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Accountability for Onself and when in relationship

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by Faithwoman, Feb 3, 2008.

  1. Accountability for Onself and when in relationship

    Good evening,
    I have come to you great folks here with a few questions about accountability in one's life. First and foremost , I know our accountablitly is first and foremost with God. I know that and understand that.

    Now the questions I have:

    If when in a loving relationship and a Christian relationship and one person has struggles or weaknesses and has openly admitted they need to work on that issue,
    i.e.. quitting smoking, tendency to view porn, or such should each individual have accountablility to someone else than just God?

    Is it benefecial to have an accountablility partner to keep one on track?

    Ok. I will cut to the chase and give you the real prime example.. most recently I have felt a strong conviction to be sexually pure in my life.. being 46 and not married and being in a relationship where there was sex outside of marriage, I knew had to come to an end. I know to have the full blessings of the Lord, I need to obey in all areas of life especially this one.. Is it easy? no.. possible yes..

    So I had the discussion with my boyfriend and we were both on the same page.. it is like asking the Lord to bless the relationship.. but oh by the way can you ignore Saturday night? .. So we prayed and have comitted to sexual purity in our relationship. .. now.. I am sure many of you are thinking that relationship is not going to last.. a 46 year old woman and a 50 year old man.. who were once sexual and now not..

    I ask about accountability because I know there will be huge temptations.. sexual purity is more than just not having sex.. it goes through all realms. what we think, what we see etc.. For some reason I want to think it will be easier for me than it will be for him ( after all, my father said men think about sex 24/7).

    However, I know going forward, I feel a big relief.. I no longer have to worry about some things,, but of course other thoughts come in my mind.

    I feel it would be beneficial for each of us to have accountability to someone besides the Lord.

    I also currently am struggling with quitting smoking and realize how important accountability to someone else would help. Amazingly enough, my boyfriend is not a smoker, he encourages me to quit.. and I have told him I am working on that, but he never bugs me or asks me how I am doing. He said he does not want to badger me .. he just wants to encourage me.. the thought that goes through my mind, is he does not ask or have me answer with accountablility.. because therefore I will not ask him how he is doing with his struggles.. Just being honest here..

    I appreciate you taking the time to read this and giving any thoughts and input.

  2. Do you have a close Christian lady friend to talk to? Some people do find this to be a support and a help.
  3. Having an accountability partner, other than God and other than each other, is a good thing to have. Someone you can trust to be honest. Someone who will ask you, “How are you doing?” “Are you having any temptations?” “Do you need any prayer?” etc. You could even ask a friend to call you every day… every other day… or however often you think you need them to, and ask you how you are doing.

    I too am starting a relationship and am trying to quit smoking. She was hesitant to ask how my quitting smoking was going because she has gone through that before with someone else and they said she was badgering them. I told her that I want her to ask me. I want to be held accountable. I want someone to call me on my actions if I’m doing anything wrong. I can’t do it myself, and if someone else is helping me, there is a better chance for victory.

    It’s not unlike working out. If you have a partner pushing you, you are going to get better results. Being accountable to God is good, but God will not push us. He will call us and if we decide to follow, He will lead us in the right direction, but He will never force us to do anything. If we have a friend pushing and forcing us in a certain direction, we may get mad at them and not like them for a while, but in the end, we will be very grateful for their pushing.


    P.S. So… how are you doing on the quitting smoking? :D
  4. Hey thanks you two!

    I do have a close woman friend.. and I go to a Disciple class on Sun nites and they are going to hold me accountable.

    I worry about him.. my partner.. I have asked some things of him before and he felt like I was throwing his past in his face..

    The quitting smoking thing.. well I am struggling with that one.. only because I choose to.. ..:eek:

    You see I truly believe down in my deep ole heart somewhere that God can take this from me as well... my gosh look at your testimony.. you have seen parts of mine.. if he brought us through all that.. well me oh my...

    In Romans it states treat your body as the temple given to you by the Lord.. something like that...

    So this in fact lead to the sexual purity part as well as the smoking.. some folks would tell me I am trying to do to much at once.. but let us all remember.. God does not give us more than we can handle!

    Have a super evening. Thanks again for sharing!


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