Discussion in 'Family and Parenting' started by jumalaa ei ole, May 2, 2006.
Haha... who would?
Speaking as an abused child myself, I cannot condone any kind of physical discipline visited upon a child. The dammage can be life long, and is the primary reason why I have no children of my own.
just my opinion
Yeah me too…I'm against beating children.
Children’s sometimes didn’t realize if they done something wrong or bad, we just need to talked to them and explained to our children’s, if they done something wrong or bad.
This is such a sensitive issue theese days! I think many times things are taken to the extreme both ways. There are people who are tottaly 100% against any kind of spanking and there are others who will slap their children at the drop of a hat. My husband and I are adopting our daughters through CPS (Child Protective Services), and part of our training in the beginning was to be told about certain things that do happen to children, so that we can learn to read between the lines of certain behaviours! You would be surprised at the kind of abuse that goes on in some homes. As far as Christian homes are concerned, a lot of people reffer back to the "Spoil the rod, spoil the child" scripture, but I am wondering... If we did an in-depth study of this scripture and the words that were used what would we find the "rod" really is? I've never done such a study myself, so I am just curious about it, but I am wondering... I grew up in a very abusive situation myself, and, unfortunatelly, it was somewhat common practice for parents in my country to beat their children. Some did it more and more severe and some less and not so severe, but almost everyone did it. I have to tell you that the beatings I endured did not make me want to do the right thing! In fact, just the opposite! So, I am 100% against BEATING, but I guess spanking, on the padded side only, and ONLY as a absolute last measure, I don't know... maybe... I think we should all listen to the Lord very closely when it comes to our children, because for some, no matter how much spanking they get, that will not detter them... That's just my oppinion anyway.
I am completely against the beating of children...Yes, children need to be disciplined, but there are other ways. Telling them where they have commited a wrong and talking to them, helping them understand where they have gone wrong, I think, is far more effective than a beating ever could be. It pains me when I go out and see parents physically abusing their children - yanking them along, etc...
Go to your room??
I don't know about other countries but here in the US sending a child to their room is not punishment. Phones, TVs, radios, Ipods, Nenteno, X box, and all the privacy they need to do what ever they want. I might be wrong but that doesn't exactly sound like punishment to me.
An old saying: an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
A swat on the back side once in a while when their toddlers and you won't have to be wondering where they are when their teens. Beat a child ??? never!! But placing a hand on their back side is not beating.
Exactly. In my house, the rare times I do use physical punishment it works like this: They are advised of the impending punishment, sent to their room with "the belt", and wait 30 minutes. I enter, they explain why they are in trouble, (this is really the most painful part of the process), the punishment is delivered in 3 quick strikes, then I hug and explain that I love them, and issue dropped. The wait is not to torture them, but I made a promise to myself when I became a parent that I would never strike my children in anger, hence the "cool down" period.
Catagorically AGAINST. Sparing the rod for measured corporal punishment, yes. As they grow, there are much more effective punishments. For example, my 13 year old would LOVE a spanking as compared to a week with ZERO video games or phone access.
If you do not beat the child they will be very unruly!
Terminology can be very important- a couple of whacks on the backside is a spanking- beating is something entirely different-
To discipline, means to teach. You hitting a child after he hits you, what does that teach him? To hit. Children look to us as an example, we should teach them the right way. Not inflict physical abuse, what will they learn from that?
As the Bible tells us: "He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24) and "Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14)
I got belted alot when i was little. Once my mum chased me around our house [coz i didn't want to shower lol] then smacked me & told me off. Back then i hated her for doing that but now i appreciate it. I'm glad for the slaps & beltings & whackings i'd probably be really spoilt & disrespectful otherwise.
Are parents the only ones allowed to spank/punish children? What about teachers?
I am totally against physical discipline. I believe positive discipline that is age appropriate works best. For example, with a 2-year-old, diverting their attention away from something they shouldn't be doing. For an older child give them "time-out" or "down-time" when they misbehave. We as adults have "down-time" when things become overwhelming. Shouldn't we give our children the same respect? Tell them obviously you aren't able to obey the rules out here right now so go in your room for 20 minutes and have down-time. Read the bible, draw, nap, whatever. (Take away the "techno" stuff).
When the bible is speaking about the "rod" it is not literal. It is the "rod" of discipline. Discipline is not meant to be physical, ever. It is to guide and train. A shepherd does not beat his flock.
Also, a child will remember a beating or spanking forever and not even remember what it was for. It takes many, many hugs to take down one hurtful act.
I was physically disciplined. It hurt me emotionally (broke my spirit) as well as physically (I have very tender skin - even on the so-called "padded side").
Please, parents, re-think your position if it is for physical punishment. You are grown up... I'm sure you can think of other ways to train your child and help them grow in the love of the Lord.
This might help: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp
Yes, I am a parent. These techniques work.
Here is more on Christian parenting...
Hope it's helpful.