hi dana, there's no way you're gonna change your life! that's a Godthing. cast your questions about life upon Him He is good about orchestrating your circumstances and daily experiences so you'll disconnect from whatever is throwing up walls against the redemptive work of Christ. me, you, and everybody else on this site are dealing with some kind of resistance toward Jesus in our lives. God wants us whole!!! dana, we'll pray for you.....and please, will you pray for us?