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Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Serene58, Aug 24, 2016.

  1. Hello, I'm unsure of where to post this. I have come across a situation in my life. We're I am questioning if the matter is me or others. I have found myself struggling with the attitudes of men. I would love for one day to have a family, but if it's nots Gods will for me than I will just have to seek His guidance. Every Christian man that I have come across is very insistant that I continue my studies for a better job, seeking more money.... And they prefer for woman to keep their opinion to themselves on church matters. I find it very lopsided that in one aspect of life they want equality and the other to keep quiet. Every non Christian the same. Is it me? Or am I just simply attracting the wrong type of people? or perhaps I am the one lacking ambition?All advice is appreciated.
  2. Blessings Serene58 ,
    In this situation I want to first ask you this one Question.....where is our Lord God in all this ?

    You say if it is His will and if it is not his will. Well which one is it?
    God's will is the same for every single person.....His will is His Word.

    He does have a plan for each person but that does not guarantee it will be done.

    What is important here is finding out what God's Word says about it and then committing it to prayer using His Word. Then allow God to show you Who!!

    Proverbs 16:3 amp

    Roll your works (cares) upon the Lord ( commit and trust them wholly to Him ; He will cause your (my) Thoughts to become agreeable to His will ) So then shall your (my) plans be Established ( understood directions) and Succeed ( make the correct choice or action )

    I will Roll my works (cares) unto the Lord
    I will commit and trust them totally to Him And He will cause my thoughts to become agreeable to His Will
    So then shall my plans be Established as understood directions and then Shall my plans or Correct Choices Succeed.

    Melizza, loriT and Cturtle says Amen and like this.
  3. Just a quick thought......you might need to change where your looking for a mate, or people whom you hang out with. A lot of people who profess to be a Christian, really are almost exactly like the world, because so much of the worldly ways have become the norm inside the church.

    There are a bunch of people that God is raising up, that are more separated unto God...who are more committed to following His Ways and not the worlds, but the sad part is that they get a bad rap from the rest of the believers who would rather please the people of the world than God. They look for human praise rather than praise from God.
    Melizza, Serene58, loriT and 1 other person say Amen and like this.
  4. If these "Christian" men are insisting on you pursuing your studies for more money, that shows where their hearts are.
    Melizza, Serene58, Cturtle and 2 others say Amen and like this.
  5. I agree with LoriT; however, I guess I would need to know what the circumstances are. Are you currently pursuing a degree of some nature? Perhaps there is a lack in communication?

    My Pastor and his wife both have master's degrees in education (I believe) aside from his theological degree which is worthless in NYS anyway. Is there a possibility that these 'men' want to see that you have brains as well, or has been purely money motivation?

    As far as 'keeping your opinion to yourself'; that's a different issue. You shouldn't be expected to be a doormat; but you also have to submit to "Godly" leadership of your husband which means he will need to be pursuing the Lord in his day to day living. There should be no reason why a Christian husband and wife can't communicate differences with each other (civilly).

    I will add this caveat: Don't settle on being unequally yoked with a mate; but you aren't going to find perfection until you stand before Christ. A believer marrying a non-believer could be as bad as a Southern Baptist marrying a Mormon. Either there will be a separation in the future or a fa;ling away of the believer to compromise life in a lukewarm relationship with Christ.

    That all being said: the 'pool of true believers' if you will; seems to be dwindling by the minute....

    Maybe you are meant to be single?
    Serene58 likes this.
  6. #6 Serene58, Aug 25, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2016

    Thank you for that. His will for this stage of my life is a bit unclear. I Believe like any other person at times. Their are stages and moments were u find yourself saying now how do I go about this Lord? And I was wondering if anyone else is going thru a similar situation. Perhaps yes the people that I've met are not going down the right path.

    And Brother Mike I didn't have a degree I started my own business very young. Thru different circumstances in life I left it.perhaps that's were they get their opinion. To me I don't feel it's brains their looking for it feels like well u should look into this it would pay so much more... And I just sit thinking,but I'm content with what the Lord has me doing now... That's why I'm wondering if it's me or them? Also I agree that no one should feel like a doormat in a relationship or start a relationship unequally yoked. And for the third question I don't know.
  7. Your Welcome and to answer your question I must say one walks by Faith. When I find my self in a situation where I have prayed and I know I was heard but still can not say I have a Definite Answer then I check my heart and see what it is I want to do in that situation and proceed forward. All the while committing it unto the Father and listening and watching for any tweaking The Holy Spirit is wanting to do in the direction I am going.

    However. ....Warning to those who Don't get enough word in them and are Not putting forth quality time with the Father allowing Him to mold and change you as He teaches you.
    This type of action can be confused with self and flesh and get you way off course.
    Melizza, loriT and Cturtle says Amen and like this.
  8. #8 Cturtle, Aug 25, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2016
    I would say that if your content, and are not feeling the Lord prompting you to change directions or professions...then it's them. A lot of people are all about money, having more and that is their driving force. Trust God, he will tell you when, if, or where to go.

    And trust me there are plenty of good men out there....just takes patience.

    Many times in the past few years, I have asked the Lord...ok where do I go from here or how do I achieve what your asking me to do? And sometimes He points the way, other times I am learning it's just as fish catcher Jim said, finding the desire that God has placed in my heart, and making sure it's not self driven, but lines up with the Word.

    In my opinion everyone who feels the pull or desire for a mate, if it's not just physical, then it's a God given desire and He has someone planned to come their way. But again it's all about patience. This promise or God given desire goes all the way back to the garden, when God said it's not good for man or people to be alone. And He also said that a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife.

    Those who are content to be alone like the Apostle Paul are usually busy with ministry and fully content for it to just be them and God. But I do believe that the Apostle Paul still had different people who were his companions, and kept him company.

    Serene58, Melizza, Fish Catcher Jim and 1 other person say Amen and like this.
  9. #9 Melizza, Aug 25, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2016
    I just want to encourage you to seek God :)

    I myself am single in my early 30's but I've discovered at this point in time why I'm in this position and it's because God loved me first before I loved Him ("We love him, because he first loved us" 1 John 4:19)- therefore I want to pursue God's heart before Man - I was seeking love in men and worldly things in the past, driven by my own desires and guess what? I failed.

    Sometimes we just need to sit back and think "should I really be looking for a relationship with someone or should I be seeking a relationship with God"? (not saying that you don't have a relationship with God).

    I feel like I'm in love again with God only because He's shown and given me Unconditional Love that no man can ever give. I encourage you sister, pray, seek and spend more time with God and I guarantee you He will shape and mould your heart to what He desires and will decide who or what's best for you.
    Serene58 and loriT say Amen and like this.
  10. To say your 'content' is a big deal; I wouldn't claim that myself. That statement right there either means you're marriage material - or - going no where quick? My guess is it's the first. Pray...let the next relationship be of God's will. Are you involved in some type of ministry at your local church: visitation, woman's program, Sunday school, Bible study group, etc...? If not maybe get in one, start one; it may help attract the right kind of man....
  11. #11 Serene58, Aug 30, 2016
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2016
    I completely agree! That's when I'm the most happiest and being content is not my natural way of being but thru prayer and studying His word it's how I've learned to leave it in Gods hands. Thank you for your kind words.

    Brother V. I was attending church, but I also do my own bible study.
    Melizza likes this.

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