Being Permanently Disabled And Wanting To Marry

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by banjo71, Sep 4, 2013.

  1. I am mentally disabled. I have diabetes very badly, too. My raw gross medical/prescription bills come to over $2500 a month, approximately.

    I depend, as a single guy, on Medicare and Medicaid and a supplemental insurance for prescriptions to help pay for my doctor visits/labs/medicine. Without Medicaid, I would probably die in a month or so.

    My girlfriend and I have decided we want to marry in 2014. So, I visited the Medicaid office hoping to find out some information on the premium/spenddown for Medicaid coverage if we combine our incomes in marriage.

    My case worker told me because of Obama Care and the uncertainty they no longer can tell me this information, in fact they can't even tell me if I'll be eligible or not for Medicaid any longer, even if I offer them some income figures from my girlfriend and my SSDI. She told me I have to get married and then find out what Medicaid will decide.

    There's a good chance I'd get kicked off of Medicaid, which would make it impossible for my girlfriend and me to cover my medical expenses on our own, like copayments and deductibles which have been waived because I'm on Medicaid now.

    I talked to my pastor about this, and he said, "Welcome to the world of health care politics." He didn't offer a solution, but to make a wise choice about marriage or not.

    I love my girlfriend, and it's not right to not be able to marry for fear of losing all benefits if you do. God has always taken care of me in the past, and I suspect He will in the future. But I can't live without my girlfriend, either. God put us together. Why would He make it so hard to survive afterwards? I'm confused and tired of all this, and just pray that God will continue to work in our lives and hearts as we decide not to get married so that I can keep health benefits.
  2. Gosh, I don't have any advice because I don't know about this sort of thing but I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope it works out.
  3. What is marriage? Is marriage sanctified by law or by God? If married in God's eyes-are we breaking the 'law' if not being 'unionized' under the law? What is the 'act' of marriage by God's definition? Who decides how your marriage counts as legitimate by God?
  4. Go through the ceremony, because, "...what God has joined together, man must not separate." (Matt 19:6). Then, after your union is sanctified in the eyes of God and the Church, you can (in my lay opinion) behave as though you were married spiritually, and wait to find out the actual repercussions on your health care after things in the system are more settled. The reason many pastors, elders, and myself would shy away from agreeing that marriage in the church is enough; is that the legal and financial commitments are an additional reminder that marriage is a big deal, and not to be entered into lightly. Don't forget, even if you never make it legal (and I would strongly recommend you do if at all possible financially after finding out the full picture) that it's just as serious in the eyes of God.
  5. This is highly stupid advice.

    In 1991, I married a lady who was receiving medical assistance. Guess what happened?

    Just as you describe your fear, she no longer qualified for it even though she still had no income. My income was
    considered as being hers, and therefore, she was disqualified.

    Please consider the results this can have on your fiancée as well.

    That is because your pastor HAS NO solution to offer. What he has given you is good advice.

    I think you have answered your own question. Don't go off and get married before you and your future wife COMPLETELY understand the financial ramifications your marriage will bring to you. If that means you have to wait until the Obamacare dust settles and people again know what qualification criteria apply, then God will supply you His presence and His grace for waiting.

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