Apprently, We Weren't Careful Enough. My Wife Is Pregnant Again.

We aren't trying to make you feel bad. I'm just trying to understand what's going to help you and where you're coming from.

I think the only thing that will help is turning back the hands of time and somehow blocking the conception of this child. That may sound selfish, and it's not meant to be, but currently it is how I feel.
 
I have not gone to our church, yet, no. I will probably talk to our pastor on Sunday. I will not go to the Catholic church since I no longer consider myself Catholic and do not feel right talking to a priest. It will have to wait till Sunday.

Go wherever you must. Though if you go to your local parish, even though you aren't a practicing Catholic, they will offer you as much help as they can as they do even for those who aren't Catholic at all.

It's only advice. It is of course your choice -- if your current church can help, then that is good as well.

Thank God for your new child, and pray for safety, comfort, and guidance. May God be with you and your family.
 
Go wherever you must. Though if you go to your local parish, even though you aren't a practicing Catholic, they will offer you as much help as they can as they do even for those who aren't Catholic at all.

It's only advice. It is of course your choice -- if your current church can help, then that is good as well.

Thank God for your new child, and pray for safety, comfort, and guidance. May God be with you and your family.

I believe that he can help, yes. However, what I guess would really help since I know I cannot turn back the hands of time, is that I am assured that my wife's health does not take a nosedive and that I will not lose my family. Which I know I cannot receive those assurances at 100%.
 
I am fearful of my wife's health issues as well as losing my family. Losing family to some may not be a big deal, but it is to me.

Abortion hasn't even crossed my mind.

It's always a big deal to lose your family. I lost mine over my wife along with other issues and it's horrible. That being said, I'm much happier being with my wife than I was with them. I don't understand why they'd disown you over having another child unless they are taking care of you financially.

That's good. You sounded like there was some sort of alternative so I was just checking.
I think the only thing that will help is turning back the hands of time and somehow blocking the conception of this child. That may sound selfish, and it's not meant to be, but currently it is how I feel.

Well, that isn't a possibility. That child is your child. I understand you're worried about your family and wife, but now that the baby is there and it can't be changed, you have to change your thoughts on it. The baby had no choice in the matter.
 
It's always a big deal to lose your family. I lost mine over my wife along with other issues and it's horrible. That being said, I'm much happier being with my wife than I was with them. I don't understand why they'd disown you over having another child unless they are taking care of you financially.

They are not helping us financially, other than here and there maybe buying diapers or wipes, but it is not asked for.

No, I have five other children besides our daughter, and this unborn child. My mom didn't want me having them either and constantly hounds me for having five other children and our daughter as well. She is concerned that if my marriage does fail, my wife will take me through the ringer for child support. My wife has already said she will not be like my ex-girlfriend and only want $50 a month for my other five children, she will pursue the maximum that she can get.

With my marital problems, her threatening divorce all the time, my mom doesn't want to be a part of this if it goes south.
 
That's good. You sounded like there was some sort of alternative so I was just checking.


Well, that isn't a possibility. That child is your child. I understand you're worried about your family and wife, but now that the baby is there and it can't be changed, you have to change your thoughts on it. The baby had no choice in the matter.

I may try to see if my wife will give the child up for adoption. That would be the only alternative that I will consider.
 
I have tried that tactic before, they do not. As they feel that God is not that involved in our day to day lives, nor is He the one that gives or doesn't give us children. That I just have too many problems for another child which includes marital issues, with arguments and my wife threatening divorce almost at each argument.

I am literally almost breaking down.

All this fear does not help the situation.
God is the One who gives children. He is as involved in our daily lives as we let Him be. I would look for support from local churches. Have a little faith and everything will work out just fine.
I suggest reading a biography of St. Francis of Assissi, a man who truly lived by faith.
 
Ah, okay. That makes much more sense.

What does your wife think of this new child?

She seems fine, but I know that at some point she will start to panic. Sher is always fine at the start of huge life changing situations, but overtime starts to panic.

She does feel as most here do, that God allowed this to happen, so it's according to His plan that this is occurring. I'm just not at a point with my walk where I can say the same and mean it.
 
All this fear does not help the situation.
God is the One who gives children. He is as involved in our daily lives as we let Him be. I would look for support from local churches. Have a little faith and everything will work out just fine.
I suggest reading a biography of St. Francis of Assissi, a man who truly lived by faith.

Thank you for the biography suggestion, I may or may not read it though. I am not one to usually read a biography as they are dry and do not hold my attention very well. I generally get through the first chapter or two.
 
She seems fine, but I know that at some point she will start to panic. Sher is always fine at the start of huge life changing situations, but overtime starts to panic.

She does feel as most here do, that God allowed this to happen, so it's according to His plan that this is occurring. I'm just not at a point with my walk where I can say the same and mean it.

It's scary to have any life changing event, so it's okay to panicky over them. Do you read the Bible?
 
If not everyday, at least 5-6 days a week. I try to read a Proverb a day as well, so that I am reading Proverbs through every 30 days.
That's good. I'd say that Psalms probably fits better for you than Proverbs though. David had a lot of rough patches in his life where he had to rely on God, which is where you are now.

I would start on Psalms and read the stories about what was happening in his life when he wrote it. Trusting God is difficult but necessary. It takes a long time to get to a point where you feel safe leaning on Him rather than your own strength.
 
Getting a vasectomy will prevent this from happening again.

That is being discussed, however, if I cannot get it through the health department, we may not be able to afford it.

I called the health department earlier to inquire as they do them for free for low income families, which we truly are. When asked if I had insurance I let them know that I have a county health plan, which is not considered health insurance as it's only job is to help those with low incomes to afford doctor's visits and needed medications. They will not cover a vasectomy. I was told that because I have this county health plan, I am not eligible, even though they do not cover them at all.

So I called another health department in my county, and I am awaiting a phone call back from the person that knows all about the program for free vasectomies. I was told during that phone call that they may not have the the funds available anymore this year and U would have to wait till next year. Which isn't a problem, since the due date is February/March.

I had thought about getting one since before our daughter was born, but I am baby when it comes to pain, and am cringing even now at the thought.
 
She just took the home pregnancy test yesterday, and it came up positive. She is at her doctor's now to confirm.

I am panicking because neither of us wanted a second child because of her health. She didn't want to do any of the birth control because she is on enough medications already, so we were doing the pull out method and only having sex every couple weeks (yes, I know it only takes once). With condoms I took too long, which was difficult for my wife because of her health, so we didn't use them either.

I am terrified of telling my mom and step-dad since they have already threatened that if my wife was to get pregnant again, they would disown me and my wife as well as their grandchildren. We're not sure what her family will say. Her mom kinda laughed when we told her last night night as she lives with us.

I really do not want to lose my family. I am so terrified of this it is starting to make me sick and I only found out last night.
Congrats man.

Are you trying to get more work?

Your wife is up and down with her medical condition and low income. Just ignore her divorce threats and get on with your job of being the provider. She does love you, otherwise she would not have given her body to you.

Just focus. Focus on making more money! Praying for you!
 
Congrats man.

Are you trying to get more work?

Your wife is up and down with her medical condition and low income. Just ignore her divorce threats and get on with your job of being the provider. She does love you, otherwise she would not have given her body to you.

Just focus. Focus on making more money! Praying for you!

I wish it were that easy to just ignore, but when you hear it over and over, ignoring becomes harder and harder.

As for work, I was able to pick up a pet sitting job that will last me at least 12 days, maybe a full two weeks and then they will need me again in August, and my photography freelancing has been steady where I get at east one a week at $25 a job, but until I can get at least 6 months ahead in my child support, that is where that money goes. My child support must always come first from what I get paid.
 
She just took the home pregnancy test yesterday, and it came up positive. She is at her doctor's now to confirm.

I am panicking because neither of us wanted a second child because of her health. She didn't want to do any of the birth control because she is on enough medications already, so we were doing the pull out method and only having sex every couple weeks (yes, I know it only takes once). With condoms I took too long, which was difficult for my wife because of her health, so we didn't use them either.

I am terrified of telling my mom and step-dad since they have already threatened that if my wife was to get pregnant again, they would disown me and my wife as well as their grandchildren. We're not sure what her family will say. Her mom kinda laughed when we told her last night night as she lives with us.

I really do not want to lose my family. I am so terrified of this it is starting to make me sick and I only found out last night.
Psalms 127:3-5 (KJV)
Lo, children [are] an heritage of the LORD: [and] the fruit of the womb [is his] reward. As arrows [are] in the hand of a mighty man; so [are] children of the youth. Happy [is] the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (KJV)
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
 
Psalms 127:3-5 (KJV)
Lo, children [are] an heritage of the LORD: [and] the fruit of the womb [is his] reward. As arrows [are] in the hand of a mighty man; so [are] children of the youth. Happy [is] the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (KJV)
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.


Trust me, I know these scriptures, however, it doesn't make me any less terrified.
 
Trust me, I know these scriptures, however, it doesn't make me any less terrified.
It's easy for me to say this because I'm not in your shoes, but believe me when I say, trust God and put away your fears. Fear is the opposite of faith. We all must face events out of our control, which is a false understanding anyhow, because we are not in control at all.

If you truly trust God then don't have fear. The devil comes with all kinds of thoughts to infect your faith. He will even go so far as to attempt prophecy by manipulating those around you to prove those unfounded thoughts are valid. If your focus is solely on Jesus, trusting in Him and Him alone, and that He wants the very best for you, then if you are the only one left on the planet you'll be at peace and full of joy.

My wife's water broke on Tuesday at 2am and was in hard labor until Friday 4am when the returning doctor still found us there. I almost lost my wife and my son, but God was there. When my wife was under local anesthesia for the c-section I walked in to be with her and she thought I was an angel. This was 21 years ago. Baby and wife were in the hospital for a week. The doctors warned that any more babies and she would have to have another c-section. My next two children were born the old fashioned way and no one suffered any ill effects.

Trust in the Lord, you have no other choice because if you don't you're not in control and if you do you're not in control. So if you have faith in His abilities you'll win no matter the outcome.

Romans 8:28 (KJV)
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.

I'm glad you know these verses, now it's time to believe in them and put them to practice and restrain your fears for faith.
 
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