Any Help/advice?

ok im gonna be completely honest, when my family or my aunt (shes a missionary) talk about God i feel like i just get the shivers. on the inside i feel annoyed, and i know its bad, but i do and i dont want to feel annoyed. i still havent been baptized and i keep gettin told that i must get baptized very soon like my family, but i dont rly know whats stopping me. well i guess its cuz i have to share a testimony but i feel i dont even have a testimony and im scared to speak publicly, and i dont want to be baptized when im not even half devoted. school, stress, and laziness occupy me and idk what to do. i pray to God but i dont think its with my whole heart, how can i pray with my whole heart? it makes me upset to know all the things God has done for me and i cant even do some simple things for him. i sin to fit in at school and i come home guilty. help please?
 
It sounds like your family might be putting some unnecessary pressure on you. Baptism as I understand it is a commitment to God to serve Him with all your heart, mind, and soul. There is a lot of debate over whether baptism is required for salvation, but I think that it's an important step.

I do know that you don't have to be anywhere near perfect to take that step. Also, you should not be made to testify if you don't want to. In the event that your family or your church does not wish to respect your feelings on that, I would recommend doing it through another church. In fact, I believe that any Christian could perform that with you anywhere, privately if you wished.

One of the most powerful tools that we have is the ability to pray for improvement. Anytime that I am falling short, I ask God to make me more sincere, stronger, wiser, etc. etc. Once you have acknowledged your problems to God and asked for help, it really has a way of setting your mind at ease, and it is very effective at making you a better Christian.

I'll keep you in my prayers, friend.
 
Baptism won't 'save' you or change your 'salvation status'; it will however tell the 'world' that you are serious about being a follower of Jesus Christ.

My suggestion is that you pray...and pray again. Don't do it until you are comfortable in the Spirit. More is expected from you by GOD after baptism. It is the figurative moment that you 'set your hand to the plowshare' and don't look back. It takes courage.

But you can draw the courage from the LORD; because relying on our old nasty sinning 'self' won't do you any good...

I myself am a coward....but I can't quit now...can't... (that would be the easy path).
 
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