ok im gonna be completely honest, when my family or my aunt (shes a missionary) talk about God i feel like i just get the shivers. on the inside i feel annoyed, and i know its bad, but i do and i dont want to feel annoyed. i still havent been baptized and i keep gettin told that i must get baptized very soon like my family, but i dont rly know whats stopping me. well i guess its cuz i have to share a testimony but i feel i dont even have a testimony and im scared to speak publicly, and i dont want to be baptized when im not even half devoted. school, stress, and laziness occupy me and idk what to do. i pray to God but i dont think its with my whole heart, how can i pray with my whole heart? it makes me upset to know all the things God has done for me and i cant even do some simple things for him. i sin to fit in at school and i come home guilty. help please?