Adult A.D.D. - Page 2

CSchultz · 03-29-2008, 04:13 AM

Violet, I didn't know you were going through a divorce, and I posted my last comment before I read that.

First, keep talking to your doctor. The internet is no place for guidance, seek a professional.

That being said, you made a few comments that you might want to think about....

Quote:

I believe my ADD is what destroyed my marriage.

Quote:

I have been a burden on my entire family and I know I have

Quote:

I have let them all down.

Violet, when things go wrong, or the way we don't want them to, the first thing we do is try to find something to blame it on.
You have blamed things on yourself. You could have blamed things on money, or weather, or your location, or your husbands boss, or ADD, but you selected yourself.

May I suggest that you blame things on something else?
Pick a tree out back, and blame it. ....... Now go take an axe and cut that trouble making chunck of satanic wood to the ground!

Then, remember, that you haven't let anyone down. You have done your best. Trust in God, and talk with the people closest to you. Listen to them, and tell them how much you care, and remind them that you love them, even if you do not always agree. Just make things right.

You can do that!

Who am I · 03-29-2008, 04:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by violet

Bonnie, oh my heavens, I feel so bad for your husband.

I am glad he has been blessed with a wife such as you.

I have talked to my Dr. about meds and he put me on antidepressants which do nothing for me.
I do take meds for panic attacks. I pray that I will overcome all this and have to take nothing but my thyroid medicine.
The problem, as you know, is that I am going through a divorce now and I believe my ADD is what destroyed my marriage.
I have been a burden on my entire family and I know I have, I don't blame them for being angry with me.

I have let them all down.

I hope I don’t sound too harsh, but you need to stop thinking like that. It isn’t your fault you have ADD.
I was engaged to be married quite a few years ago. I had two operations for cancer and went through a whole summer of chemotherapy. Right towards the end, my ex fiancé told me she didn’t love me anymore. I just don’t think she wanted to deal with my cancer and the fact that I was tested as being sterile. (it was testicular cancer) It wasn’t my fault, and your having ADD isn’t your fault.

I don’t much care for the “burden” idea either. I think our modern day society puts too much emphasis on who is a “burden”. If more people would take a little time helping others, no one person would ever have to do very much. It’s all about sacrifice. If everyone would sacrifice a little bit, everyone would be better off. And as far as a marriage is concerned. Husbands are suppose to love their wives as Christ loves the Church. And what did Christ do for the Church? He died for the Church. To me… it’s all about sacrifice. I don’t think He was happy when He did it. He even asked His Father to let the cup pass from His hands if it is possible. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but He did it anyway. He sacrificed everything for His bride. If a husband is suppose to love his wife like Christ loves the Church, why shouldn’t a husband sacrifice everything if necessary?

Anyway, don’t beat yourself up. It’s not your fault.
And remember, you will always be a part of the bride of Christ and He will always be at your side. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He’s right there with you now… ask Him to hold you… He’ll be more than happy to do that.

May God bless you more than anyone.
Dean

violet · 03-29-2008, 04:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CSchultz

We had a very bad ice storm two months ago. Everything was by lamp light for a few days, we ate rabbit and veneson cooked on the grill, no computer or TV, no radio, hot water had to be cooked on the grill, so we were reminded of conservation.

It was very hard at first. (Silly things like flipping on the light switch when you went to the bathroom)

Soon, we became much closer. "I'm going to go outside and boil some water, is there anything you need while I'm at it?"

Stuff like that. We made shadow puppets by the light of a candle one night. We slept on one bed, under a pile of blankets, like they did in Jesus time.

ADD may be a symptom of modern reality in my personal opinion.

Violet, perhaps, just perhaps, you might want to see if you can find a few days to get away from everything, except God, your family, and yourself. You may discover that the ADD is really just a symptom of your lifestyle.

And if not, a few days making shadow puppets, and bathing in a bowl never hurt anybody!

Thank you, CS,
I am getting away but it's not temporary.
If there is one thing I would say, it would be to anyone living with a person with ADD....
Please educate yourself.
You have no idea what a person goes through.
And please never judge them because they don't do things 'normal' like you think they should be done.
Find out WHY they behave the way they do, don't criticize them. Don't make them feel inferior or worthless then make fun of them and accuse them of being a victim.
I certainly don't feel sorry for myself; I am angry with myself.

violet · 03-29-2008, 04:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CSchultz

Violet, I didn't know you were going through a divorce, and I posted my last comment before I read that.

First, keep talking to your doctor. The internet is no place for guidance, seek a professional.

That being said, you made a few comments that you might want to think about....

Violet, when things go wrong, or the way we don't want them to, the first thing we do is try to find something to blame it on.
You have blamed things on yourself. You could have blamed things on money, or weather, or your location, or your husbands boss, or ADD, but you selected yourself.

May I suggest that you blame things on something else?
Pick a tree out back, and blame it. ....... Now go take an axe and cut that trouble making chunck of satanic wood to the ground!

Then, remember, that you haven't let anyone down. You have done your best. Trust in God, and talk with the people closest to you. Listen to them, and tell them how much you care, and remind them that you love them, even if you do not always agree. Just make things right.

You can do that!

Thank you so much just for understanding.
The thing is, my entire family says I blame everyone but myself.
I admit, I am resentful that I am not understood by them though I have tried to express my heart to them all.
They say I am feeling sorry for myself.
I am angry that I never got the proper treatment and that IS my fault but I was too overwhelmed to know what to do!

violet · 03-29-2008, 04:41 AM

Actually, all I knew to do was pray and I did and do always.

I know God is with me.

I am sorry that my children have suffered and are angry with me.

I am on the road to recovery very soon and I believe that is God's plan.

adonaicole · 03-29-2008, 02:18 PM

I am praying for you Violet, to have peace in your heart. Do not play the blame game (especially not yourself). Just pray like you have been and trust in him, he is your rock and your fortress. As long as you are trusting in him, you are standing on solid ground, no matter what your circumstances may seem like. Do not ever feel like a failure, for you are very successful in blessing us, with your art and beautiful spirit.

P.S. I've been accused of having a few "blonde" moments myself...

Boanerges · 03-29-2008, 03:17 PM

Here is food for thought and food for your brain:

Vitamin B complex (and B12) in particular are great for concentration, producing energy and fighting depression. You will feel a difference.
Another thing that will make a discernible impact is a regular dose of liquid minerals. The stuff tastes nasty but our bodies are seriously lacking in this department and this really helps. It seems the topsoil in so over farmed that there is simply no real nutrition left in our food. This lack of nutrients manifests in many infirmities in our bodies.

Housesitter · 03-29-2008, 08:25 PM

Violet, having treated countless children, teenagers and adults with ADD over the years I can give you an assurance that you have nothing to feel guilty about.
It is a physical / biochemical problem and not the fault of the person with the condition!
Do not allow the enemy to put false guilt on you!

violet · 04-07-2008, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adonaicole

I am praying for you Violet, to have peace in your heart. Do not play the blame game (especially not yourself). Just pray like you have been and trust in him, he is your rock and your fortress. As long as you are trusting in him, you are standing on solid ground, no matter what your circumstances may seem like. Do not ever feel like a failure, for you are very successful in blessing us, with your art and beautiful spirit.

P.S. I've been accused of having a few "blonde" moments myself...

Don,
I thank you so much for your confidence in me and your prayers.

violet · 04-07-2008, 06:41 PM

Dean,
Thank you,
your words were very meaningful for me~

03-29-2008, 04:41 AM	#15 (permalink)
violet Join Date: May 2007 Location: England Posts: 8,162 Blog Entries: 13 Rep Power: 10	Actually, all I knew to do was pray and I did and do always. I know God is with me. I am sorry that my children have suffered and are angry with me. I am on the road to recovery very soon and I believe that is God's plan. __________________ Violet Matthew 10:38 ....he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.

03-29-2008, 02:18 PM	#16 (permalink)
adonaicole Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Stevenson, WA Posts: 532 Blog Entries: 1 Rep Power: 1	I am praying for you Violet, to have peace in your heart. Do not play the blame game (especially not yourself). Just pray like you have been and trust in him, he is your rock and your fortress. As long as you are trusting in him, you are standing on solid ground, no matter what your circumstances may seem like. Do not ever feel like a failure, for you are very successful in blessing us, with your art and beautiful spirit. P.S. I've been accused of having a few "blonde" moments myself... __________________ Love one another, for that is pure, undefiled religion. Don

03-29-2008, 03:17 PM	#17 (permalink)
Boanerges Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: St Rose LA Posts: 14,935 Blog Entries: 3 Rep Power: 16	Here is food for thought and food for your brain: Vitamin B complex (and B12) in particular are great for concentration, producing energy and fighting depression. You will feel a difference. Another thing that will make a discernible impact is a regular dose of liquid minerals. The stuff tastes nasty but our bodies are seriously lacking in this department and this really helps. It seems the topsoil in so over farmed that there is simply no real nutrition left in our food. This lack of nutrients manifests in many infirmities in our bodies. __________________ Love, in the final analysis, is wisdom. --E.W. Kenyon

03-29-2008, 08:25 PM	#18 (permalink)
Housesitter Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: England Posts: 2,846 Rep Power: 3	Violet, having treated countless children, teenagers and adults with ADD over the years I can give you an assurance that you have nothing to feel guilty about. It is a physical / biochemical problem and not the fault of the person with the condition! Do not allow the enemy to put false guilt on you! __________________ Ray Enjoy a rent free holiday with Christian House Sitters www.christian-housesitters.com

04-07-2008, 06:41 PM	#20 (permalink)
violet Join Date: May 2007 Location: England Posts: 8,162 Blog Entries: 13 Rep Power: 10	Dean, Thank you, your words were very meaningful for me~ __________________ Violet Matthew 10:38 ....he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.

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