly forbids relations in His word? I really really do not want to let God down!
    Basically I’m hoping for your perspective on what I’m praying for and wondering if I should persist and/or change anything? I’m a grown lad and am genuinely open to a Paul-style rebuke, and being told I've got desires that aren’t at all worshipful!

    I'm super grateful for your time and thought all!
    God Bless,
  2. It's not a sin to have feelings for someone who isn't a Christian, it's what you do with those feelings that determines whether you sin or not. You've been with this woman for six years as a non-Christian yourself, so it is not strange that you should have feelings for her. It was right to remove yourself from a relationship that doesn't conform to God's pattern for relationships, but it is no sin to care for her well-being. I think it is also the right and good thing to respond to your feelings by praying for God to work in her life and bring her out of darkness into light.

    I don't know all the dynamics of your past and present relationship with her, but as a new Christian I think it is vital that you focus on growing strong in Christ and surround yourself with a fellowship of strong, supportive believers. Your attempts to "rescue" her at this point would be as likely to drown you as to pull her out of the riptide of destruction. You can trust God that He loves her too and will intervene in her life according to His wisdom and power. You can be sure that He will hear and respond to your prayers for her. At this stage, though, I would not encourage entertaining ideas about being her boyfriend/husband as it is likely to be a distraction from your following God. If you love God and love this woman, you can accept that His plan for her may not include you at all and rejoice in His wisdom. I think your reference to the verses in Psalms are very apt. God knows what will be a good thing for you and for her and He knows that much better than we and we have to trust Him on that. Leave the future to Him and focus on what you need to do now. I understand and am sympathetic with your desire to be there to watch her grow and flourish in her faith, and to encourage her, etc., but realize that it is quite possible that your presence in her life may be an impediment to God's work in her life.

    God knows the future, so we can be confident and at peace that what He does in the present will be for our best benefit.
    Michael Lowe likes this.
  3. the first thing the world will be watching is... are you for real... Has your life really changed? Do you have something they need?
    You should continue to pray for your friend everyday asking God to call her to know HIM, asking God to begin to soften her heart to hear His calling, and asking God to place people in her path to show her Truth.
    We should love the lost, yet don't drive them crazy with His word so be careful not to do this at it will sometimes cause them to run the other way....instead, Perhaps, you can let them know You are a changed person, tell them why and How you are changed... and then let them SEE your changed by the way you life your life..... then allow God to work in His timing.

    You should not marry or commit to anyone though who is lost, wait, and allow God to work. You should also ask God to close the doors on anything or anyone in your life though as you seek to follow HIS desired plans for you..... believe, have faith, God's ways are always right. always good...
    God Bless you!
    Michael Lowe likes this.
  4. Really grateful for both of your thought-out, biblical replies guys!
    I'll defo think/pray on your good insight,
    thanks + God bless!
  5. As you were with her for 6 years, you are probably the most likely person that God would use to win her over to Christ.

    You DONT just end the relationship, you explain to her that you are now saved and that an unGodly relationship and lifestyle convicts you and that out love for Jesus you REFUSE to live with this conviction.

    You take her with you to church and pray she gets saved too, you abstain from sex.

    A Christian must NOT marry a non-Christian....but you have to give her a chance to get saved.

    I have seen many marriages where the one gets saved and out of obedience to The Word they keep at it, staying with an unsaved person praying for them to get saved. The reality is, God removes the unsaved person from the saved person if the unsaved refuses to get saved, because the fire burning in you becomes too much for them to bear. If they choose to stay with your ''Godly regulations'' they are sanctified and not far from being saved. Of course this is ONLY if already married or with kids.

    Having been with your girlfriend for 6 years makes her more your wife then girlfriend!

    Once she is saved, she will be convicted to change career.

    There are other things to consider as well though, like how moral is she right now, how was her upbringing? has she cheated? Is she humble? Does she do charity work? My point here is just that there are good and bad people morally even withou the conviction of Jesus because of the conscience and if they are good by the conscience they will be more inclined to accept Jesus when The Holy Spirit reveals Him. If they are not their ''rescue'' may drain you far too much and you need to just pray for her and move on. The risk of her becoming a Christian just to stay with you is big and not one you want to bear if she is already showing inclinations of cheating / being very immoral / not being capable of the self sacrifice required to look after kids / not leaving her job for reasons other then to please you.

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