Are Men Really That Shallow?

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by 福井舞, Jul 29, 2014.

  1. I just came across this article on the pairing of Charlize Theron and Sean Penn again.

    and I cant help wonder why it is far more common for a much older not so attractive man with a younger stunning woman than vice versa.
  2. I don't know. I've met plenty of shallow men and women, but I don't know if that can explain the stat. I haven't perceived consistant correlation between people who marry across age gaps and those who don't in "shallowness"

    I've heard some say that women are sometimes attracted to someone of a higher maturity level whereas men are more often threatened by it....but that postulation is about subconscious instinct. It doesn't seem fair to attach a judgement of "shallowness" to something that is instinctive.
    Where is the Messiah likes this.
  3. In the battle of the sexes, claiming the other sex is shallow, we should consider that celebrity gossip is consumed primarily by women.
    Milena likes this.
  4. I think it would be fair to define shallow as the act of following instinct. So, it would be fair to attach a judgement of shallowness to something that is instinctive.

    Maturity level? Boulderdash! Older men seek young women because younger women are prettier. Women are more complicated. But, traditionally, women place more weight on income than looks. Women want money and older men have more money.
  5. Charlize is 38 and Sean 53. That seems perfectly fine. Heck even if Charlize was 30 it would be fine.

    Woman like older men. Men like woman who look after themselves. It is only an issue if the man is in their 70's and gets a model :giggle::giggle:.
  6. There are many older women that have wealth and power that attract younger men.

    Who are we to judge who should be with whom?
  7. Men want a hard body and women want money. I'd say they're equally shallow but the men show it more by looking only at the physical.
  8. I disagree. I think that's a shallow definition of shallow :)
    Shallow seems to be a pejorative. If shallowness=following instinct that implies that instincts are negative...
    So...mothers nurturing their children? Is that shallow? Men protecting their families and households? Is that shallow? What about the instinct to flinch if something comes at your face?
    If it's your opinion that only some instincts are "shallow" or only "shallow" under certain circumstances that seems highly subjective.
    Again, I disagree but more tentatively. In my personal experience, I've seen as many gender gap marriages to a disadvantaged older husband as to someone well-to-do. But that's just been my perception. My interest in international history has led to nearly identical maxims in the US, Mexico, Asia, and Europe all of which either proclaim the younger your bride, the less likely you are to become a hen-pecked husband. I still favor the idea that men and women possibly feel more secure with an age imbalance, but again, that's just been my perception, I wouldn't bank on it.
    Huntingteckel likes this.
  9. I think that men want beauty, and women want money and luxury. Also on a biological level, men can reproduce until they die, women lose that ability after their 30's or 40's. Men may instinctively try to be with women that he can reproduce with, even if he doesn't actually want kids with said woman.

    Obviously these are generalities, and there are people who don't fit into them.
    Huntingteckel likes this.
  10. Hmmm, I'm definitely not one of the more attractive females and my boyfriend hardly has money at all. I think if people just "love" eachother for their looks or money, it's not really love... I think people should love eachother for their personality, and if they believe God wants them to be together.

    I do wonder why most couples consist of the male being older than the female but I don't think it's got to do with how good they look or how much money they have. The Bible says that the wife must be submissive to their husband, and people are usually submissive to those older than them so maybe that has to do with it?
  11. I'm confused...Your profile says you're a guy and yet you're asking what men think...?
  12. where in my original post did I say I am seeking guys opinion?

    and if I did , what is wrong with asking fellow guys opinions?
  13. well said

    guys are indeed shallow by looking at the physical only.
  14. of course, women can be shallow too by after a guy's money....
  15. I always try to avoid tarring large groups with the same brush. If you start a statement with, "Men want..." or, "Women think..." or even, "Christians believe..." then you are getting into trouble. The simple answer is some men are shallow and some are not. So I try to be careful of generalizations, but if we are talking about the stereotype of unattractive older men I think it might be that it might be less common for a woman to demand an attractive man than the other way around.
    God is Love likes this.
  16. when one put my title into context based on the entire thing I have wrote, then they can see what my intention is.

    but I see your point.

    that said, if people have problem because they feel I have generalize anything, then the right way to deal with it would be saying something like " I think you are generalize it a bit, and it does not seem appropriate because....."

    that is the mature way of doing it.
  17. Oh I agree. I think that two people can fall in love regardless of attraction, fertility, or money. But it has been scientifically proven that we are biologically driven to be attracted to people with those qualities. Also, women have been proven to mature faster than us boys, so to find someone on their maturity level, women will often find herself most comfortable with a man who is older than her.

    I watched a fascinating documentary called The Science of Sex Appeal from the Discovery channel. I believe that it's available on Netflix. That documentary had some fascinating social experiments between men and women, and it was quite enlightening about how we choose preferential mates.
  18. Well, many believe that is the way men and women are wired! I see lot of truth in that statement.. If we look at it, man's key responsibility (starting from Adam) has been to work and provide for family. It would involve various aspects like hunting, farming, etc.. These activities require men to be very visual.. If a man looks at a deer 20 feet away, he needed the ability to identify at what pace and projection he should let his spear out.. Whereas women's key responsibility has been to take care of family.. This involves good planning, managing with what is in hand, forecasting, etc.. So men and women had different responsibilities and their inherent nature is tuned for that.. May be that explains this..
  19. one should also consider research shows relationship aggression, including catty comments, are most frequently employed by women too.
  20. When I read the title of this thread, my answer was "yes" before I even read the topic... Older men dating younger women? Yes this has been from the beginning, even Joseph was believed to be about 20 years older that Mary... I also date a girl about 20 years younger than myself ...she made the choice to date a older man, she is well educated and I cannot in anyway think that she is being taken advantage of in any way? The truth is most men don't become "men" until later in life.

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