Am I hopelessly lost?

Discussion in 'Answers' started by Unregistered, Jun 8, 2009.

  1. Am I hopelessly lost?

    Hello everyone,
    I have been reading your forum for a while now. I want to join the group but I don't know if I am worthy.

    I was saved and baptized at the age of about 15 yrs old. I remember it was a glorious feeling of peace and wholeness that I felt as if I would explode. But as the years passed I drifted away from the word of God and into the sins and troubles of the world.

    I grew to be mean and angry and only worried about how much money I could make. The job I had I was in control of a lot of peoples way of earning a living for their family. It didn't bother me to see someone lose their job, no matter how badly they needed it. I had no compassion or caring for anyone other than the Company. I was an Old School Hardliner.

    In the last couple of years I was with the company, things really started to bother me. Someone would lose their job, or get sick and unable to work and I would worry about them as if they were part of my family. This started one day when I was really coming down hard on an employee because they were not doing as well as I thought they should be. This man looked at me and said in a broken voice,"I'm doing the best I can". He was and I knew it. From that point on I couldn't be the hard nose that I was.

    Then in 2000 an announcement was made that the company was downsizing and was offered a job at a new location but didn't take it. I wanted out. So in six months the division was to close permanently, and every that didn't transfer would be laid off. I was getting a good severance package and was making plans to return to school.

    Two weeks before the closing, I became ill and wound up in the hospital ER. The Dr said it was just an infection and sent me home. The next day I was still very sick and had to return to the ER. This time my wife had a fit with the Hospital and they admitted me to run some tests.

    After 5 days they still had not figured what was wrong with me so another Dr was called in. I vaguely remember him saying that they had to do something right away or I had little chance of living. The Dr did the operation and found some serious problems and told my wife I may not come through the operation, to pray.

    When I was awakened after the op., I was on a ventilator, had all kind of tubes and things connected here and there and was so weak I couldn't hardly raise my head. I was on the ventilator in the ICU for 5 days. On the 4th day( I think,not sure) I was awake and looking around the room I was in. Looking at the various machines on my right and turned to my left to see my nurse over at the station. I turned back to my right and there was a person standing at my bedside. I couldn't see a face. Only an outline with an extremely bright white, blue,silver looking light just surrounding the outline of this person, and other smaller lights of the same sort just above the bed. As I looked back at the person and thought what are these lights. The person said "They are those that will make you better" then I went to sleep.

    The next day I was taken off the vent., and the next day moved to a room and stayed another 18 days in the hospital. But I never spoke of this experience or hallucination to anyone. Spent the next 9 months with a 10 inch opening in my belly and a colostomy bag then finally another op to put everything back together. Since I have returned to work but not in a position as I had before.

    Now, The thing is, I have just felt so lost and empty since the experience. I know God got me through all this. I have prayed but I don't get the feeling of peace like I used to. I have been going to church and enjoy it but still cant feel the presence of the Holy Ghost. Instead I keep getting this sort of voice saying that I need to listen and learn and go tell everybody. But I also get the feeling that I am too lost to be saved and I am condemned.

    Can it be that I have been so bad that I am hopelessly lost?
  2. Come home prodigal. Your Father is waiting by the roadside robe and ring at the ready.
    Who can separate us form the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord? Only ourselves. When our God says that if we confess and repent yet we "feel" separate because of guilt and condemnation it is up to us to recognize this for what it is- we are placing more faith in our sin that the grace of our God. Condemnation is not of God my friend. Begin to thank Him for His forgiveness. Begin to spend time at His feet again, Soon your gaze will be firmly fixed on Him and your faith will rise. Go ahead, press in towards your God , He is waiting.
  3. Thank you for your wisdom
    God has always provided me what I needed and more, even in times when I was far away from him, He still watched over me and has never let me down. I have only let myself down by not having the faith, trust and love in my heart for him.

    I turned away from Christ who has been reaching out to me for many years and I have been looking toward the world of the human man, instead of taking the hand of The Lord my Savior. I need to stop asking and start doing.

    God has never let me down, I have only let myself down.

    Thank you again my friend for your words.
  4. [FONT=&quot]Not from what you have revealed about your past in this post.

    Being saved is not about having euphoric experiences but from trusting in (having faith in) the Atonement that The Messiah Jesus has obtained for all that believe Him. It is not your righteousness that wins salvation for you. It is the righteousness of Jesus that has secured salvation for you. It is a gift from God to you, one that cannot be paid for by our attempts at righteousness. As scripture reveal:

    Romans 4
    3 For what does the Scripture say? “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.” 4 Now to him who works, the wages are not counted as grace but as debt.
    5 But to him who does not work but believes on Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is accounted for righteousness, 6 just as David also describes the blessedness of the man to whom God imputes righteousness apart from works:

    [/FONT]7 “ Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven,
    And whose sins are covered;
    8 Blessed is the man to whom the LORD shall not impute sin.”

    All Praise The Ancient Of Days
  5. Anytime my friend. Allow me to share something with you that came up once before with another brother:

    Is your love growing cold?

    An old German evangelist was once asked by a reporter "what is it like being a Christian"?
    His answer- "It is like having two dogs inside of me, a black one and a white one- and they are always fighting".
    The reporter then asked "which one wins" to which he replied "the one I feed".

    So it always boils down to the same things. What are you spending your time with? What is the priority in your life?
    You need to remember that Christianity is a living relationship between man and God. Like all relationships this grows when we invest the time and energy to make express our love and receive that love back. Like any relationship our hearts can grow cold if we spend our time perusing other things and neglecting what matters most.
    I have seen people get so involved in life that when their kids are grown up and out of the house they discover they do not even know each other any more. How does this happen? Little by little things take the place of time spent and love expressed.

    It is time to get back to the basics:
    Spend time in worship- at least one hour at a time pour out your heart to God- the Father will meet Him there.
    Spend time in prayer- this praying without ceasing thing is really just maintaining an attitude of prayer and including God as the center of your whole day (and life).
    Spend time in the Word- We must ask the Holy Spirit to speak to His heart. God will meet him where he is.

    If we are willing to seek his God he will always find Him. If we value his walk and relationship with God he will begin to peruse Him again.

    I am praying for a rekindling of your love and times of refreshing to come upon you my friend
    Many blessings in Jesus Name,
    brother Larry.

Share This Page