Discussion in 'Humor' started by Boanerges(Inactive), May 4, 2008.
21 Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
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Let’s face it English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?
Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn’t a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
Yah ,that's right and if must be so difficult for those from other countries. I am just thinking about my little friend God's Child from Russia, who just recently asked some grammar questions on the discussion forum. I even had a hard time answering her and had to think and I hope I gave her the right answers cause she is writing an English exam.
Don't tell anyone but I saw that question and avoided answering because I was not 100% certain.
Oh so what do you think .... Did I do it right ?
Looked right to me
Thanks.... I Hope she got a good mark. Anyways got to run going now to church. Have a great day in the Lord. God Bless.
Working hard is a good thing. Yet to hardly work ...
Ok ..... Got some more.
]EVER WONDER ...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?,
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff's
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Good ones Dusty..lol
Well, I don't probably find English as funny as you... I have a hard times with it. It's quite funny... I study Eng at University and I found that when I need some advice about English grammar it is useless to ask a native speaker. If I ask one, he is suprised more than me
Just for fun:
Why London Bridge, but THE London Library?
Why Mount Everest, but THE Mount of Olives?
Why passerS-by, but take-offS?
Why THE Times, but Newsweek?
Why Lake Baikal, but THE Pacific?
Why Cambridge, but THE Hague?
And, you see, these mysteries were just about articles... in Czech we don't have any articles:sad01_anim:
I find English really strange, but lovely
I love the airplane one...I think common people got a lot more smarts than the people who are actually making these things.