Advise For Me

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Anthony L. Rodrigues, Sep 16, 2015.

  1. Hey y'all,
    So, I became a devout Christian when I was 13 years old, and when I left home at 17 to pursue my career, I began to dive into Truth and research all other religious viewpoints too. Long story short, the more research I did, the more the "Case For Christ" as Lee Strobel's title of this book assumes, became impossible to ignore. About 15 months ago, as I set in my room, a year after a four-year relationship ended, I met a flight attendant from Casablanca, Kingdom of the West (Morocco). She is a sweetheart, bytheway, and as I have read over these other forums of people seriously saying some utterly stupid things about Muslims, it rather made me angry, since I spent time in a Muslim country for nine months. She is not what many would call devout, and you need to understand the psych of the Muslim mind.
    However, we started to date 11 months ago, and first it was rocky since I came from a Western set of thinking, and hers, also Western but mixed with Islamic principles. She is a semi-practicing Muslim and we have had many discussions concerning Islam and Christianity, and she had said before that she would prefer to marry a Muslim, but if God has us in mind to be married, then she is happy about that. We both do love each other, and both have met each other's nuclear and extended families. We all really get along well. So, the advise I am seeking doesn't have to do with our dating aspect, it more has to do with the fact that I love her and want to witness to her effectively and slowly. I have read Nabeel Quershi's book, "Seeking Allah Finding Jesus" and he helped me figure out how to witness.
    So, I need help brothers and sisters, I have already taken the steps and bought a Morrocan Arabic study bible since she verbalized that she would be willing to read and study it. I am exitied because I know that Muslism truly do bseek God with all their hearts, but they don't know Him just yet, and I need advise on how to prceed.
    In loving thoughts,
    Anthony, Jr.
  2. Hello Anthony.. Glad to hear you got saved at young age.. I also got saved at a young age.. But during my youth, I drifted away from Lord's ways.. While still calling myself Christian.. I was not rooted in the truth.. Then Lord brought me back to His ways..

    I am a little confused.. Are you seeking advice on the relationship (whether you should go ahead or not) or how to testify to her? Those are 2 different things.. Bible does say that we should be equally yoked..Something to consider
    Grant Melville likes this.
  3. Paul says it would be beneficial for an equally yoked family but acknowledges that marriages exist that aren't yoked in that manner, and I am seeking advice on how to witness to her. Since she has been raised in nothing but an Islamic viewpoint, it will require time since it's her entire belief foundation, the same as it took time for me to begin to apply the Bible to my life as a new belief foundation.
  4. Well, it's different right.. Someone might get saved after being married.. Always couples don't accept the Lord same time.. So the marriage becomes unequally yoked.. When that happens, it does not mean the believer should simply go for divorce because they are unequally yoked.. The Lord will use the unbeliever to bring salvation to entire family.. I am not saying a believer and non-believer cannot marry. I am just saying what would be more beneficial.. I was born in a house which was unequally yoked. I personally experienced the consequences of such a marriage.. My mom is a believer and my dad is a Hindu..

    I don't know how much you are familiar with eastern culture.. Marriages are not just between man and women.. It is actually between their families! Something to consider..
    Elizabeth Lambino and Grant Melville say Amen and like this.
  5. Yes I know this.
  6. Hello Anthony, pleased to meet you!

    I hope you don't mind me weighing in on the subject of your relationship - I know these matters are deeply personal. I've been in a string of 'relationships' with unbelievers in the past, and the result was never good. Some of those experiences were very painful, and harmed both of us. I'm not saying that your relationship will be a failure, but my experiences led me to appreciate what Paul teaches in second Corinthians:

    "Our mouth is opened to you, Corinthians, our heart is expanded. Ye are not straitened in us, but ye are straitened in your affections; but for an answering recompense, (I speak as to children,) let your heart also expand itself. Be not diversely yoked with unbelievers; for what participation is there between righteousness and lawlessness? or what fellowship of light with darkness? and what consent of Christ with Beliar, or what part for a believer along with an unbeliever? and what agreement of God's temple with idols? for ye are the living God's temple; according as God has said, I will dwell among them, and walk among them; and I will be their God, and they shall be to me a people." - 2 Corinthians 6:11-16

    Paul is appealing to the affections of the Corinthians here, in a matter concerning affections. His language is strong, but it's because of an expanded heart and unrestricted affections towards them - this is vital for their welfare.

    Regarding your situation, one can't be led to believe that Muslims worship God. I know there's a good deal anti-Muslim rhetoric in the press, and so on, and I don't agree with that at all. But we have to be clear that Muslims are idolators and unbelievers, and they worship a demon masquerading as God. I whole-heartedly support your exercise to preach Christ to the young lady and give her every help and support in her soul exercises. However, I'm concerned about the unequal yoke, and I believe our brother @Ravindran feels the same. If we aren't right in our relations with God, it will harm our testimony.
    Elizabeth Lambino and Ravindran say Amen and like this.
  7. I understand this however, it's been almost two years of knowing and being around her. I cannot control who God places in my life, and I believe that nothing happens without a reason. I love her and she loves me, and she understands that since I love her I want to witness to her. That is why she has been open for this long to me spoon-feeding bits and pieces to her. I believe in what Christ said in the Book of Matthew, "Blessed are the poor in spirit of theirs is the kingdom of heaven" What good would it be for me to not share this love I have found in Christ with a woman who has been taught that the majority of hell is made of women, or that there is no relationship between God and man. I know this is the beginning of a rather interesting thing. Yeah, I agree, as well as millions of converted Muslims, that Muslims are being misled, but their devotion to God is unparrelled. Yes, they are worshipping a demon, but when the Holy Spirit convicts a heart and saves that heart, the former Muslim worships Christ with the same ferver as he worshiped Allah. I believe that her quest for truth will not go unrewarded since I didn't intentionally leave my home and go looking for a woman who happened to be a Muslim, I was too busy ducking behind rocks for that, LOLz
  8. I think Grant wrote very well! Much better than me at least :) I hope you don't feel me coming hard at you and questioning everything.. It's just that we cannot get past this to see how you should testify.. Because we see there is something else bigger to discuss and address.. It's just that we hardly see things work this way.. When in doubt, searching Scripture is the best thing to do.. And seek the Lord in prayer..
  9. I thank you both Bros in helping me, and I will keep you posted on how my relationship evolves with time. I continue to seek Christ in prayer and always will, and I ask that you also remember me in your prayers and guide me further as I will be active on this site!
    Grant Melville likes this.
  10. #10 Euphemia, Sep 16, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2015
    We do not control who God places in our lives, nor who Satan brings into our lives, but we do have the command to obey God and His word concerning who we marry.

    2 Corinthians 6:14-18
    Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? 16 And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said:

    “I will dwell in them
    And walk among them.
    I will be their God,
    And they shall be My people.”

    17 Therefore

    “Come out from among them
    And be separate, says the Lord.
    Do not touch what is unclean,
    And I will receive you.”
    18 “I will be a Father to you,
    And you shall be My sons and daughters,
    Says the Lord Almighty.”

    Bring the lady to Christ, with the aid of another female to teach that is being obedient. After that, you may seek The Lord's will.
    Grant Melville, Elizabeth Lambino and Ravindran says Amen and like this.
  11. That is not what God said, that is what Paul thought would be
    I'm sorry that you don't think it is possible, but I am seeking the Lord's will, and where are you quoting these from?
  12. Paul is one of many writers of scripture. God says it.
  13. You didn't answer my question of the last two Scriptures.
    Paul said it would be best to not marry a beliver, but so did Mohammed.
    I am stating a simple fact: it is far easier to raise your children in an equally yoked world, and yeah, God brings people to you and Satan does the same but good overrules evil and it doesn't matter who witnesses, as long as your witness is correct, and I aim to do that.
  14. All Scripture was written down by men. Does not mean it's not God's Word. I don't think it is Paul's personal opinion.. It is God's Word
    Grant Melville and Euphemia say Amen and like this.
  15. I gave the reference for the scripture I posted.

    I have no interest in what Mohammed said. He has nothing to say of any value.

    God has said for His children to not marry those who are unbelievers. This isn't just advice, but a command. He has only your best in His mind. Disobedience in this area is guaranteed trouble...every time.
    Elizabeth Lambino likes this.
  16. Yes I get this, once again, but I cannot deny how I feel about her, and it will be wrong of me to turn away because of that. I am actually rather annoyed because your forgetting the fact that love comes from God. I have spent almost two years now with her, and I am happy, and I believe that she will become a Christian on her own time, considering her foundation needs to be slowly changed.
  17. It is hard once one has submitted to romantic love, once one has decided to do so. God has warned us all through scripture about these things. Enlisting the help of another Christian female you trust to befriend and teach this young woman is beneficial and will keep you from becoming more and more entangled in her life until such time as she comes to salvation, and you hear from the Lord unmistakeably that yes, you can now pursue her for your wife.

    What wisdom that would be for you, and what a marvelous, and successful outcome can come from that kind of caution and humble obedience to God's word and will for your life!
    Grant Melville and Elizabeth Lambino say Amen and like this.
  18. I found this:
    Question: "What does it mean to be unequally yoked?"

    The phrase “unequally yoked” comes from 2 Corinthians 6:14 in the King James Version: “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” The New American Standard Version says, “Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?”

    A yoke is a wooden bar that joins two oxen to each other and to the burden they pull. An “unequally yoked” team has one stronger ox and one weaker, or one taller and one shorter. The weaker or shorter ox would walk more slowly than the taller, stronger one, causing the load to go around in circles. When oxen are unequally yoked, they cannot perform the task set before them. Instead of working together, they are at odds with one another.

    Paul’s admonition in 2 Corinthians 6:14 is part of a larger discourse to the church at Corinth on the Christian life. He discouraged them from being in an unequal partnership with unbelievers because believers and unbelievers are opposites, just as light and darkness are opposites. They simply have nothing in common, just as Christ has nothing in common with “Belial,” a Hebrew word meaning “worthlessness” (verse 15). Here Paul uses it to refer to Satan. The idea is that the pagan, wicked, unbelieving world is governed by the principles of Satan and that Christians should be separate from that wicked world, just as Christ was separate from all the methods, purposes, and plans of Satan. He had no participation in them; He formed no union with them, and so it should be with the followers of the one in relation to the followers of the other. Attempting to live a Christian life with a non-Christian for our close friend and ally will only cause us go around in circles.

    The “unequal yoke” is often applied to business relationships. For a Christian to enter into a partnership with an unbeliever is to court disaster. Unbelievers have opposite worldviews and morals, and business decisions made daily will reflect the worldview of one partner or the other. For the relationship to work, one or the other must abandon his moral center and move toward that of the other. More often than not, it is the believer who finds himself pressured to leave his Christian principles behind for the sake of profit and the growth of the business.

    Of course, the closest alliance one person can have with another is found in marriage, and this is how the passage is usually interpreted. God’s plan is for a man and a woman to become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24), a relationship so intimate that one literally and figuratively becomes part of the other. Uniting a believer with an unbeliever is essentially uniting opposites, which makes for a very difficult marriage relationship.
  19. @Anthony L. Rodrigues
    Jim and i will continue to pray for your guidance in this matter. And we trust that as you continue to seek God, then He will guide you in how to minister to her. I think that the Bible that you bought and the fact that the two of you will be reading it and studying it is a great first move. As you plant the seeds that God desires, He will cause them to grow. I have heard and believe that it is the time for many muslims to come to know Jesus. After all they are apart of Abraham's seed (from Ismael) and thus heirs to the promise of God as much as anyone else.
    In Christ
  20. Right, thank you Brothers and Sisters for your help and prayers because there is power in prayer and as Paul said, planting the seed and watering it is every Christians responsibility and He can make it grow, and yes they are and her heart is seeking the Truth in which Jesus says she is blessed for doing.
    Cturtle likes this.

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