Allowing Your Children To Marry Someone Who Is Much Older?

Discussion in 'Family and Parenting' started by 福井舞, May 19, 2014.

  1. let say if you kids bring home this girl/guy and she/he turn out to be 19+ older than your child, would you be approve, why and why not?

    what would you do if your child insist on continue the relationship despite your objection?

    and would it make a difference if it is your daughter who brought home a much older man rather than your son bring home a much older woman? and why?
  2. How old is my kid in this what if story. I might think differently if my daughter is 35, vs if she's 15.. :)
  3. LOL...

    yes, I know exactly what you mean, if my 15 year old daughter brought home a 40 years old man, I suspect he probably wont leave my house in one piece ( and I am SO NOT violent kind of person).

    so does that mean if your child is an adult, you wont be bothered by the age difference then?
  4. If I have a 30 year old daughter, and she wants to marry a 50 year old man I will respect her decision. I would need to meet the guy first and get a feel for what type of guy he is.
  5. so what if it is your 30 year old son bring home a 50 year old woman?

    I know society usually have double standard when it comes to this kind of things.
  6. I don't see how my opinion would effect her decision. My parents didn't want me marrying my wife and I did it anyway.

    I actually don't see an issue either way. I would be fine with it, I guess.
  7. If he wanted to marry a 50 year old woman, umm…. sure.
  8. you both are extremely open minded.....
  9. Thank you :)

    My wife is three years older than me and I feel we do fine. Obviously three years isn't a huge difference but it feels like it when you're young. Age differences can cause issues but everyone will have issues in marriage. The way I see it almost anything can be worked through if the two love each other enough to work through it.
  10. I married a man that is 10 years older than me. I do not think that once you get to a certain age, age matters. My mom was 17 years younger than my dad. Love is love and age does not matter.
    Where is the Messiah likes this.
  11. I agree

    but from what I know, things could be much more difficult if it is the other way round.....
  12. What do you mean? If the man was younger than the lady?
  13. yes.

    don't get me, I do think love is love

    but researches consistently shows men are biologically wired differently than women.

    for example, research consistently shows men placed much more emphasize on their partners youthfulness and looks where as women placed more emphasize on their partners stability and ability to provide.

    in fact, I came across this interesting research once ( I don't if I can locate it again) that shows while both men and women are attracted by good looks, women can look past this department if that guy they met has other attractive qualities such as personality, where it is much much more difficult for men.

    that is why you probably noticed there is much less pairing of younger men and much older women

    Also I think older women younger men tend to face more stigma from those around them, and that contributes to the stress of the relationship as well.

    obviously older woman younger man pair could work as well, but I do think they do face a more uphill battle compare with older man younger woman pair.
    Where is the Messiah likes this.
  14. Depends on if you are facing a statistical son/daughter situation. In the real world, as a 20 year old male, bringing home a 10 year old girlfriend/ intended fiancée, I guess I would be called a rock spider or similar. At age 30, bringing home the same girl, now 20 years old I would be called lucky. At 70, bringing home that same girl now aged 60 I would not expect to cause any comment. At age 70, bringing home a 20 year old girlfriend, I think gullible would be the most appropriate adjective to use. Mind you, at age 70, I doubt parents would be able to tell the age difference anyway.......they'd just be exited at the prospect of me finally moving out:(.
    福井舞 likes this.
  15. very true.

    mind you, it is possible for a really young woman to fall in love with a much older man

    Morgan Freeman and his "former" step grand daughter come to mind.

    a bit creepy if you ask me, but it could happen.

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