Agree To Disagree On This Forum?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by 福井舞, Apr 25, 2014.

  1. I just saw Polly's thread on deleting her account.
    I cant help but notice there some reply that seemed to be a bit sarcastic towards her....

    don't get me wrong, I am not pointing fingers at anyone, I am actually guilty of this type of things in the past when I was on another Christian forum......

    but I just think we are all Christians here, surely we could find a way to agree to disagree with others on this forum in a cordial manner, and try to focus on the issue rather than on the person? ;)
    Where is the Messiah likes this.
  2. #2 Mitspa, Apr 25, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2014
    :rolleyes: I think you are trying to judge a issue without having all the info about what efforts and time has been made to help Polly. The devil loves to run Christians in circles and waste their time and efforts to make it appear as if they should do this or that. If Polly is leaving it because satan is leading her to leave. Now she has been and is being led around by him at his will..and pretending this is not true is not helping her.
    LanceA likes this.
  3. Polly was here to cause problems on the forum. Anytime she didn't like an answer she would get defensive and actually start making fun of our beliefs. Not sure if you are a moderator, but I would think if you are you would have stepped in awhile back.
  4. Many here are very passionate about what they believe, and as such, it's a bit rare for the board as a whole to "agree to disagree". While we try to maintain peace and friendliness, it's a daunting task, and it honestly wears on me. That alone is the reason that I rarely post anymore. It's difficult to have an honest discussion because there is always someone who will take an honest inquiry as an attack, there is always someone who believes that they hold the only true way of understanding Scripture, and there are always people who come to troll. It's a basic facet of life on the Internet. While such disputes happen periodically in the live Christian world, it's fairly rare in modern times as we try to cooperate and recognize that we all serve the same God. We've settled our disputes in real life by forming denominations where we are able to exercise unity individually. Since this site does not support any particular denomination, it tends to be a bit of a melting pot/powder keg at times. As I stated earlier, it is because we are all very passionate about what we believe. Most have a genuine faith and look at challenges to that faith as an attack that must be defended. I try to view posts through that filter, and only intervene when I see personal and hurtful threads. Sometimes, I'm too strict, other times I'm too lenient. That's because I'm human and cannot always spend many, many hours looking into the intent of every post. Like the other moderators, I have limited time. Lately, my time has be exceptionally limited. I try to be fair, and I never promote one doctrine over another, but that in itself is sometimes unfair in itself. We try for an atmosphere of friendly cooperation, but we are a place for individuals, and the system breaks sometimes.
    ixoye_8 likes this.
  5. #5 福井舞, Apr 26, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2014
    hey there

    you are right, I don't have all the information, and I am glad you are telling your side of story.

    the thing is that even as I read through Polly thread, I already knew there are two sides of every story, and I suspected Polly probably was difficult to deal with ( though I can not confirm or deny anything, as I did not go back and read everyone of her threads and posts, and she has posted quite a bit, I don't have time to do that)

    if you have tried to help Polly like you said you did, then I think that is great.

    I was really addressing some of the responses she has received on that particular thread.

    And you are right, we need to tell people the truth, but then again, scriptures tells us we need to do it in "love"

    my understanding of that is that 1 we need to examine our own heart first to make sure we are really doing it for that person's best interest and 2 if we took the step I have just mentioned seriously, then we would be careful with our delivery in a sense we would do it in a way that build that person up, not tear them down ( I am talking in a general sense here).

    anyway, I don't know if Polly claimed to be a Christian or not, I can no longer access her profile page.

    if she did, she could have just been religious, either way, I felt bad because I can not help feel that given the response she has received, is she more likely to want to seek truth or step into church, probably not.

    again, like I have mentioned, I am not perfect myself, I have made plenty of mistakes in the past, and I am definitely still learning, I just want create this thread hopefully to get all of us to do some pondering.
    autumn oddity likes this.
  6. please don't get me wrong, I am not justifying whatever Polly has done wrong in past at all.

    but I am sure you would agree with me, as Christians, we are still responsible for our own behaviours regardless of how others has acted, and two wrongs don't make a right.

    and neither am I suggest we don't need to defend our faith, or defend ourselves if situation demands it.

    I just think there is a Godly way to do it.

    and addressing the behaviour instead of the person is a good way to go, in my experience.

    for example, there is nothing wrong with saying to a person " I think you are being disrespectful, ( then describe the behaviour itself), don't speak to me like that please"

    also for me, if a person is a non Christian, or a Christian in name only, then it is expected they will not agree with us, and yes, they will make fun of our belief at time.

    of course we should defend our faith, but I just think we need to remember that person's is still being blindfolded by the devil and try to defend our position firmly, but still try to be loving to that person to win them over to Christ

    obviously it is easier said than done, I myself would probably be quite offended if I had to deal with Polly....

    like I have mentioned, I am not perfect myself, and I am very much still learning......

    also you are right, I am not a staff member here, ultimately what happened between you guys and Polly is between you and for staff members to sort it out.

    so forgive me if you feel I should mind my own business, my intention has never been to point fingers at anyone.
  7. well, I think it is great that you decide to stick by the rules.

    I assume you and Jeff have discussed this beforehand on how this site need to be operated.
  8. anyway, this is what I like about this website.

    I mean you and Jeff could probably ignore the rules if you want, and no one could do anything about it, but as far as I can see, you don't do it

    and it shows integrity.
  9. We've gone through a few different revisions of the rules and the culture of the site overall, but Jeff is and has always been the one that has provided the vision.

    I try very hard to maintain an unbiased position, but I can think of at least one instance where I've failed in that respect.

  10. Apparently agreeing to disagree is "new age philosophy."
    I think we need to lovingly disagree with people if we disagree. It's hard to take pages of insults, whether they are passive aggressive or not, and still respond in kind, like I have failed to do at least once.

    I'm not sure about Polly. I tried my best not to insult her in any way. Generally I would have left her to study the bible and learn for herself rather than disagreeing with her but since she was actually asking questions I thought she wanted answers. Apparently she didn't like the biblical answers she heard, which it too bad. I hope her bible calls to her until she actually picks it up and reads.
    autumn oddity likes this.
  11. when I say agree to disagree, it meant something along the line " I know I am not going to change your mind, and you are not going change mine, so how about we just left it here, as further discussion will only turn into something ugly and not beneficial for anyone involved"
    Sweet Pea likes this.
  12. I know what you mean. There are certain topics, Annihilationism apparently being one of them, where some peoples minds are already made up and they will refuse any civil discussion. It's really unfair for the people that want to learn, like myself. I do think if someone knows they will not change their mind no matter what then they should just stay out of the discussion.
  13. Op, i do agree with what mitpsa said, could have done without the purple eye rolly emoticon..but He is right.

    I dont know if you've seen pollys threads, but...she'd go on abt severus, she'd ask foradvoce with out relly applying it, if we said aanything abt God taking place over severus ..she'd sorta shut down. I liked Polly , its just, this is a Christian forum site.... and she didn't agree with alot of the beliefs. Although many here were patiance...
    I do agree w you... I do sometimes see a bit of arrogance from users at timesthough
  14. Yeh, the purple eye rolly, was it REALLY necessary?

    just kidding ;)

    no it is ok, I have been on other Christian forums before, and I have learnt the importance of not taking small things to heart.

    unfortunately , I could no longer access Polly page.

    based on what you guys said, I guess my hunch was right, she probably was difficult to deal with......

    it never is easy to deal with people who behave like that with love, and I am very much learning it myself.
  15. #15 Mitspa, Apr 27, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2014
    :rolleyes: Come on this is kinda cute....:D

    Ahh...and look at the "wink" at the end of your post... lol....get the "wink" out of your own eye before you try to remove the "roll" in your bothers... right? :D Just kidding also
  16. Maybe you gave up on her too early :( :(
  17. Or maybe everything is just like its supposed to be? and we did all we could to help... don't play mind games with me, this is not California, where folks can just pretend they are a tree or a butterfly and others go alone with there nonsense...:rolleyes:
    LanceA likes this.
  18. I'll be back. I need some coffee first.
  19. This is someone I never met or exchanged posts with. I dont know any of the details of how or why she left.

    The problem in general (maybe not this case) is that online Christians are so hard to get along with. Personal insults happen, false accusations happen, and my personal view is that these never advance the discussion. I know others on here take a different view. They feel that God personally appointed them to stamp out false doctrine, to weed out the devils so to speak. This appears to be the main reason that "agreeing to disagree" is impossible, because these different viewpoints, on how a discussion should proceed, are fundamentally irreconcilable.

    Then I also understand the plight of the moderators here who want to grow this forum. They dont want to censor or ban half their membership. Its an unfortunate fact of life that personal attacks is what attracts the most viewers who come to watch the "train wreck" that results.
  20. Oh, you have no idea. Sadly, or happily, none of us do this as a full time job. The only way to do this successfully is if our entire current staff was full time here doing just this. As it is, we are volunteers. It's really difficult to keep up with as some are very easily offended, while others are genuinely trying to help, while still others are really dedicated to just stamping out anything they perceive as false doctrine. Add the half dozen people a month that we get who believe that they have a unique direct line to God and expect all the rest of us to listen with great interest to their amazing revelations even when they do actually violate Scripture, and I'm surprised interdenominational interactions are ever viable.
    Where is the Messiah likes this.

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