But I feel really jealous of people who are able to receive dreams and visions from God and prophecy....they get to have God with them every step of the way and then theres people like me who are kinda left to their own resources..who dont hear God ,feel him or anything like that.
It makes me feel like something is wrong with me as a Christian or if I didnt go through enough trauma or whatever to be privilege enough to talk to God as intimately as some do...because when I see people who operate in those gifts...they usually...or at least in my experience have had a hard life...and I always thougbt that was Gods special way of making it up to them.
But i just thought of this as I was drawing ...and giving my character a similar ability and as I read about peoples awesome experience...it just makes me wonder that.
Like I just wonder why it seems some people are kept at an arms length from God and others are able to be in his bosom.
It makes me feel like..maybe because I didnt have abusive parents,been mistreated physically,sexually or whatever... I dont live in a third world country,I eat everyday and I work..and have a car... Maybe Ive been blessed enough already... You know ...and maybe god doesnt need to talk to me like he does with others...because I have tried but I get tired of hearing silence
I'm not mad at God...I'm greatful for the normal life I have...I was just wondering that. Is all
It makes me feel like something is wrong with me as a Christian or if I didnt go through enough trauma or whatever to be privilege enough to talk to God as intimately as some do...because when I see people who operate in those gifts...they usually...or at least in my experience have had a hard life...and I always thougbt that was Gods special way of making it up to them.
But i just thought of this as I was drawing ...and giving my character a similar ability and as I read about peoples awesome experience...it just makes me wonder that.
Like I just wonder why it seems some people are kept at an arms length from God and others are able to be in his bosom.
It makes me feel like..maybe because I didnt have abusive parents,been mistreated physically,sexually or whatever... I dont live in a third world country,I eat everyday and I work..and have a car... Maybe Ive been blessed enough already... You know ...and maybe god doesnt need to talk to me like he does with others...because I have tried but I get tired of hearing silence
I'm not mad at God...I'm greatful for the normal life I have...I was just wondering that. Is all