God's_Child

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"For God ... giveth grace to the humble".
(1Pe.5:5)
"Grace be with all them that love our Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity. Amen".
(Eph.6:24)

Ben

I don't think I chose to bury this, I think it was buried in my mind as a child because of the horribleness of it, and it only surfaced after the flashback. God dealt with it then.

Ben

Boanerges

It is often an unconscience defense mechanism or so I am told. Still the Holy Spirit knows- I find He peels me one layer at a time like an onion on this journey of discovery.

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Anything that dims my vision for Christ, or takes away my taste for Bible study, or cramps me in my prayer life, or makes Christian work difficult, is wrong for me; and I must, as a Christian turn away from it. – J. Wilbur Chapman

revlynn

Hi Ben,

I'm also new here - this is my first post. Great to read your testimony. I had a similar experience. My childhood was full of mental, emotional and physical abuse from my mother (not her fault - she had an horrific childhood herself, and I really believe was suffering serious mental illness, which back in those days was not recognized as it is today.) Anyway, through it all Dad had been my hero. I had received a huge amount of healing since I was saved, and pretty much thought everything had been dealt with - then one day, out of the blue, comes this memory of witnessing Dad almost beating Mum to death when I was about 5.

It really rattled my world for a while, but looking back I realize that I had Dad on a little too high a pedestal - idolized him in quite a literal sense - and God used this experience to bring some balance to that. Dad is still my hero (even though he died when I was 12, and that was more years ago than I care to mention) but now I recognize that he was also very human. In a funny way it also brought me closer to Father God - up till then I was not going to let anyone replace my Daddy, not even Father.

Bless you real good - I pray God will continue to lead you deeper and deeper into relationship with Himself.

Lynn

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Ben

Revlynn,

Great testimony! I have discovered that I now love God the Father like I should and like the scriptures say I should, with all my heart, mind and soul. I have also discovered that it really is all about Him. We try, beg, plead, ask, seek, knock, pray, bribe, scream, weep, crawl, or basically do whatever we think will work but God does EVERYTHING in His time not ours. A former pastor of mine used this analogy. When we receive Christ we board a train named Salvation which has as its final destination, heaven. After we board the train we can sit back, obey the engineer, enjoy the trip and have a cup of tea, or we can get up and yell up to the engineer that we have decided to help him run the train because it seems he needs some help. So we begin worrying about whether the rails will support the weight of the train, whether the engine has enough coal and water to make it, whether the conductor will be by with the dinner menu, or whether the brakeman will apply the brakes at the correct time. Either way the train will arrive at its destination, but if we choose NOT to help the engineer the trip is so much more enjoyable!

Ben

revlynn

Hi Ben,

Your post reminded me of something that happened very early in my ministry. Probably because God called me straight into ministry (the day I was born again He said "preach", and within 6 weeks I was in Bible College), I started with a real sense of urgency. I was frequently saying things to God like, "Lord, things have got to move soon. There is so much to do, and You're coming back soon!"

One day the Lord got sick of it, and replied "I KNOW when I'm coming back! I don't need you to tell me! Everything is on time!" Oooops! (The Lord frequently speaks to me in distinct, though not physically audible, words - and when He does it's usually a rebuke.)

blessings,

Lynn

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Jon-Marc

Welcome to the Site, Ben.

Ben

Lynn,

He does the same thing with me.

Ben

bmc196

God heals so that you can be used I'd imagine. People will see the change, read about this transformation. It is amazing to feel, to believe, to know somewhat, that God has asked you to live for him - here on Earth. What an honour, and what a shift that can take place when one accepts this offer.

JG27_chili

Hi Ben, Im sort of similar. I can relate to your story. God Bless you and welcome to the CFS.

Chili out.