Cant Help Lusting After Boyfriend.

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by FollowerOfChrist, Jan 13, 2013.

  1. I am dating a guy who I am very much attracted to. I cant help but feel this way about him and i feel like I am lusting after him, I've tried to stop and i cant. I feel like this is wrong, feel like I am crazy. But I guess at the same time it is healthy to have these feelings?! Sometimes even us kissing can get out of hand. HELP! and obviously he is a man with a sex drive. Should I stop dating him?
  2. It is healthy to have those feelings? Confirmation that you are straight?:confused: Who is your God? You, your boyfriend or Jesus? Jesus wants what is best for you. If He is on the throne / first in your life. Abstain until marriage. Flee from temptation! Don't sell your precious birthright for candy coated sin :(.
  3. Hey girl! :) Being attracted to someone is not wrong. You think he's cute, awesome! That's not a bad thing. However, there's a fine line between attraction and lust. Lusting, as the dictionary says, "1) intense or unrestrained sexual craving, or 2) an overwhelming desire of craving." I believe that attraction is fine, but lust isn't. In fact, the Bible talks much about lust.

    It is very easy to fall into the sin of lust when you're in a relationship. However, lust isn't love. I believe in your case, you really need to set boundaries. Asap. If you don't, you're bound to fall into temptation and act on it.

    The fact that kissing is getting out of hand concerns me. It seems that boundaries haven't been set yet in your relationship (and tell me if I'm wrong. If I am, I apologize). I don't see anything wrong with kissing. However, I know my weak points and I know that for me, kissing may lead to other things. Look at your weaknesses and base your boundaries on your weaknesses. Let's say kissing is a weak point for you and that's why it leads to other things. Set a boundary for kissing. I'm not saying stop, but if it's causing you to stumble, then maybe the best thing to do is stop or have a boundary. If the boundaries are not working, then I would suggest you to maybe stop kissing altogether or limit your kissing.

    You ask if you should break up. I can't give you that answer, only God can. I can, however, give you my opinions. If this person is constantly bringing you down and you guys keep falling into sin, then I really do believe that a break needs to be taken place. If he is not a Christian, then yes, you need to break up with him. Why date someone who doesn't share the same love for God that you have?

    Pray to God and see what he wants you to do with that. Does He want you to break up with him? Here are some questions that you can ask yourself concerning this relationship. If you answer a lot of "no" to these questions, then it's not a healthy relationship.
    1) Is he building you up in your walk with Christ?
    2) Does he still treat you with respect when you guys argue? (Does he insult you when he's angry? Has he made you cry because of how he speaks to you?)
    3) Does he listen to you when you speak and take interest in your life?
    4) Does he support you with the decisions that you make in your life?
    5) Does he ask you to do things you don't feel comfortable doing and he persists when you say no?
  4. Another thing to keep in mind here, and I see youve already hit on this, which is good, is the man. Lust and attraction are a thin line, problem is, when a woman lusts after a man, the man sees it, and it makes it that much harder for him not to lust (and im speaking honestly here, if its a thin line for a woman, its a REALLY thin line for a man) Perhaps, what you and your b/f should do, is set down some ground rules. like limiting physical contact, such as kissing, making sure you spend most if not all your time in a fairly public place (by public im not necessarily meaning having someone sit between you) but like say, in a restaurant, or mall or park, some place where your not 100% alone with each other.

    The one big thing, and this is something that every couple should do, regardless of whether theyre dating, engaged, or even married, regardless of what your struggling with, is have regular Bible study and prayer times. This is something that will strengthen your relationship in a good, healthy way, not only while dating, but on with your life-especially if it continues till marriage.
    spincorn likes this.
  5. We often let emotions and feelings rule us-that is the opposite of what God commands us to do.

    Marriage relationships in 4 easy steps: (Keep in mind any RELATIONSHIP takes WORK on BOTH parties end.)

    1: Make sure your heart is right with God.
    2: Make sure your Spouse's heart is right with God.
    3: Make sure your Union would be right with God.
    4: Get married and unleash the lust unto your Spouse...

    Good things come to those who wait...reap the blessings of patience in a Godly marriage. I have seen it, but never experienced it. Once you lose it, you never get it back.

    Godly unions don't have to be boring in the bedroom; that's for you and your spouse to work out. Just because you get married-doesn't mean you will live a Hollywood life, you will argue and disagree with your spouse...nature of humans.

  6. Abstain until marriage. Flee from temptation! Don't sell your precious birthright for candy coated sin
    Very correct!!
    xspinningisfun likes this.

  7. wonderful reply.i like your comment.God bless you

  8. you can't stop it on your own.You need the Holy Spirit to help you out.
    Also remember your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit,hence stop the kissing and give yourself time to pray and ponder over the relationship.Let the HOLY Spirit direct you.
    The Lord is your strength!
  9. You're the only one who can answer that question. Just keep in mind that your God is Jesus. He wants the best for you, he should be first in your life. Abstain until marriage! And if this person is constantly bringing you down and you guys keep falling into sin, then I really do believe that a break needs to be taken place. Just always pray. God bless!

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