Hello All, My boyfriend and I of two years called it quits 2 months ago. We were trying to get back together since then, but because of the emotional abuse I have been subjected to and his anger management issues, when my mother found out, she was furious. And hasn't given her blessings for us to get back together or get married. He had apologized many times and tried to be kinder, nicer, gentler, by giving me flowers trying to be my friend, but it has just recently fallen apart. I made some recent mistakes such as forgetting to invite him to a get-together at someone's place, because he told me he had a previous commitment. But he got mad about it 2 weeks later. Then 2 nights ago, he told me, he is tired of me waiting to make a decision on whether to get back together again. I tried to make him understand, I need my parents' blessings...as it is in the 10 Commandments to Honor Thy Mother and Father so your days on the earth will be long...This keeps playing in my head. My father is sick with Leukemia and eye problems, and my mother is ill herself. I don't want to do something that makes them even more worried than they already are. I couldn't forgive myself. What has kept me delaying on making a decision is his back and fourth-ness. Sometimes I feel he loves me, and others i feel he despises me. he has told me, he'll always love me. So 2 nights ago, he told me he is over. He is tired of waiting. He has moved on with his life. He doesn't care or isn't worried about my stuff anymore. He only cares about himself, and when I asked about going to teh church he goes to, cause the Pastor there asked about me,and if he was comfortable with me going with him, he said, "I guess. I can't tell you not to, since I'm not a member of the church." So in other words, he would exclude me from going to God's church if he was a member?! I feel really down. I know I have made mistakes...stupid mindless ones. I never meant to hurt him. It wasn't like I was sitting and plotting. Things he has done to hurt me many times has been intentional. He told me, I shouldn't be concerned if he sleeps with other girls at this point. He also said, about his anger,, it is him, it isn't going to change soon, so I have to learn to deal with it. He also has done such things as lying to me about cheating, telling me not to tell him about the Bible, when we were arguing and I tried to quote scripture to tell him to control his anger. When I told him that we shouldn't sleep together, he gave me a hard time about that too. I told him, I am trying to do what God has instructed us to do. He has taken his frustrations out on me, when he was being abused or mistreated at work, and telling me I should deal with it. He once told me, you have to be willing to suffer for someone you love. This is true. He says I haven't suffered, in terms on not having modern conveniences. But I have suffered emotional scars which I still am doing now. I'm low depressed, losing weight, forgetful, unable to focus, low self-worth, no apetite, not able to sleep well. Is it too much to have someone love you the Godly kind of love? Or is that impossible to find? Are my expectations (according to my ex) unrealistic? Is this kind of life all I have to look forward to? Is this as good as it gets?! He is a good guy when he wants to be...but he has his own issues that he is dealing with. So I have been confused...I have forgiven him for all of this, and tried to see the good he has done. But can I choose a man over my mother, who has given me everything and sacrificed so much to make me happy and comfortable? The spirit has spoken to her when she prays. This is not something I can ignore. Even if I wanted to go back to this relationship with this guy, there is nothing to go back to. He has stopped caring. Yes, I shouldn't have kept him waiting...but I prayed for God to tell me yes or no. To help me to make the decision because I couldn't with all this pressure. I still love the guy....not sure if he loves me or not....not sure if this is my fault or his....I don't know anymore. But was I doing the right thing by waiting for my mother's blessings and trying to see if this guy's anger would change by taking a break and just being friends for a while?