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Can friends ask questions about sex-life of a married couple?

Discussion in 'Biblical Advices' started by fitska, Sep 27, 2006.

  1. Can friends ask questions about sex-life of a married couple?

    Can people ask questions about first time the married couple had sex knowing that it did happen before the wedding?
    Can people ask questions about sex-life of the married couple? I Need verses.
    I have a christian friend that asks question about my sex-life with hubby. She thinks that the person should be an open book. If people asks we should answer - that's her point. She thinks that if i don't want to answer it means I'm ashamed. There is nothing to be ashamed. I think that our bedroom - is a private place where only God can be. I know we did wrong having sex before marriage - We ask God to forgive us... Plus she pointed: "you guys, got married knowing each other for less than a year!:confused: "
    So what?! She says that people can't have secret. Even if they do it will be revealed one day.
    She is a 23 year old virgin, although in her teens she was having oral sex but she never had a boy-friend.
    Need verses as a proove for her. That there are boundaries of intimacy.
     
  2. Re: Can people ask questions about.........?

    I don't know how long this lady has been doing this but, if she keeps it up, she'll soon find herself bereft of friends.

    A good Scripture reference would be I Thessalonians 4:11 - "Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, TO MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders....."


    SLE
     
  3. I agree, she will lose all of peoples respect for her if she asks those kinds of things and talks that way.
    I also agree that these things are to be between you and the LORD, I will try to find scripture reference when I return home (1 week).
    AT-AT
    MAY DEATH LEAD TO LIFE FOR ALL!
     
  4. I agree that's very inappropriate
     
  5. This person is evidently obsessed with sex. I strongly suggest that you tell her that such things are not her concern and that you do not want any more questions on the subject. If she does not comply then cut off the relationship.
     
  6. This person is looking for justification to have sex outside of marriage or she wants to live her sex life through you and your husband. Either way when she brings it up again show her the door.
    If she wants to know about biblical sex and relationships then refer her to some one she don't know. You don't have to nor should you indulge or encourage her by sharing intimate details of your marriage.
    And stop having any discussion of sex with this person . If that is the basis of your freindship then she is neither a freind nor a christian freind. Freinds respect privacy and christians respect the sacredness of marriage..
    I do have scripture for you .

    Mat 7:6 Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.
    Don't even give this person information about your intimate sexual relationship! Like swine She will trample it and turn it against you.
     
  7. "turn the other cheek"


    My advice is that if you re uncomfortable talking about your sex life, then thats your perogative. And if you feel bugged by her, ignore her. But if anything just try to understand her curiosity rather than rebuking it.

    But try to understand that being open about your sex-life isn't a bad thing. Many people go to sexual-therapy, and being open and honest about their lives under the sheets is the only way the therapy can work. Are people degenerates if they go to sexual therapy and discuss their sex-lives outside the confidence of God? I dont think so. Perhaps your friend was only trying to help, and you should thank her for that, but politely decline on sharing personal info.
     
  8. Frylock,
    There are some things that people should not ask about, and don't deserve an answer.

    These include:
    1 Your sex life
    2 How much money you make
    3 How much your possessions cost
    4 Certain Family problems

    There are probably more but this is just a small sample. Our lives are only an open book to God, not to all of our friends. There are certain things that a wise person knows enough not to ask about.

    I would show that person the door. She could very well be the type that considers all "TRUTH" to be something that can be repeated to other people because it is the truth. I have know a few people like that and they do nothing but cause trouble while they spread the "TRUTH" Ditch her and move on if she persists.

    Steve
     
  9. What I was saying is this: those arent real things you should ask someone. true. But she shouldn't feel irritated or annoyed by it, but rather, just understanding.

    shes your friend. Don't show her the door. Cuz if you showed people the way out everytime they did something wrong, then, this might be a more hurtful world than it already is. Politely declining any personal information and then moving on is much better than judging the value of your friendship then cutting her loose.

    Some people dont talk about how much money they make, others do. If someone asks me how much I make I tell them the truth. Theres no reason for me to lie, or hide anything. Sure, others may have a reason to lie or hide their income, but I guess thats their deal. But I certainly do not boast or brag about how much I make either.

    Its okay to answer these questions, as it is okay to politely decline answering these kinds of questions. Bragging and boasting, however, is where one can cross the line.
     
  10. steve is correct. warn her and if she refuses to comply show her the door. She is no friend if she persists in this.
     
  11. well perhaps I'm the only one who believes forgiveness is the key to every situation.

    Friends do that sometimes. True Friends will ask personal questions because they care about you. True friends will raid your refrigerator without asking. True friends will let themselve in without knocking. I have lots of friends like this, and yes, their actions can seem rude, but I'm young just like they are, and I guess its just easier for young bachelors to not care about such invasiveness because I'd rather be interested in having a friend instead of having my 'rules' followed. If my best friend has to ask to grab a Dr Pepper, I roll my eyes. If hes thirsty and wants a drink, by all means he should just take it! Sure, its a little different from asking about my sex life, but hey, if he did ask about my sex-life, I'd tell him the truth; "I aint got one!" then I'd laugh. Of course I'm not married either.

    But seriusly, its an honest mistake. If you shoved people out of your life for striking out all the time, no one would have friends, just people that used to be a friend. And just because shes curious about your sex-life does not mean she is not your friend like these folks are trying to tell you. These folks would rather have you get rid of her for an honest mistake, but I say you just forgive her and move on, and ignore her invasiveness. Its not as if its any cost to yourself. If anything, getting rid of a friend costs more to you.

    I read someone else here posted something like "She wants to live her sex life through you". Not only is that a boldly unjustified statement, but its almost as if someone has been studying your friend for yaers and then psychoanalyzed her in five seconds flat on this forum. Unbelievable what some people think sometimes....


    If we do not discuss such "Taboo" things ever, then how can we be expected to teach our children responsiblly about sex? If we cant have an adult conversation with our friends, imagine how difficult it will be speaking to your children about sex(imagine how many lies you'll tell them just because youre afraid of truth). If our friends ask us how my father is doing, knowing hes going through treatment for cancer of the colon and testes, I shouldn't blow off the hook because thats a serious personal family issue. Like an adult, I'd tell him what the doctor said. ~shrug~

    Friends make mistakes. And it is not us, but rather they, who have to hold theirselves accountable. We, as their friends, cannot, but can only do the same for ourselves.
     
  12. Do not be fooled. A friend does not invade in such things. Once they have been told that it is none of their business and they continue dump them. They are not needed. :D
     
  13. No one needs friends.

    Its when you want friends just because of the intrinsic value invested within them as the same value is invested in us all; If 'she' persists in her queries, she'll give up after politely declining. Once, twice, thrice.

    Shes still a friend, and of course I'm sure she'd accept one's favor to not ask such things. Its not as if the quetions are uch a nuisance to the point one should feel so offended to ask a friend to leave. Light en up, In so many words. The value of our friends far exceeds anyone's own personal insecurities. And our friends' worth exceeds with intrinsic value beyond our criticisms of them.
     
  14. true friends honor our requests. :) Dump her.
     
  15. Dont dump her. True friends dont just dump friends even if theyve disobeyed our requests.

    Us forgiving is much more important than our friends asking 'personal questions'.

    I dont know where in the Bible it teaches us to shut doors on people. the Bible is a book of love, not rejection, like many would like it to be.
     
  16. That type of friend is not a friend. Dump her if she will not comply with the request. If she repents then the relationship can be started again, but this woman is not healthy to be around or needed.
     

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