Being single.

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Disciple, Feb 26, 2011.

  1. Yes, Paul says that the single person is in a better position to serve the Lord. Personally, I have been "single" since my marriage broke up 17 years ago, and will probably remain so till I die. I absolutely could not imagine fitting a bloke into my life now. In fact, the ministry I do now would be pretty much impossible if I had to fit my life around a marriage relationship. I really believe singleness is God's purpose for me at this time of my life.

    However, it is not God's purpose for everyone. Marriage was ordained by God. Consider this: if every Christian remained single, the Church would grind to a halt very quickly. How many are Christians today because of the influence of godly husbands, wives, parents or grandparents?

    Like so many things in our Christian walk, it is a matter of finding what is God's will and purpose for you personally, and then walking in it.

    One thing that is important though, whether we are married or single, is that we find our fulfilment in God, not in another person. Only God can "complete" us. To look for a person to fulfill that role is to seek the impossible, and to expect someone who is already in a relationship with us to fulfill it is to place on him/her a burden that is impossible to bear, and that will ultimately destroy the relationship.


    Charmony and gemma say Amen and like this.
  2. I can relate to this wholeheartedly.
    Before I become a Christian, I was hoping my partner would be the "hero" I would look up to.
    The one who would give me unconditional love, and be the role model to uphold good values.
    But when he did not live up to this, I was disappointed.
    Then when that magical day happened and I was transformed, one of the revelations God gave me was that man can never be my hero, only Jesus. He is the only one who can give me the love I need, the only one who can provide the example to follow and the only one who I can trust and will never let me down.

    That made a big difference to our relationship as I don't expect so much perfection from my partner anymore and he doesn't get the feeling of letting me down.
  3. Sometimes it sucks to be single!! Dating within the Christian culture somehow is very complicated...after turning my life over to Christ at age 23 my dating prospects plummeted down to a itty bitty percentage of the male population in my surroundings. I'm sorry I sound a bit pessimistic about it but that's how it's been for the last 3 years. When I was out in the world I was boy-crazy and dated so many men I lost count. But I praise the Lord I am no longer attracted to men who do not love Him, and I'll always be thankful to God for taking me out of my darkness because it did nothing but bring me tons of pain.

    However, most men I've met in church are either fake christians or weak christians who don't care much to serve the Lord. Almost all the men in church that have approached me I am not attracted to. The ones I wish would consider me don't. And then there's the ones who use "God told me" in their relationships, one man I liked who proposed to me "thought" God was telling him I was the one, but bottom line he wasn't in love with me so I broke it off.

    Yeah sometimes it sucks to be single. Especially when the days get lonely and wish for a hug or someone to hold my hand. After the crazy life I led for years the road back to purity was very long and very painful. I battled much with the thought that due to my past sins I deserved nothing now, but that's not how God works, He is indeed a God of mercy I know that full well. I don't know what His plan for me is but I do know that where I am now is better than anything I would've planned for myself, my heart is healed from all the beatings it endured and now it can beat without shame and it is learning to love in purity and in truth through Jesus Christ. I started this post kind of feeling sorry for myself, but I feel better now, God is awesome!! :)
    Dok and Ginger say Amen and like this.
  4. A book I recommend is "Lady in Waiting: Developing Your Love Relationships" by Debby JOnes and Jackie Kendall

    It's really good and I encourage all singles to read it! =)
  5. laoxi, I think you could author a book for young people. You are speaking to the heart of lots of younger persons.
  6. But how does this play out with extreme literalists that believe Men did not write the bible under influence of the holy Spirit...but God penned every word?
  8. I would say, God allowed Paul to give his opinion because there was some value in it - otherwise God would not have allowed it,....

    HOWEVER, God also made a point of letting us know what was written was not a command!!!! If it were, He (God) would not have allowed Paul to write it was not a command but an opinion!

    You see, if you believe every word was written according to God's will, then you must believe Paul gave his opinion on the matter, not an absolute command! ;-)
  9. I don't know if anybody mentioned this yet but,

    A lot of people take that verse in Genesis out of context. They say "How come it is better to be single, if God says it is good for man to not be alone in Genesis?" If I could shed some light on that verse, the context of God's mission for Adam was to "Be fruitful and multiply." It was Adam's only command. This would be extremely difficult without Eve. Therefore, it is good for man to not be alone.

    There is benefit to both marriage and singleness. However, singleness is a gift. Jeremiah had to be single, and he was always in communion with the Lord. Paul, was not always single. The Bible doesn't say what happened to his wife (I believe she left after his conversion), but it was mandatory to have a wife in order to be a Pharisee. Paul would have known what it is like to be both in a relationship and single. His conclusion was it is better to be single, because you have less responsibility. You don't have to tend to your families needs, and you can focus entirely on God. In our generation, being single is the time meant to be taken to grow in the Lord so one is prepared for marriage. The Lord has purpose for both married and single people.
  10. Thanks for that! :) I didn't realize that was what it meant!
  11. i think monastic life is better cuz you just pray to the Lord and not doing sexual acts whatsoever...

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