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7th grader hooked on pornography

Discussion in 'Family and Parenting' started by Mark, Aug 31, 2010.

  1. 7th grader hooked on pornography

    After giving a Cyber Safety Seminar a mom in the audience told me of her 7th grade daughter's conversation at lunch a few weeks prior. One of the 7th grade boys admitted that he could not stop looking at "dirty pictures" on the internet.

    This always saddens me, especially with so many good filters available for very little money and so very effective.

    Of course we know of so many 7th graders who make life altering poor decisions at 12 and 13. From smoking to drinking, drugs and a host of addictions that are ready to pounce on our children - even before they are a teenager.

    I always wonder why parents do not protect their young men and women.
  2. try society stop being sick with lust,just like baalam casting women infront of israel=world throwing women at christians...same play same results.
  3. I've learned it's hard to stop people - including children - from doing what they want. Filters actually don't work as well as one might think. There a hundreds of ways to go around them so they're only for people whose children aren't well-versed with computers and how to break down filters.
  4. Near, that's right .

    Providing positive alternate options is much better .
  5. now that makes sense,seems the world is focused on sex.or gangs etc all in there little sects.
  6. I think we can do much more than a lick and a prayer when it comes to protecting our children.

    100% agree with providing alternatives, but unless you take the computer away all together, tht only limits the time they would spend on their addiction.

    Certainly putting computers in a public area is helpful.

    But the real accountability comes from a filter. Honestly, they are far more powerful than before. You can get an email of every site your child goes to. Some filters are very powerful and are used in marriages for men that are addicted. If you go to my site at cybersafetyseminar.com you can find out more about filters.

    Any parents of elementary through high school boys want to let us know what they are doing to protect their sons? I would love to hear from you.
  7. it is sad to hear that
    Porn or dirty picture on the internet is now like a fashion. Most young people just keep
    This is a program one of my pals use which will stop every image from showing. it is quite a powerful system since it works underground.
    all the pictures are screened. You can forward it to the woman in question
  8. Re computers and kids. I sometimes use a couple of computer forums and it's not that uncommon to find a teenager specifying, building, installing, managing and maintaining machines for their pretty computer illiterate parents.
  9. I guess that is one of the big problems. computer illiterate parents so they find it difficult to sometimes work with simple programs on the computer and the kids are so are brilliant with these computer stuffs
    but as usual filters are some ways of starting the process and creating strict administrative rules on the computer. for instance i can make my computer in a way that no one can change any setting or install, browse without my permission.
    Long process for computer illitrate parents i guess.
    We have to pray
  10. That's depressing :/
  11. allani, how do you know this software author?
  12. actually it has a free download to test and these days i just download, try, download and try. nice thing about these free downloads. you just test and test but it is not bad.But I guess there are other programs out there. I just like the interface of this one
    And after looking into things, I even think its not software that will solve the issue. The core values of the family is being affected and that is causing the children to do that. The foundation is under attack and no matter what we used to patch it, the problem will appear again :(
  13. I always find it interesting to make an argument that says "if we cannot stop it all - we should not try to stop it." The truth of the matter is that internet filters are VERY powerful and do stop most pornography. Where they become trouble is when parents don't know how to use them. I think every Christian parent should take 2 hours and learn how filters work before they get their children a computer.

    I have several filters listed and one free one for parents to take a look at on my http://CyberSafetySeminar.com website. You can see the filters here:
    Computer Filters

    But filters do not replace a parents presence and loving rules and limits. Oh I wish every parent would read my simple, free 54 page booklet on Loving Limits. You can download it for free at colossians2.com!
    gapeach likes this.
  14. If anyone is interested, for March 2011 SafeEyes is giving a 50% discount on their software if you order through CyberSafetySeminar.com. You can go to the website for more info and the discount code.
  15. The responsibility of the parent is great. The reason God choose Abraham was to do with the spiritual maturity to lead his children after God.

    Gen 18:19

    For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.

    God expects us to be able to lead our children and train them in the ways of God. This can only be done by example. Children have the ability to observe parents and know our double standards.
    Unless you are living a red hot life after God, you will fail in parenting and satan will come and kill steal and destroy.
    Too many parents are spiritually imature to handle their children.

    This is why most pastors have trouble with their children. They preach and preach but do not demonstrate the life of a christian.
    gapeach likes this.
  16. I think parents can monitor their kids and add rules and software for accountability (xxx church has great free resources for it) but our sinful nature will always try to take control of our lives.

    Proverbs 6:23-28: "23 For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life, 24 keeping you from the immoral woman, from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife. 25 Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, 26 for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life. 27 Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? 28 Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched?"
  17. Alegator, of course our sinful nature will always try to take control. Even before there were pictures, there was sin - and sexual sin. But with the research on the effects of pornography and with the new type of "direct distribution" technology provides I think we would be very, very foolish to think that this temptation has not increased many, many fold and the lives it has destroyed has also increase many, many fold.

    One industry that has increased by 7% each of the last 4 recession years here in the US is the sexually addicted counseling field! There is no denying this "trap" has worked well on both Christians and non-Christians.

    I don't have time, but the research is clear that males are attracted to the sight of naked bodies. If you watch an 11 year old boy look at a picture with many people and on naked person 100% of the time he will zero in on a naked person in the picture. This has been shown multiple times in multiple studies. There is a God given "drive" for intimacy that can be abused (as with all God given gifts!) Now that photographs make it easy to fulfill the lusts of the flesh we have to work extra hard to battle this flesh!

    The other HUGE problem is the direct distribution of materials right to kids. In my day, everything I read (remember books?), watched (only had TV and movies - nothing else), listened to (records and radio) and those I talked to (phone was attached to the wall, most conversations were within ear shot of adults) was all under the scrutiny of my parents or an accountable adult. If a radio station tried to play something inappropriate everyone got up in arms and typically that radio announcer was fired! But today our kids are reading, watching, listening, and talking without any parent or responsible adult monitoring what is going on. First, because there is just too much stuff being produced and second because the delivery of this is through technology that the child holds in his hand and he does not have to be near a parent or adult.

    This is a HUGE shift that is very, very dangerous. Every day I read more and more about horrifying "discoveries" where kids have gotten themselves into huge trouble or have fallen victim to the three eyed monster (illegal, injurious or inappropriate.) Parents simply CANNOT monitor like they used to. It simply is not possible! Either they need to get rid of the phones, mp3 players, TVs, internet, etc. or they need to use tools and tactics (read - not only use filters!) to keep the kids in check!

    I have now listened to dozens and dozens of heartbroken parents. Here are the stories I have heard PERSONALLY from parents:
    - we left our church after my daughter posted a sexually inappropriate picture of herself on a social network. She went to take it down less than an hour later, but the boys in the church had copied it and passed it around to everyone.
    - my son quick college because he sent a naked picture of himself via picture messaging to someone he thought was a girl. He was threatened and extorted. He was so embarrassed and horrified because he went to a Bible College, he just quit.
    - my young son has come across pornography multiple times, I don't even know how he stumbles upon it.
    - my seventh grade son is addicted to pornography - we have caught him multiple times
    - my college aged son said he simply cannot stop viewing pornography. He got addicted when he visited his father's house and now he cannot stop. He says God does not love him otherwise He would help him stop, so the Christian faith is simply not worth it anymore - all he feels is guilt.
    - the free simple filters don't work, my 3rd grade son prides himself in getting them to crash - I can only hope he does not go anywhere he is not supposed to
    - Christian school teachers tell me they used to fight swearing and sexual content in the 7th through 9th grades, but now they fight it in the 3rd - 5th grades

    Anyone who thinks this is not an all out war is simply mistaken! I honestly believe Satan is laughing at Christians who continue to keep there heads in the sand. It is time we wake up and take a stand and use the tools that are available to us.

    Sure, there is the occasional "hell bent" child that is going to get into this stuff no matter what, but I feel like we are throwing all the kids over board because a few will slip off the bow. Christian parents need to step up and take this seriously.

    Already we have statistics that say 94% of Christian high school students viewed pornography in the last year. I guarantee you it was NOT that high when I was in high school. We did not know where to get it if we wanted. There was a wall we had to "climb" to get it. But no more. There is not only no wall - but it is streamed into bedrooms around our country 24/7!

    May God help us all! May God bless and equip parents to take a stand!
  18. Though TV is becoming passe, there are a lot of similarities in how problems arise. See "Your Child and Your TV" on my website, www.mikesnow.org
  19. I think software is a great tool, but looking over the shoulder is even better.

    My son is 12 and I constantly monitor what he is doing on the internet.
  20. That is definitely right adonaicole
    It all starts with the parents. Filters should not replace parenthood

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