Bounced Check... Ya gotta love seniors. Too funny !!!

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Dusty, Aug 26, 2007.

  1. Bounced Check... Ya gotta love seniors. Too funny !!!

    Shown below is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year
    old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it
    published in the New York Times.

    Dear Sir:

    I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I
    endeavored to pay my plumber last month.

    [FONT=Times New
    Roman]By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between [/FONT]
    presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed
    to honor it.

    I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire
    pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only
    eight years.

    You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity,
    and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the
    inconvenience caused to your bank.

    My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has
    caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.

    I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and
    letters, --- when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the
    impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your
    bank has become.

    From now on I choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.

    My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer
    be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed
    personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you
    must nominate.

    Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other
    person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application
    Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete.

    I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much
    about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.
    Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be
    countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her
    financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be
    accompanied by documented proof.

    In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a
    PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.

    I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have
    modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my
    account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is
    the sincerest form of flattery.
    Let me level the playing field even further.

    When you call me, press buttons as follows:



    #1. To make an appointment to see me
    #2. To query a missing payment.
    #3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
    #4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
    #5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
    #6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home .
    #7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my
    computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later
    date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.
    #8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
    #9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be
    put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.
    # 10. This is a second reminder to press* for English.

    While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, music noise
    will play for the duration of the call.

    Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an
    establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

    Your Humble Client
    (Remember: This was written by an 86 year old woman)

  2. I LOVE this!!!!!!!!!!!
  3. Yes! I do love this! Fair is Fair.
  4. Hey Brother Larry..... What's the d. d. d. Dumb,dumber, dumbest ????

    What's the matter you don't think seniors are that smart ?:rolleyes::rolleyes:

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