a relationship question

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by vstar, Oct 22, 2008.

  1. a relationship question


    Can I get some advices from all of you?
    I am a Christian (Charismatic), I have a Catholic boyfriend.
    Currently I am in a dilemma.

    I am quite active in my church.
    My dilemma is regarding becoming a cell leader, that my leader asked me to become.

    In other hand, my boyfriend complained that I do not give time for him to meet.
    Because we go to our own church on Sunday and sometimes Saturday I have something in the church.
    And weekdays too, we have meetings and cell group meeting.
    But I always tried my best to meet him whenever I can.
    We always meet at least once/twice a week.

    Now with this issue of becoming a cell leader, my concern is:
    1. I do not have that much time to be invested to the cell group itself.
    2. I want to concentrate on our future (marriage etc).
    We have decided to go to Catholic Charismatic Church.

    Do you think I should take the appointment to be a cell leader?
    What should I do?

  2. If you mean by cell leader(never heard of the expression before) you mean like some sort of home study group then really you have to have 100% commitment to doing that and it does not sound as if you have. On top of that you say you do not have the time anyway, so saying no seems like the most sensible choice.

    hope this helps:groupray:
  3. techie .... Here in Canada , we have cell groups that are connected with the church. And yes I would say they are like home Bible Study groups .

    Now to answer the question . First , I think you need to do some serious praying about it . Ask God if this is the dirrection He wants you to go .

    Second your boyfirend needs to understand that God is first in your life and he comes second.

    Third if you cannot commit yourself to being the leader that God wants you to be then decline at this moment.

    May I ask if your boyfirend has accepted Jesus as Lord and Saviour of his life ? If he has not then it would be advisable for you to forgo marriage until he has as otherwise there will always be conflict between the two of you. Because we are told in the Bible to not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever.
  4. God will always be here.if you read Jesus about leaving church to reconsile a dispute you will know God would not stop you having time with your guy.it is up to you.:)
  5. That is great advice Mom! If we want a relationship that will withstand the storms of life then Christ should always be first. When a man and a woman love Christ first and foremost they truly know how to love each other the way God intended.
  6. Vstar: we will be praying about this for you .:groupray:

    It sounds to me like the Lord may be grooming you for teaching ministry. That is wonderful. Just think about how you feel being used by God in this manner. When we are single, we are "free" to serve the Lord but once we are married; we are to serve our husbands as unto the Lord.

    When we are single; it may seem nice that our special someone want to be with us...even telling us that we "have to give up" something so they could have more time with us. It may not feel this way AFTER you are married. Once married, either spouse could become jealous and not wanting their spouse to spend so much time in ministry activities; especially if it doesn't include them. This could cause the "more ministry minded" spouse to feel very resentful that their spouse has been so demanding that they "give up" ministry to be with them. This would only "get worse" with more demands forthcoming.

    Your word "complained" is a BIG RED FLAG...to me. :eek:

    You asked should you take the appointment as cell group leader; I say "Yes, if the Lord is calling you and He appears to be doing so"...How will marriage be with him if he has this attitude toward ministry now? Until we say "I do", we DON'T!!!;) Take care of yourself and take this matter to prayer; the Lord will direct you if you are willing to be led by Him.
  7. red flag to me too worshiper :)

    I suggest we know what dusty said, is your bf is a Christ believer?

    secondly, if you are younger than 20 then you should not even be with a bf and doing things with him alone unless the parents know and you do not do things that are bad in the eyes of God before marriage.
    thirdly, take it to the parents before going to marriage or dating or etc.. :)
  8. hi all...

    thank you so much for the replies...
    i am so confused.. well I am over 20 and actually my age is just right to get married, my family knows about me and him and they are supporting us to get married soon.

    My boyfriend has accepted Jesus as His Savior but maybe he is not into ministries, he is still in the progress of learning the word of God.

    Actually I have said no to him (my cell leader) because I could not commit myself and i think it's not good to take the appointment if i can't even commit myself. But since he is moving and he said that there is no other candidate therefore he asked me to reconsider. And I do not know if I still have the passion for this group anymore.. because it is a youth group and I was actually thinking to move to the Catholic Charismatic church and hope to grow there together with my boyfriend.

    Now I'm kinda confused with the priority.
    As far as I know, the first priority is God, second is family then third is work/study then ministry.
    However i am not sure if it's relationship (boyfriend) is in which priority? And as we are going into marriage, could it be considered as family?

    Please help me pray.....
    Thank you so much....
    I am glad that you all are replying my thread and giving me suggestions.
  9. Again...do not be pressured into anything you do not feel comfortable doing. if hes leaving then it is up to him to find the right replacement, not the most conveniant and at just over 20 I would personally find that a little young to be in charge of what your talking about, you'd need more experiance first. it is your current leaders problem...not yours.
  10. Sister.. I have a feeling you're putting your bf first... first before God..

    do you also feel that? please be honest:(

    ps: which church are you in now?
  11. Ramsey...would you mind explaining how saying no to a study group is putting someone b4 God...her saying no does not make her any less a christian. All I see is her being pressured into something she has neither the time nor the will to do...could this not be God saying he has better things for her?:)
  12. My sister you are in my prayers, may the Lord guide your steps.
  13. If she is saying 'no' to being a cell leader for more time with her bf,I guess it'd be constituted as putting her bf before God because unless they use the time to serve the Lord together,it means more time for her bf and less time for God..

    Ps; if you make time for God,everything else will eventually fall into place. Let your life be God centered,not man centered.

    I'll be praying for you sister :groupray:
  14. If you have no peace about it, I'd pass.

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