Charlie68

Well, the snowball gets bigger as it goes downhill. My wife's business has run into hard times, some reasons that are not her fault. She is way overdrawn at the bank and called for my help... to talk to them. Checks are now being returned and she is facing serious legal repurcussions soon unless something happens. The only recourse she now has is if I get a personal loan to help her. I don't want to see her face these consequences, but I have given her so much for this business already I am to the limit credit-wise. The other dilemma is all of this business is financed through my credit, so I stand a lot to lose if it fails............ What to do.

Boanerges

Charlie this is a matter for prayer and God's leading.

That being said here is my opinion- I am not a big fan of pulling people out of the fire- sometimes it is the very hand of God moving circumstances in order to change a heart- I wouldn't move a single finger without His direct leading. I am still praying for you- blessings and peace- Larry

JohnathanAmber

Dude, you need to sit down with God and talk with Him, earnlestly and LONG. This is a very difficult thing to answer.

On one hand she is running a business, on your credit. On another she is wanting to leave you for someone else.

Therefore if you upset her, she can terribly ruin your credit. Although not everything is needed to use credit, jobs, homes and cars do use credit.

Sit and pray my brother. Sit an pray.

God bless,
Johnathan

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violet

Boanerges

Sometimes God will shake every security that we have in order to bring us to our knees in prayer and repentance- I only hope your wife is wise enough to see it.

BreathOfGod

A day or so ago, you posted about your separation from her and how she has another man in her life already. You have said how you do realize that you have biblical grounds for divorce.

At this point, I would not get a loan for her business, and I would bring up the financial situation about the business with your divorce attorney. You already said that you stand to lose a lot if the business fails. Well, you also stand to lose a lot more if she keeps draining you for money in a failing business. Also, you taking out a personal loan can be misconstrued in the divorce as a gift and you may not be able to get any of it back. I would tell her that you are sorry she is having financial difficulty right now, but that you do not plan to take out a loan for her business until you have consulted with your attorney. Since the business is financed through your credit, your attorney might be able to help you divorce yourself from the business without losing your eyeteeth.

Do you realize that in the divorce she could also try and get spousal support (alimony) because the two of you have been married over 10 years? I don't know her and your situation enough to know if she will get it, but if she does then you will be paying out both child support and spousal support. You may need all the money you can get in the upcoming months/ years.

Right now what I would do, if I were you, is hire an attorney. Potentially hire a private investigator who can photograph/ document your wife's infidelity. And worry about protecting yourself and your children. Do you really want your children growing up in that type of environment? Do you want them in a home with a mother who brings men into the home to sleep with who are not her spouse? Usually the courts will give joint custody to parents, meaning that the mother gets them all week and daddy gets weekends (arrangements may vary). What your children need is someone who is financially and emotionally stable, that can provide a loving Christian home for them.

I know how difficult all of this is for you. Through this you will become a stronger person, even though you may not feel strong right now. You really need to protect yourself, your children, and your credit-- and get a lawyer. I will pray that God gives you strength and wisdom as you go through this.

(After some of the things I have been through, I'd probably rudely tell your wife to go ask her boyfriend for a loan. It took me years to realize that sometimes I need to stand up for myself and not allow people to use me. You still seem like a nice guy, so you probably don't want to tell her that. Hahah)

Boanerges

Truth!

Charlie68

Bookworm,
My wife's best friend told me about the same thing you just did yesterday. I have prayed and prayed.....and prayed more and I have mixed feelings about it. Above all, I want to do the right thing, and God's will. On one hand I don't want to do anything esle to enable her, which is what helping her out would do. On the other hand I don't want to lose out financially either. If I didn't have a 5 and 10 year old involved I would have done things much differently but that's a moot point I know.
As for praying, I believe God answers prayers through others also. So far, everyone I have talked to about this has said the same thing, don't do anything else for her. I am waiting on my lawyer to call me back and hopefully she can straighten me out, because I need it badly. Yes, I have been advised by many to get a woman lawyer, they say it is much better for a man to go into these with one.
There is no alimony in Texas, just child support. But you can bet your bottom dollar I will do anything to get my kids. I don't want them around people of low moral character or integrity any more than they have to be. It's sad that I can say that while I'm talking about my wife...........

violet

Charlie68

Oh, and the other struggle with this matter is if the bank finally stops covering her checks, then she will face severe legal repercussions which would kill me to explain to the children...if needed. I know I should probably bow out of the loan option though. I'll wait to hear fromm the lawyer. Thank you all for all the advice and kind words