Age difference in relationships

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Art, May 23, 2008.

  1. Age difference in relationships

    Hi Guys,
    I'm wondering what people's opinions are on age difference in romantic relationships.
    I know the Bible gives many examples of severe age differences,
    but maybe this day & age is different in people's minds.
    So what do you think? If two people are mature, does it matter?
  2. Define "mature." ;)

    Normally when I see people ask this question about age and relationships, it is usually because they have a hidden agenda being that one of them is quite young (or under legal age of consent) and they are looking for support that their relationship is okay.
  3. If two people are adults.
    If God approves of the relationship. (and He won’t if one isn’t an adult)
    And with “God’s approval” I’m talking about being within the will of God.

    So… God is best qualified to answer your question.
  4. I'm definitely talking about two adults here,
    and a relationship isn't the first thing on my mind at this stage in life,
    particularly while unemployed.

    I've dated someone ten years younger than I as a non-christian,
    and although it didn't work, my intentions were honorable.

    Funny I've believed to have received an answer from God regarding employment,
    but it doesn't appear to be true, so I'm left to wonder if I just think things up.

    Like another thread in this section where a young man says every woman in church is waiting for a sign that never comes.
    It is easy to believe as a man, that if I never instigate anything, then nothing will ever happen.
    Or you can convince yourself that "God lead you to this one", and never really know.
  5. I have found this to be common with Christians..... often they think they are hearing the word of God, or think they are seeing a sign, but in reality it isn't one.

    I tend to be a skeptic by nature, and so for me to hear a word from God or see a sign, he has to really be beating me upside the head with something. :D It isn't that I ignore things the first time (or second time, or third time, etc.).... no, I see and hear them loud and clear. I just do not accept things until there has been confirmation after confirmation. Not all signs out there are from God.

    Personally, with the age thing, I agree with Who Am I. Age is not the important part of a relationship.

  6. I don't believe age matters as long as it's not an improper relationship between an adult and a child. Maturity is not a requirement for a relationship. I wasn't all that mature when I married at age 22, and neither was my wife. Of course, that marriage didn't last long either because of her unfaithfulness.
  7. Hi there Art,

    Welcome to CFS. I hope you don't mind, but I checked out your website.
    At your age a relationship with a woman ten years younger might cause some difficulties but age alone wouldn't be a breaking point in it.
    Scripture tells us not to be yoked (bind or tie ourselves) unequaly, primarily to those who are not believers. But unequel or differant, social, ethic, cultural, life style, financial status can cause problems. And those differances are more common with the increased differance in age.
    The more interests values and freinds you have in common the better the prospect for the relationship and again age differance plays a role.
    Social and family acceptance could be a factor but shouldn't with only a ten year differance in age.

    Age should be a concideration but by no means the only consideration. In the end it is a judment call.

    Sincerely His
  8. Thanks, some interesting replies there.
    This is the reason I'd look at someone younger. Otherwise it would be very easy.
  9. You know without action from your own part, God may not work through you. I have heard many stories of people waiting for something to happen and never recieving anything but when they got up and took some action, God worked miracles in their life. Can't recall the exact scripture on this one but there is one that talks on this very issue. Bottom line, get up and make something happen and let God "guide" you and open doors. :cool:

    In regards to your first question though, age in relationships matters only if "YOU" question it. If you are wondering whether it is appropriate and it doesn't feel right, then maybe it isn't the right relationship to be in (assuming both parties are consenting adults of course). However, if everything feels right, pray about it and ask for God's blessing!! He WILL guide you friend, have faith!!!:)
  10. Be led of the Spirit, He will direct you into action.
  11. Good answers so far. IMO, if you are both adults this needs to be taken on a case-by-case basis, prayerfully.
    What kind of age difference are we talking about, anyway? 5 years isn't the same as 30 years, you know?

  12. I definitely agree with this. I personally (as a single person who is totally open minded about it) really think it depends on the individuals. Now, I think when you're 18 and 40, there's a real problem. I think that's a matter of double immaturity, because if nothing else, you're clearly too immature to see the absurdity which is a 22 year age difference.

    Now, I also think that when you're talking 10-15 years, it genuinely depends on several things. I'd consider:

    1. How old is the youngest person? Are they a mature adult living a mature adult life? Or are they a freshman in college dating an exec. Clearly, this is a bad match.
    2. Culture. What does the local culture feel about such relationships? This will give a good indication of how outside stress could affect the relationship.
    3. Is the relationship honoring the younger party's parents? I think that's the biggest biblical hurdle.

    Basically, it depends on the person. A person involved in a relationship like this (or who has been) will 99.99999% of the time say, "Age doesn't matter! It's only a number!" Whereas more practical people may be a bit more pessimistic about the idea.

  13. I think that if two people are adults and they have honorable intentions then age doesn't matter. I am dating a man eight years older than I am and honestly I couldn't be happier. I do believe God has brought us together, it's hard not to think that. I have dated men my age, and some older and I don't think age matters when it comes to love.

    What matters is how he treats me, our belief systems (I couldn't be with someone who believed differently), whether or not we can have fun, talk and other things. There are a lot of things that go into a relationship and I don't think age is one of them.

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