NoDoubt

Hey, all! I browsed through the forum a bit, and it seems like a wonderful place. I sincerely desire some form of Christian fellowship, and I suspect it's me, but the church's here in Southern California don't seem to like me very much. So, I hope to find it here. I seem to do better in forums than in "real-life" anyway.

A bit about me, I was raised by Christian parents. They were saved and all, but they, in kinder words, have told me they screwed me up. They try hard, and have good intentions, and I harbor little bitterness against them (I can't seem to get rid of bitterness for good... Keeps popping up). But I moved across the country and have grown tremendously on my own.

In fact, by the grace of God, I've learned a good deal of things that my parents shared their regret of not instilling in me back home. I've overcome suicidal tendencies, smoking, drinking (for the most part), and increased my willpower. I haven't overcome social ineptitude, however...

Anyways... Umm... Wow, I'm depressing, huh? Well... That's what I hope to change. I've been trying to read my Bible, but I never know what I'm supposed to learn, as so much of it is so familiar. I can honestly say I'm better now than I ever have been in my life, and I hope I can find somewhere I can be honest, and grow as a result. If textual fellowship is the best I can do, than that is exactly what I will do. So, hope I haven't scared anyone off, already...

Mary17

Hey NoDoubt, nice to have you with us! If you need support, you got it buddy. Afterall we are all brothers and sisters in Christ.

~Don't look down on yourself~

IOACW

Hi neighbor!
I know exactly what your talkin about. I was just telling my wife last Sunday after church that nobody seems to like me very much. If ya want to IM/PM me I can let ya know where I go. They have 1 location in the Long Beach area and 1 in Downey. I go to Downey; that one just opened on Easter Sunday. I don't know if you're denomination specific, but this place is really accepting and friendly. I have a checkered past myself with the depression, etc., etc., and I find it hard to fit in. Let's talk!

__________________
Thanks and God Bless,
Jody,
aka IOACW


So let's do it; full of belief, confident that we're presentable inside and out. Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps His word. Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:22-25 The Message

Boanerges

Good morning NoDoubt, you are very welcome here!
As far as churches go there is someting I would like to share with you- most christians I have met are still spiritual babies, they are so wrapped up in their own problems they don't even think to look around and see who else may need a little love- this is not a condemnation but a fact. As I often say " a church is a hospital for souls" and you are very likely to meet alot of wounded and messed up folks there- again not a condemnation for if a person is hurting and wounded ( or even hypocritical) there is no better place to get set free. We should never use this as an excuse to " forsake the assembling of the brethren" for our Father commands us to "love ye one another even as I have loved you". God loved us when we were unlovely and He wants us to do the same. Pray and ask God were He wants you to be, He will give you wisdom.
As far as reading the scriptures Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to be your teacher so when reading your Word ask the Holy Spirit to speak to your heart and show you what God has for you in His Word today- you will be amazed at the difference.
Then there is that issue with bitterness- we are commanded to forgive if we need to be forgiven-we are to give as much grace as we need- sometimes those thoughts keep coming back- how do we deal with this? Try praying this- Father I come to You in the Name of Jesus- I choose to forgive my Mom and Dad , I know they meant well and had struggles of their own- if they were walking in full knowledge of Your love and goodness they would have done differently. I pray You help them to be set free in any areas they are still in bondage - I release them to You and receive my healing now in Jesus Name.
Anytime those old thoughts come back to test your heart simply respond with - I forgive my parents and bless them in Jesus Name- God's Word declares we can be defiled thru bitterness and it is something best placed in our Fathers hands.
Depressing no, it is good to be honest about our problems- but I leave you with this- if we focus on our problems they get bigger and bigger- if we focus on our Jesus they seem less and less important until they simply loose their power over us at all -I always liken it to driving a car- if your gaze is turned to the left eventually that is the direction you car will go- let us focus on Jesus and He will supply the course- many blessings on your day- in His Name Larry

IOACW

Amen Larry! Very well put.

__________________
Thanks and God Bless,
Jody,
aka IOACW


So let's do it; full of belief, confident that we're presentable inside and out. Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps His word. Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:22-25 The Message

NoDoubt

Hey Boanerges, thanks for the reply! I understand what you say about Churches. I'm still trying to find one nearby me.

I pray before and after reading the Bible, and I learn little lessons, but I can never seem to find the answers I so desperately seek. In exasperation, I tend to fail in applying the lessons I did learn from my reading. I'm going to start taking notes when I read, starting as soon as I'm done repying on this forum.

I've also prayed those prayers of forgiveness. I've forgiven my parents, asked forgiveness of God for the feelings I had against them, and generally I'm fine. My mind tends to be bombarded every now and then with thoughts from the enemy, and I forget to pray them away. I'll fight them mentally, try to distract myself, and... I just forget to do it the right way. I guess I need to work on my absent-mindedness.

Boanerges

Just draw close to your Father NoDoubt He is the source of all your healing and the fount of all wisdom- I am confindent things will work out sooner than you think- Larry

smellycat

this is good you are similar to me you can,asses your thoughts and throw bad thoughts away,without getting upset in mind games.i was getting bombarded with thoughts which were nomsicle.so i just said to myself these are not my thoughts and i fight rubbish thoughts daily.self annylising myself too much but hey im not getting brainwashed again.

NoDoubt

I'm doing all I know how to draw closer to Him, for sure. I hope you're right, because right now I have a grim outlook, but high hopes...

Learning that any negative thought was not my own, and then actively battling these mental invasions was a life changing lesson for me. Sounds like we are on the right track, bro!

Boanerges

Some see the giants but lets you and me see the grapes brother- God promise is always good so we will enter His rest togeather