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About me

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by honestjeenn, Jun 4, 2010.

  1. About me

    Wrote this 3 years ago...

    Month of november, 9th day when a new little baby was born. Her dad named Julio while her mom’s name is Nenita. This little baby has 5 siblings, four sisters and only one brother. She was the last one, the youngest daughter in the family. The statements above tells about a girl. Though right now she’s no more a girl but a grown woman full of strength. This woman as she
    could still recall her younger years, in her childhood days, she used
    to play rag and paper dolls. She enjoyed playing already with those simple toys she had. As if eventually satisfied as what the world can just offer for her. That is what and how she lives even until now.
    The "bahay-bahayan", "patintero", "tumba preso" are those
    native childrens play in our time. I and siblings played those child’s games at daytime while hide and seek at nightime. If we are not in the mood and lazy with playing hide and seek at night, we just stood outside in the rice fields with cousins, just stay there and have our kiddies conversation while watching on the big enchanting moon or multitude sparkling stars in the sky above. When we’re
    done with our nonsense stories, we all went home, hand in hand pulling each other with a very big smile on the face. At last the night would be over again, we have to face for another day for us to play in the morning.
    Kuya john, ate josie and me, the three of us after we arrived home, still we don’t want to sleep but play with our pillows. One by one we put them all together and then the 3 of us ride on it and make our pillows as our "horse". Or rather make our own movie theater by just putting the white thin blanket hanged across the room, 2 tips of it being tied on the wall.
    One has to act, dance or make animal images, we just saw the shadow on the white thin blanket appearing thru the help of the old lamp light, "lampara" is what we call that in tagalog. Though there is no electricity yet at that time but still we able to make our own television or theater at home for entertainment(that’s how creative and resourceful we are as kids!). When we
    are all tired and no more appetite of doing those stuffs, before
    sleeping, we will ask our old maid Aunt(mama amparo) to tell us fairy tale stories. She has a lot of them, too many to mention as she had told us the story of cinderella and the 7 dwarfs, the "ibong adarna", some are about kingdoms(princes’ and princesses). Others are unknown stories never either heard from a book. One important character that I could still remember was a guy named "Pederico". Considered the most unfortunate man in the world, he had suffered so much with life. No one cares, everybody despise and
    degrade him for being poor. One day when his wealthy father abled to find him, a big break, a good twist on Pederico’s miserable life. He went to school, he became a scholar then later a very successful lawyer fighting for the poor. He never get even with those people whom ever made him down but despite, he helps them the best he can. This is the story, my Aunt told us that eventually I could never ever forget. The story is very much inspiring and it touches my heart so much! I could have relate as there were times in my life that I could be like "Pederico".Hl1151

    I have this playmate before, not a permanent playmate, in fact she just have a vacation in our place with her grandma and grandpa. She was the niece of my uncle’s wife. She was born dumb, doesn’t have the capacity to talk but I made her still as my playmate despite of her disability. One time, she had climbed up in the "jam fruit" tree leaving with me her wrist watch. I’ve waited for over 20 minutes for her to go down but since she enjoyed the picking up of the tiny fruits of the "jam fruit" tree, I need to stay until she’s done with it. Suddenly I felt something. I want to pee. I know that a dumb person couldn’t hear anything even I would do shout so I just leave without her know that I have to pee first. Before I went home in order for me to pee, I dropped by first in my uncle’s house and gave my
    playmate’s wrist watch to her grandfather. A while after, my dumb
    playmate came frowning. Before I make my sign language, she gave me her sadistic strike. I don’t want to fight with her knowing that she was a dumb. What is in my mind at that time was, I was born much fortunate than her being normal so I just let her hit me. I used to remember "Pederico" everytime I had experienced things like this. Perhaps too this is the way mom upbring us - as she taught us of not to revenge but to still do good in spite of people’s wickedness.
    I started schooling at 5 in the day care center. I was at grade 1
    before I turned 7 yrs old. I often have stars and 100’s with my alphabet writings from A to Z. Though the fact there are so many things lacking with school gadgets such as crayons, papers, notebooks, "baons" - important stuffs that I may say, NOT ENOUGH or NONE. But though I kept on coming to school just to learn new things and earn wisdom. I was being the one attentive with school
    among the 6 children. So studious and always have the ear to listen
    with teachers. I gain good grades and eventually had able to be in the highest section in my secondary years, my parents are my witnessed to tell you.
    Things that I envied much to my classmates are those new uniforms, new bags, new shoes, new notebooks and everything every start of the school year. I was often using those old ones being worn already by older sisters.I was scrapping notebooks left from the past school year and use it for the another year. I was in the section one, most of my classmates’ parents are those people who always "can afford" for everything. I often enrolled, pay my tuition fees too late and whenever have the projects, I was the last one to pass it in school. I once complained to mom of not having any cent on my
    pocket for breaktimes, I told her I just have only my saliva to just
    make my candy while looking with my classmates eating during our recess. I have said to mom things that I never meant to. That she suppose not bring me in this world if they know that they can’t afford to raise plenty of children.
    December, the holiday when people are all celebrating the season
    joyfully. My classmates as again I saw them, our neighbors, or even my cousins having those new pair of shoes, new clothes to wear, everything is new except our own. I was just being envious of having no new at all. We can’t have new and good food to eat during december because mom’s asthma is triggering due to the cold climate. How we wish to have apples, fried chicken and spagetti
    in the table but sad to say, we are always in the crisis every

    Life is really so hard whenever mom is sick. We experienced of just
    having a dish of lard and soy sauce, sugar, salt with matching water broth, fresh tomatoes and salt, shrimp paste, dried fish. Heaven for us if we have this canned goods in the table for meal. Sardines, sausages and hunts pork and beans are those foods - we consider them a nice excellent dish already.
    One time, one early morning mom commanded me to just get 3 eggs for breakfast in the store and she said she just have to pay it later, the store owner actually is our relative but since it was newly opened and no "buena mano" yet, the store owner has just sarcastically say a unpleasant remark and a "NO" because it was too early in the morning to request something of no payments.
    We’ve grown and we’ve been used of having that lifestyle… Mom is
    sick anytime of the year, whatever day, whatever month. My mom don’t have any means of income but just of vending fishes, if she had saved a little, those are just for her medicine expenses for asthma. Whew! Seem that we are being buried in the quagmire of poverty. Seem that there is no chance for us to prosper. I questioned God often on this.

    When my two sisters settled down, the oldest was the most dependent of all among us. Though she was already married, she is still fond of asking mom and dad things they needed. Requesting mom to send her mosquitonet, mat, dried fish, vegetables, everything! She doesn’t know how hard mom work for money in the market selling fishes… =(
    One had gone back in iloilo when her marriage turned miserable. Dad had doubled his time, work hard , make sure that he has a lot of percentage from the "jueteng commission" knowing that we are too many in the house and the expenses went bigger. Mom cook and sell ‘arroz caldo" but it never lasted because what she just earn is too little for that little business. My sis who went back home, who have 3 kids decided to make "kakanin" and vend it around our place. We worked altogether in order for her kids to survive whose the youngest one is just only one month old and needs to be feed of milk. We survived. But we cant even say that we have enough.

    The chance came, I abled to reach manila. I find a job, hired in a
    semiconductor company. Third one was where I was being appointed to have my training in japan for about 3 months in yamaha toyooka plant. This I consider as my biggest achievement in life. We are 3 qa’s being selected to be a part of that training in our batch in Miyatake. One of the co-qa, I just don’t know why she often would want to harass me. Oftentimes debasing me even there are a lot of people around. I got fed up sometime, she had insulted / provoked me and I eventually argued with her. One moment when a
    unexpected thing happened, while she and her friend walking to the
    lobby to catch up for the bus going home, she never noticed that her one month allowance being placed in a brown envelope dropped on the floor. I was at the back of them 5 feet far the distance. It was our payday at that time and we have received all our own amounts of money serve as an allowance for the whole month. I returned her money back without saying anything. Here appears my "pederico" like attitude again. Also, a "pederico" too with my experience with a friend of fooling me as if having a "bone cancer" but NONE as she admitted it to me later. This happened when I was in the third company working. I’ve lost strength after I knew the truth that she just lied and cheated, after all that i have helped her all the way with the best i can, i even set aside my own obligation to my family for how many months? How dare her to do that to me?!

    I resigned and decided to apply in Taiwan. Unfortunately since I have no big money for the placement I wasn’t able to pursue with my applications abroad in electronic/semiconductor industries. I applied local and eventually being hired as quality control inspector, again same job position just like in my third company. I have had hard time. Emotionally tortured for some reasons.
    I am now 33, still single. I once aspired to become a nun but by the
    moment I’ve asked mom and dad the blessing for me to get there, mom refused to, she said they still need my help. So their wish was granted.

    Second attempt to become a nun was again a failure. I think I am not meant to be in the convent. I had experienced love and being loved. But failed in relationships for about 6 times…. =( I’ve
    lost my dad just this year, he never have tasted the life we really
    wanted for him. Sigh.

    Currently, though things are not complete , things are not that easy,
    still having tough and difficult times in my life, what just made me sturdy and brave are those past experiences that made myself grow. God allowed them all to happen. I am very thankful. I know that with those miseries that I’d able to overcome, God accompanied me battling.
    This is all about me. I am the writer and author of my own life story. I’m glad that I able to spend time to write and share this one to the
    public. I will continue the chapters, there will be a lot more to discuss perhaps in the future…. =)

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