Being single.

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Disciple, Feb 26, 2011.

  1. The bible says that if you can remain single then this is a good thing, but if you cannot contain then get married (or seek a partner with the help of God). It is written they that are single live to please the Lord.. Those that are married live to please their partner thats why it is best to live single if you can contain.
    Some people become weary searching for love, and sexually frustrated but just trust Gods will and live to please God.

    Anyone have comments, thoughts or questions about being single?
    Terri A. Constant likes this.
  2. I can see the wisdom and logic of being single and more pleasing to the Lord. I am single and in my last relationship found I was spending less time with the Lord as far as reading my Bible and study. I think it is just something you have to work on.
    Vheneza likes this.
  3. Well in Genesis, God created Eve from Adam's rib because:

    "And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help mate for him." Genesis 2:18 KJV

    No, I do not believe it is better in the eyes of the Lord for anyone to remain single. However, if you do, it is OK with the Lord. But marriage is a sacred covenant between men, women and God.
    Terri A. Constant likes this.
  4. In I think corinthians paul said it is better because one that is married lives to please his/her spouse but one that's single lives to please God.
  5. I believe that there are more pro-marriage versus in the Bible than pro-single life. For me, living in a solid Christian marriage can reflect the glory of the Lord as well as the monastic life. The decision to remain single is really between you and God.
  6. I believe God means for us to balance each other. A man and woman fit together...God made it that way. He gave Eve to Adam as a helpmate. He created woman from man's rib. That seems significant to me. Why would it be recorded so if God did not mean for us to see we are to be one. One in Him.
    I know there is worse than lonely. It is better to be alone than with the wrong person. It is better to be alone living for God than living a life of strife without balance in your life as God met it to be.
    Someday...still hoping [​IMG] God will bring that balance for me. I do think He created man and woman to be together to face a world that can wear you down. Two people encouraging and supporting each other in love.
  7. Being single is sometimes frowned upon in Christian circles. If not blatantly, then the impression at least is conveyed. It takes the supernatural grace of God to maintain an honorable single life (if one feels called to it), no less so than it takes the supernatural grace of God to sustain a healthy marriage. There are pros and cons to each. High divorce rates in and out of the church make it evident that marriage is by no means the utopia that many people expect or hope it to be. It takes a massive amount of selflessness on the part of both parties. I'm not married. Never have been. So I don't consider myself to be an authority on the subject. However, I think it's at least partially true that God never ordained marriage primarily to make us happy, but rather, first and foremost, to make us holy.

    On the other hand, being single has its own unique set of challenges. No-one will understand how utterly painful loneliness can be unless he or she has personally experienced it. Loneliness is however no basis on which to enter into marriage. The worst thing you can do when entering into a relationship is to expect the other person to make you fill some kind of void inside you. That is grossly unfair, and a disaster waiting to happen. No-one is equipped to do that for anyone else. A healthy marriage can only exist between two people who are whole in and of themselves...two people who choose to complement and serve one another, rather than place the burden on the other of having to make them happy. "You complete me.", he said in the movie. Rubbish. It may make for a nice sappy ending to a film, but it's entirely unhealthy.

    If we can't find our contentment in God and in what he has called us to, we can't expect to find it in anyone else. Finding contentment in God can often be easier said than done (believe me, I know!), and we must rely on the support and strength of our heavenly Father. Being single is good. Being married is good. It's about discovering what God has called you to personally, and once discovered, asking him to give you the grace and wisdom to do that call justice.

    By no means do I speak as an expert on the matter. Me and God are in the middle of one epic wrestling match...on this and a number of other issues. I guess the bottom line for me is learning how to find joy in the moment, to embrace gratitude, to recognize the gift of the present, rather than waiting for some future event or circumstance that will hopefully make me happy, and in the meantime robbing myself of the wonder of the journey on the way there.
    Terri A. Constant, whoami, vision1 and 1 other person say Amen and like this.
  8. Well, even though it does say that, it's doesn't talk against being in a relationship. I mean, didn't he create Eve for Adam because it wasn't good for man to be alone?

    I've been single for 2 years. And for the past 2 weeks, I have been lonely. Which is weird. Because I'm content with being single, but it's been very hard these past two weeks.

    But God's scripture for me is "If you delight in God He will give you the desires of your heart." :)
    Vheneza likes this.
  9. I broke up with a man nearly 6 weeks ago. I miss the good times, but unfortunately he was an atheist, and we dated 4 1/2 years. I have a lot of catching up to do with God. The guy is outa here. But I am convinced that God has someone better for me who is a Godly man and who will be a great fit--but I'm going to continue to live my life for God and like the scripture above say--If you delight in God He will give you the desires of your heart. It will be in His time, not mine.
  10. "If you delight in God He will give you the desires of your heart."

    I used to interpret this Scripture to mean that as I learn to delight in God, He will reward me by providing me with the things I long for. But, what if the things I long for were never part of His will for me at all? What if what I want would bring me more harm than good, and I with my limited understanding and vision, am just not able to see that?

    Maybe a better way of looking at that Scripture is to conclude that what "He will give you the desires of your heart" means is that God will take His own desires, and place them in my heart. Perhaps it means that he will gently transform my own selfish and harmful desires, and replace them with His own. In other words, He will give me a heart that cares about what He cares about...that desires what He desires. That may or may not include a partner in life, but it will always include what my Father knows is the very best for me. He does not always give us what we want, but He always gives us what we need.

    Just a thought. :)
    Terri A. Constant, gracerevher and Soulful says Amen and like this.
  11. 1 Cor 7:
    This I say by way of concession, however, not as a command.
    To the married, however, I give this instruction (not I, but the Lord): a wife should not separate from her husband
    To the rest I say (not the Lord): if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she is willing to go on living with him, he should not divorce her;


    It's important to keep passages in context.
  12. Yes, I agree. If our desires don't match up with His will, it won't happen. :)
  13. People often seem to think that if they're single, then their purpose is to search for a mate. That is not God's plan for singles. That is not the purpose of being single. Singleness is not a horrible or incomplete state. If a person cannot be complete single, then they have no right tangling someone else up in their mess, or trying to fill the void which God owns with another person. That isn't fair to God, and it really isn't fair to the other person. Singleness has a purpose. Even if you eventually marry, singleness has a purpose in preparing you for who you are meant to be for God and for your mate.
    gracerevher, xspinningisfun and Soulful says Amen and like this.
  14. Amen so much to Banarenth! That's where I KNOW I went wrong (twice...). I so agree with you!!!!!!
  15. That's exactly why I'm single. I'm content with it. Do I sometimes get lonely? Of course, where I would want a boyfriend. But I know that I'm single for a reason. Every day that I"m single, it's because God is either not done preparing me, not done preparing the man for me, or just wants me to be single during this time.

    Eventually, I feel strongly that God will provide me a man.

    But until then, I"m continuing to be content and happy and live for Christ <3 (and obviously continue living for Christ after i meet that special someone :p)
    gracerevher and Soulful say Amen and like this.
  16. How does it work for those of us who have been saved after marrying .... my husband is not a Christian. He is almost personally offended that i have turned to Christ. I know that God has a purpose for me and i keep praying for his salvation but its not easy.
  17. Paul specifically talks about this situation in 1 Corinthians 7

    12 To the rest I say (not the Lord): if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she is willing to go on living with him, he should not divorce her;
    13 and if any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he is willing to go on living with her, she should not divorce her husband.
    14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy through the brother. Otherwise your children would be unclean, whereas in fact they are holy.
    15 If the unbeliever separates, however, let him separate. The brother or sister is not bound in such cases; God has called you to peace.
    16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband; or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

    Altho, you should note, Paul is giving his opinion here, not a command from the Lord in verse 12.

  18. Thanks Ginger - I had totally forgotten this ...i even have it written in my diary from last year!!!
    I can be so dim sometimes :p
  19. Just because you forgot something that was written a while ago doesn't make you "dim" :)
    It's good that you write that down in your diary!!!!! :)
  20. Thanks xspin .....Hugs :)

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