A Poll for wives

Discussion in 'Marriage and Relationships' started by PreciousInHisEyes, May 27, 2015.

  1. I was curious what is a general reality that other Christian wives experience here, in certain areas. If you take it, I sure would appreciate seeing I am or I am not experiencing out of the norm experiences, that are generally true that God has to take care of.

    On a scale from 1 - 10. 1 being not at all and 10 being extremely so.

    If I was to take a poll, what would the response be?

    1. Do you trust your husband to tell you the truth?
    2. Does your husband make fun of you, either privately, or to others?
    3. Does your husband take others' sides (on a regular basis) against you?
    4. Does you husband defend you - does he have your back?
    5. Does your husband allow you to take the blame for his wrongs?
    6. Does your husband try to live out at home what he is in public?
    7. Does your husband show sorrow when he has hurt or mistreated you?
    8. Does you husband try to make things right when he knows he's disrespected you?

    Sarah in the Bible "did what was right" when she was afraid, and submitted to ther husband. The Bible tells all men not to be harsh with their wives. I want to see if harshness, and mistreatment/unkindness is the universal norm, or not, for even Christian men. This is not a rant, or an invitation to men-bash. I'm just curious if it is in the male psyche to do certain things that seem extreme to the rest of us, and to know whether to worry about these things - or not. Is this something God has to work out of all men, and what should wives do when mistreated - scripturally? Should we let ourselves be a doormat, submit? Doesn't that only ask for more mistreatment - if the fella is a bit of a bully, operating with no conscience? Do we separate and opt for temporary change that goes back to the way it was because the heart of the man is still wrong?
  2. I do know that there are many abusive relationships, and this is not meant to say that kind of behavior is in anyway acceptable. If a husband is continually doing those things, he needs to get some counseling and maybe you both need some joint counseling. But there are many relationships that are fundamentally sound, but have gotten off course.

    I am a husband, not a wife, so I'll pass your poll, but I will admit that there have been times when my wife could wish to take a poll like this.

    What is truly something to consider: those were the same times I would have considered taking a poll concerning the treatment of husbands by their wives. Some of the times that I thought I was being patient and long suffering and waiting for my prettier half to act the way I thought she should (and she was waiting, or demanding, that I act the way she thought I should).

    This is a hard dynamic to end. Each must take more notice of what the other does right and less of their failings. It is good to let the other know what hurts, but not in the heat of anger, and not without understanding and a desire (more than willingness) to find a middle ground of agreement. Do not get caught into the trap of trying to weigh who is giving more or who is getting less.

    I am still sometimes insensitive (and we have been married 37 years) and occasionally I hurt her unintentionally, as she does me. It is because we care so much for each other that makes these things hurtful.

    This is the person that has seen my lowest and most miserable points and still remains, and the one that has taken care of me in most needful periods. I need to give (and get) the respect she and I deserve.

    Confess your feelings, and your missteps to the Lord, individually, and in prayer together, and ask the Lord's help. It is truly amazing to hear the one you love pray for your benefit.

    Study together and worship together, both in church and at home. Our Lord can bring peace between two of His own.

    Marriage is one of the most difficult things and one of the most rewarding things.
    Cturtle likes this.
  3. 10
    10 My husband is the same outside the home as he is in the home.

    Now this all looks as if it is utopia around here! It isn't, but my husband is a loving servant, and I am the one who has to continually keep myself in check, being the recipient of his kindness and goodness, that I do not take him for granted. I am also the one who has to continually encourage him to stand up and be counted, as he is very self-effacing. We are polar opposites and that is what makes for a good partnership.
    Mykuhl likes this.
  4. I wish to take a different approach to your post.
    As there are many scriptures concerning marriages....i think the most important thing to point out is walking in love (according to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7) and forgiveness. The other thing that is very important is to constantly be speaking in faith how you desire your spouse to behave.

    Meaning if you want someone who is cranky to continue to be cranky and treating you incorrectly then that is what you speak (by complaining to God or just muttering under your breath).....but if you desire for a peaceful spouse (not just for yourself and how you are treated, but because you love them and desire for their peace of mind as well, and for their joy)...even though they are cranky...then you pray and speak God's Words of peace and joy and grace over them....at the same time walking in love and forgiveness towards them. If need be...go to the Word and pray (in your prayer time) some scriptures over them.....admonishing and washing them with the water of the Word. If you don't know any.....ask God to direct you to ones that He wants you to pray and speak over them.

    Being submissive and non confrontational is being a peace maker according to the Word....and when we walk in God's love towards our spouses....then it opens up doors and makes changes in the "cranky one" that we just cannot do on our own. It's relying on the power of God, now our own.

    Loving our spouses is the most selfish thing we can do....because we receive what we have been given.

    Fish Catcher Jim and Euphemia say Amen and like this.

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