Originally Posted by BrBob

Great post Violet.

A little clarification though. The first on the list (above) is almost innacurate. The word used in Genesis 2:18 is help meet. A help meet is not an assistant or helper, he/she is one who comes along side of a person, a companion and fellow worker. It implies a more equal standing than the words "helper" or "assistant".

I only bring this up because too often there is misunderstanding about the role of women in the family and church. It is not a subordinate position, it is a different position. In a marriage a woman is to submit to the husband and a husband is to submit to the wife. The wife's body belongs to the husband and the husband's body belongs to the wife. There is a balance!

Bob
Spearfish, SD

Originally Posted by Jax

Hi Dawn,
I hope Violet doesnt mind me jumping in here?
Marriage is meant to reflect the relationship between Jesus and the Church,
so it is about two becoming one, and Christ being formed in both of them.
We cant be the wife (or hisband) that God wants us to be without Him doing it.
I know that unless He graces me that I get resentful and angry and tetchy, so I read what the scripture says, I pray it over my marriage, and I ask the Lord to do it in me.

Originally Posted by Whirlwind

Violet - this pretty much sums up why I'm not married today.

My ex-wife was very controlling. She had to have the final say with everything. It didn't start out this way, but this was what it turned into very quickly.

She also had a child before we were married (not mine). After two years of marriage, my ex-wife turned to me one day and out of the blue told me: "Don't ever try to make me decide between you and her, because she'll win."

Wait a minute. I thought when we were married, we became one flesh? Things fell apart quickly after that. They rattled apart. I was 26, she was 42. I was her third husband.

After I divorced her, she married a 28 year old man. He died of a heart attack a year later. Just think.......... that could have been you

Today she lives a single life in her mother's house with her daughter at her side.

I also know men who have taken advantage of the rules by which women should live. He used his wife as an uncompensated servant, a driven slave, a punching bag (mental and physical). When he was disciplined for it, he always quoted the bible. After his wife passed away, he went mad.

My point is: There are rules to be a good wife...yeah. But with those rules, men should realize that there are also rules to being a good husband. A wife isn't like a pet or a toy, she's an extension of you. One in the same flesh. The rules Violet mentioned don't give men the right to treat women any way that they want to and get away with it. All of God's creations should be treated with respect. Including women, the mothers.

Just wanted to add my two cents into the pot.

Women are tender, beautiful, delicate gifts to any life; as mothers, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, wives, girlfriends, friends, etc. They're built more delicately and should be handled with care.

Originally Posted by Whirlwind

Violet - this pretty much sums up why I'm not married today.


My ex-wife was very controlling.
A controlling woman scares ME!!!
She had to have the final say with everything. It didn't start out this way, but this was what it turned into very quickly.

She also had a child before we were married (not mine). After two years of marriage, my ex-wife turned to me one day and out of the blue told me: "Don't ever try to make me decide between you and her, because she'll win."
So, you sure were put in your place, aye?

Wait a minute. I thought when we were married, we became one flesh? Things fell apart quickly after that. They rattled apart. I was 26, she was 42. I was her third husband.

After I divorced her, she married a 28 year old man. He died of a heart attack a year later.
Wonder of wonders?

Today she lives a single life in her mother's house with her daughter at her side.
Loneliness, as a result of having to be in control! I know someone like that!

I also know men who have taken advantage of the rules by which women should live. He used his wife as an uncompensated servant, a driven slave, a punching bag (mental and physical). When he was disciplined for it, he always quoted the bible. After his wife passed away, he went mad.
Yes, I know men like this too~ God expects us to use our wisdom and balance is so important in all roles too~

My point is: There are rules to be a good wife...yeah. But with those rules, men should realize that there are also rules to being a good husband. Amen, WW!!! A wife isn't like a pet or a toy, she's an extension of you. I like that! One in the same flesh. The rules Violet mentioned don't give men the right to treat women any way that they want to and get away with it. Thank you, WW; I appreciate that very much coming from a man! All of God's creations should be treated with respect. Including women, the mothers.

Just wanted to add my two cents into the pot.

Women are tender, beautiful, delicate gifts to any life; as mothers, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, wives, girlfriends, friends, etc. They're built more delicately and should be handled with care.

Originally Posted by Fluffy

Hey, Violet! It sounds like you have been reading the book "Created To Be His Helpmeet" by Debi Pearl.
I've never heard of it to tell you the truth~
I havent finished the book, myself, but so far, it has changed the way I relate to my husband and my houseduties! Great book! It sounds like it! But alot of women would balk at the "old fashioned ideas" it presents. Maybe becoming modern has harmed more than helped, huh?
Yes, and I prefer being old fashioned in so many things~