Between A Rock And A Hard Place

Discussion in 'Biblical Advices' started by I_Survived_The_Eighties, Dec 29, 2012.

  1. In another thread i mention how i got a job, praise the lord! Well 2weeks into my job i am having trouble with one staff member who is out to make my life difficult at work. Its working. Yesterday i got angry with him then regretted waht i said. But he had it coming. This young man who is more experience than me is making my life hell i dont know why as i am no threat to him what so ever! I am new to the job so i am no way a threat. He lies, he runs off to the boss whenever i make the slightest mistake, he plays tricks on me and because i am in a situation where i am new i believe him only to find out hes lying. I can't go to the manager because this man is his best worker. They cover each others butts so to speak. This man can do nothing wrong in the managers eyes. All i want to do is go to work and have a good day but hes making it harder for me. Ive prayed and ask God for help i know i should put my trust in God - trust in God always and do not lean on your own understanding is my motto. But i am letting this man get to me. I do not know what to do or how to handle this. I am on a 90 day trial to perform well.

    Did i jump into this job without even thinking what God wants. Did i make a big mistake? These thoughts are running through my head at the moment. If God is for me who can be against me.

    Im going to go into work in 30min walk up to the man and apologise make a new start and see how it goes from there.

    Any help would be appreciated.

  2. Hey, Tia! :) I haven't introduced myself yet, but my name is Katie :)

    I'm really sorry about the situation that you are in. That's frustrating when you feel like a person is out to get you, huh?

    The sad thing about life is that there's going to be people out there that don't like you. That's a given and I'm sure you know that. I don't understand why this person is going to all these extremes to make your job more difficult. People just do what they want to do, without thinking of how it'll affect others.

    I'm going to challenge you to maybe change your thinking when this stuff happens. You can only control yourself and how you react. This is going to be a very difficult challenge, because it's super hard to be Christlike in situations like these. But I challenge you, when these situations arise, force yourself to think, "I'm not going to let it bother me. I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm doing fine." And keep repeating it until it comforts you. The way you think can run your life (Proverbs 4:23).

    Change the way you think. Your first thought might be among the lines like, "How can this person do this? I've done nothing wrong to them, so why are they treating me like this?" And your thoughts may even go to revenge. When you start thinking like this, you start becoming the "victim" in the situation. And honestly, you don't want that. This person wants you to be a victim, and you don't want to give this person what they want, right? So, be a conqueror with your thoughts.

    You said, "All i want to do is go to work and have a good day." Guess what? You can STILL have a good day! :) It's your choice to still have a good day. Just don't let the actions of this person get to you. Easier said then done, right? But that's why I'm challenging you to change your thinking. Because once you do, and when you start to speak life to yourself, you won't CARE what this person is doing to you!

    If God is for you, WHO can be against you? He's your Defender already. Even start praying that God starts defending you. And even if you don't see God defending you, you have NO idea HOW He is defending you behind the scenes. Just because you don't see Him defending you doesn't mean He isn't! :) He is for you and He wants the best for you.

    I think it'll be good for you to talk to this person :) I think that'll be a great start!

    Be like Christ. Show Him who Christ is in your actions. And there are times that being silent is being like Christ. You know the saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"? If this person is treating you badly, saying something in your defense (whether it's insulting or something cruel), it's better left unsaid. Because you want to be the bigger person and once you're rude or insulting to this person, you're doing the same thing that he's doing to you. And you don't want that! :)
  3. Thanks Katie,

    just wanna add my name is not Tia :) . TIA stands for 'Thanks in advanced'.

    Anyway guess what happened i get to work this morning and who should turn up as i walk in the door. The big boss Joe not a little boss but the boss of bosses so to speak. So he asks me how am i finding work, then i thought this is my opportunity to speak up. So i explained to him what is happening but i do not want the guy to get into trouble (actually i would rather he didn't maybe just be told to let it go I dont want this guy to get into trouble ive forgiven him already) The boss was a really good listener and said he will speak to the manager about it on Monday.

    And yes i went to work and had a good day today.

    Yes i agree with you about thinking, What you think you create if not careful your negative thoughts can become an reality. Thats why its better to never lean on your own understanding, ive done this to many times in the past and it will always end up at a dead end so to speak.

    God Bless
  4. I'm going to muse here just a bit. I wonder what is going on in the heart and mind of your co-worker? Why does he treat you the way he does? What threat do you pose to his sense of well-being and equilibrium? I have often mulled over these kinds of questions in my own working experience and those of others. I think the answers to these questions may offer a clue to developing an effective approach to your working relationship with him. I'm not suggesting that you are doing things "wrong", mind you, we all encounter discord and even outright hostility in our dealings with people at times. Sometimes it's just miscommunication, misunderstanding. Sometimes we represent an obstacle or a threat to them. Sometimes we are the recipient of the anxiety or stress which stems from another situation.

    I don't have an answer that will fix everything, in fact I'm not really offering an answer at all, only food for thought. Katie had good things to say and I feel no need to add to them. Hopefully your Big Boss is a man of wisdom and will help to resolve the issue. Praying that God will give you grace, strength, and wisdom to endure and to overcome.
  5. Acording to the boss & site boss they already know about him and told me he is very immature and I am not the first person who has laid a complaint about him. They asked me if i wanted them to have word with him, if they do this he will get a warning on record i dont want him to get into trouble so i said i will tell him ive spoken to you and see how it goes from there. Naturally he will freak out that the main bosses know about it.

    Why dont they just sack him? Because he is the only person on site that knows this type of work if they sacked him they would have to hire some other and retrain him/her.

    Maybe for this man the job went to his head he needs to come down a few notches.

    In fact i feel abit sorry for him now that a few days have passed. He comes across as if he needs everyone to like him this can cause chaos in the workplace as he goes from one staff member to the next complaining about the other. So ive kept my patience when around him and treat him as a friend would. He lacks something in his life, love, friendship? I dont want to dig too deep into his personal life.

    Maybe i should start praying for him before i head of to work each morning. Wouldn't hurt.
  6. Hi there,

    Please do not take this the wrong way, but I wonder if some of this has to do with any form of jealousy or envy in the way his boss takes a liking to him. That is not to say that your coworker is not a distasteful person who is difficult to work with. I just want to challenge you as to why this is bothering you so much when the Lord is the only one who should matter. I would seek Him and only Him and ask "why am I letting this guy get to me?". You said yourself that many others have issues with him. Clearly, he is struggling with internal conflict and YES, praying for him is actually beneficial in this situation. 1st John 4: 20-21.

    I try as hard as I possibly can to talk to someone who doesn't like me and get to know them. A lot of the time I can sense they are begrugginly having the conversation, but I can also tell their hearts are softening as they start to see I'm a real person, especailly if I reviel something small thing private about myself. They usually back off a bit after that.

    I suggest the above. Good luck and God bless.
  7. First why should i be jealous of a worker that is on less pay then me? I get 50cents an hr more than him. No, no jealously there. I think hes just needs his head examine to be honest. IMHO just an immature trouble maker that goes running of to the boss whenever someone is not up to his standard. He also enjoys making fun of christians which i dont take too kindly, i haven't told him i am a christian. Unless he can guess.

  8. It just appears as though you have anger, and I am trying to tap into why you have this anger when there are horrible people everywhere in the world. :( I'm not calling you a jealous person; as I stated, "...I wonder if some of this has to do with any form of jealousy or envy in the way his boss takes a liking to him." Thank you for clarifying that there is none as it was just a suggestion and popped up in my mind. Either way, I always think it's a good idea to figure out why we have such intense emotions with certain people and how we can renavigate those emotions to use them in a positive way. Perhaps his perception of Christianity is skewed and you may be the one to show him the Truth. However, I feel this will be very difficult if your heart is not authentically forgiving of his character and if you hold judgments and anger towards him. He may not be able to see it directly, but as humans, we have an innate since of others true motives and emotions.

    I still agree you should pray for him and well as for yourself to overcome such anger, and then talk to him about your Christianity for which he may know very little about...:unsure:
  9. Thanks for your post lifeasweknowit.

    you got half of it right up to the part anger, if this was 20yrs ago i probably would of knocked the guy out:ROFLMAO:
    But not anymore i have learnt it is better to walk away from trouble than to meet it head on.

    The Meassure of a mans strength is how he controls his anger.

    I know all that and the rest, plenty of times i have walked away from a fight but that doesn't mean i should stand up for my/our rights (work staff). God prefers us to walk away from anger but not be a sook about it. Christians dont back down.

    Let me explain their is no anger towards this man their is more pity than anything else, and if i were not able to forgive him then how could i pray for him? - first steps to forgiveness is to pray for your enemies. No judgements no anger no envy just pity and more likely saddness towards him maybe in my post i have come across as judging this man but that was not intentional. God knows where im at. Oh i would love to convert him to believing in God - But this man when he looks at a pretty woman the words that come out of his mouth are about sexual gradification. Abit of an animal. Come to think of it maybe i shouldn't be in this job. The filth that comes from his mouth would make any christian want to leave.

    Yes there are horrible people everywhere, the world is full of them but they are not in your face. This is completly different this man is not going to go postal and kill everyone. Maybe you have never come across someone like this in your life. I pity you if you do tho then you might understand where im coming from.

    God bless

    King James Bible
    He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.

    James 1:21
    Nor filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not appropriate; but rather giving of thanks.

    Proverbs 30:12
    There is a generation that is pure in their own eyes, yet are not washed from their filthiness.
  10. Yes I certainly have! My mother emotionally tormented me throughout my life and I was a victim of bullying throughout school. I have physically fought my mother at times after I was tired of her hitting me. I had so much rage that I have said and done things I would rather not recall and mention. Trust me, when I say I know what anger and that I have come across very mean people in this world. Unfortunately, at a very young age. My anger has certainly subsided as I have come closer to the Lord. It waxes and wanes during times when I feel I am growing further apart from him. It comes stronger when I know Satan is trying to pull me away. I am VERY familiar with anger and very ashamed of it. This is one thing I thought I got a grip on that has more recently come back but I know a lot of it is in connection with other struggles.

    Sorry, not to go off topic, but your messages did come across as anger. Thank you for clarifying. Either way, I think it would be good to go and chat with him and bring up the topic of Christianity and see where it leads.
  11. Very sorry to hear that.

    Because of your past anger issues do you think you might be quick to judge others where you believe they have anger problems?

    Well at least i know now and wont be confused about it. Thanks for coming out about your personal problems.

    Yes i will pray for him tonight i'll be working with him tomorrow, im not sure about the topic of christainity though i dont think hes ready yet.
  12. I personally think it's a natural response to get irritated with the way he's being treated. I didn't get the sense that he had anger problems, but coming to people for prayer to get help of how to deal with it. I see it as pretty humbling, in my honest opinion :)
  13. Lo and behold i went into work today and 30 or so minutes after i started he comes up to me and ask a question i wasn't expecting.

    Are you a christain
    Yes i believe i am, why?
    I could tell
    Then he said i better not talk like how i talk in front of you for now on (swearing, womanising, sex and all that other nasty stuff) then he apologised to me.
    I said yeah that would be nice if you didn't but no worries what you say goes straight out the other ear anyway.
    Then he said I use to go to the elim church once.
    Shocked, he went to church??? :)
    I was waiting for him to ask me about what my beliefs are i never said anything as i wasn't still sure what he was trying to say was he just picking at my brain or was he serious i thought.
    If tomorrow he asks me i will tell him about jesus our saviour

    and yes we had a good day working together:) I will pray for him again tonight.

    Amen to that.
  14. That's wonderful news!!!!! Please keep us posted~
  15. That's awesome! :D

    I go to a Bible school called ELIM Bible Institute, so that's cool that you he went to an Elim church :) :)
  16. ^Its pretty cool aye. There is an elim church just up the road from me I see a lot of young people walking back after service on Sundays.
  17. In my experience folks are actually assuring their position of most praised and allegedly "best" worker when they see in someone else some threat (that you actually would turn out to be a great worker and team player) they do the "Squealer" thing because they are afraid. They often train you inadequately so later they can tarnish your reputation to make themselves appear to shine. The Managers often miss that this is actually not actually in their company's best interest and by seeing this people in the beguilement of their butt kissing think the information is helpful, but in effect they are often driving away many who in the long run would be excellent workers caring for their company and the product they would have brought to the table.

    So in addition to Katies wise advise (by the way Katie I read your blog and liked it very much) I would suggest you pray FOR them and be kind to them, piling hot coals upon their head (eventually, if you last, the guilt and shame in light of your humility and kindness despite them will effect them). in other words without even speaking of Christ, be Christlike unto them *we were all enemies of God once, knowingly or unknowingly...

    I do not know if this was the Spirit or not but I heard within that "he is stealing from the company...small things but steadily" now this was either about you or him but I thought I would share...that does not mean that if he is you should be like him and squeal just be aware tis could just mean he is taking from the company potentially good people (thus indirectly hurting the company).

    brother Paul

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