Stella

I came at this problem of being unequally yoked from another angle. My ex and I were both unbelievers when we married. 20 years later I became a believer, after most of my kids were grown. I called it quits after 30 years of marriage because of fornication on his part.

Several years later a Reverend was interested in me (he didn't have an online church due to physical disability but did have an online ministry). I thought this guy would be perfect because I really wanted to marry someone who knew the bible as well as I did (I had spent the previous 20+ years in deep doctrinal studies).

He was kind and loving and had high morals. How can you go wrong there? The problem was he never opened his Bible after we were married (I think he felt threatened by my Bible knowledge) and I had to practically beg him to say grace over our meals. There were a lot of things he did that gave me caution. He also had serious emotional problems that weren't obvious when we married and the marriage wasn't even consumated due to another problem he had.

After 4 years of trying to save the marriage I earnestly prayed for the Lord to help me and then found out he was a bigamist. He hadn't filed for divorce from his previous wife till after he met me and didn't wait for it to be finalized before we married. There was no need to hurry into the marriage--we could have waited. He claimed he didn't know you had to wait for the final papers but his sister told me later he did it on purpose (the fact that he was also a wedding officiant proved he was a liar on top of everything else). Obviously he wanted an easy out. The bigamy was the last straw. But it was also an answer to prayer. It was like the Lord said, "My dear, you're not even married--just move on". It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what to do in that situation.

So now I've been married once but divorced twice. I'm trying to get myself together, lick my wounds and move on, hoping for a "real" Christian godly man in my future.

JesusReignsForever

Now Had I reread this post that I wrote myself maybe I would of saved my self some heart ache.

Mark_18

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!, I wrote a huge thing just now, but when I submitted it the page didn't display and I lost it! Now I can't remember it all and say it the same.



Note to self: Copy before submitting.


Okay I'll try... (EDIT: It was longer, but w/e.)




Thanks everyone, this topic is helpful, and very apropriate for me right now. I'm almost 18 and I've never really had a girlfriend. Not long ago I was desperate for a girl to love, I would have had sexual relations if it meant having and keeping a girlfriend.

Now though, I am trusting the Lord to take care of those desires in my life. I just need to get my own wants out of the way. For example, there's this girl really like. She's amazing, but a non-christian, and in fact into drugs, sex, and the party scene. My instinct would be to be stubborn and ask the Lord to help be change her so that we could be together. But I'm over that, and I know that's now what he's got planned. Even though I've had amazing daydreams about talking to her and her being hit by the Holy Spirit for the first time.

It seems back when I would have sinned to have a girlfriend, nobody liked me that way. But now I've gained so much character, personality, and become more attractive, and lost weight. The girls actually think I'm cool and sexy, lol. But it's now that I will not have pre-marital sex, or sin to be with a girl, that I have the oportunities to. All for the best of course. I'm just fealing lonely.

Girls out there with the problem, I'd like to send you hope right now. There are guys out there, like me , who just need to meet you, and since you are both walking with God things WILL work out if you are both willing to just be faithful and do anything He says. (God, not the guy, lol) I think that TO AN EXTENT, there is no such thing as incompatibility between a man and a woman who are walking with God. Just trust God to guide you to this future relationship, and with all you've got, resist your desires if they conflict with what He tells you. Even if you don't understand how it will help. I've been listening to that song by Lifehouse, "Everything". He is everything. EVERYTHING you want and need, including a relationship with another person.

I believe that the bloodshed of our brothers and sisters can prevent our own bloodshed. Meaning that those who have made the mistakes and learned, can become part of our lives in the form of knowledge without making the mistakes. Hopefully. Not implying in any way that you are a fool to make your own mistakes.

PS and OT: Anyone else love Mark Schultz?


God Bless


Mark

Associate Chaplain

I know of a situation where this girl fell in love and married a guy who first appeared to want to be a Christian but as they started their marriage she began to question this. They had their fights at first but after a few years things began to change and he tolareted religion. As the years progressed he started to atttend church more willingly. He even entered the Reserves where he became a Chaplain Assistant, began to take Religion courses, etc and is now a Minister. My thought here is he had a hard time with his childhood and with the religion he grew up in. There were times he thought that religion was created to control people by FEAR. GOD gave this woman the strength to go a day at a time, and to be honest with you, I thank them both.

Tarantula

"unfaithful is the only grounds of divorce". This is a sham. The LORD Himself says:

Passage Malachi 2:16:

16 "I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself [a] with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty.
So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

Boanerges

While it is accepted scripturally it is never God's intention or desire for us.

Tarantula

so it's okay for man's writing and translation, but we'll let that get in the way of God's intentions for us?
That doesn't sound very "in His image" to me...

If God says no, how does that make it scripturally accepted. Surely scriptures are the Word of God, and if they aren't, they're the word of man, and therefore lesser. I'm preferring to believe what God directly SAID in Malachi.

Tarantula

This verse is actually about working with non Christians. Hence fellowship, not relationships or love. This is because non-Christian colleagues or those you may work with on a contract will be serving their own ends, and therefore their plans may not flow parallel with yours, or should I say, God's.

As a matter of fact, Light and Darkness CAN clash together. In fact, I believe clashing is what they do best together. Also, what about dawn break, or sunset? :S
Broken families are due to an upset individual. I believe demons do not attack solely as spiritual effects or physical affects, but a combination of the both. Denying mental illness and says "it's just the work of demons" is insane, God knows that. As I said before it's about work, not relationships. Hence yoked. Do you know what yoked means? Oxen are yoked, it means they are put together to follow the same path, but are still individuals. In marriage, you are not individuals, but one in the flesh, which is why "going seperate ways" is more destructive in a marriage than in a work fellowship. Hope that helped clear some uncertainty. Oh, and they do it because it earns money for the family to live on, oddly.

Boanerges

You missunderstand - I will quote Jesus for a clarifaction:
Mat 19:7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away
Mat 19:8 He saith unto them, Mosesbecauseofthehardness of your heartssufferedyoutoput awayyourwives:butfromthebeginningitwasnotso.Mat 19:9AndIsayuntoyou,Whosoevershallput awayhiswife,exceptitbeforfornication,andshallmarryanother,committeth adultery:andwhoso marriethher which is put awaydothcommit adultery.

Many blessings, brother Larry.

Tarantula

I still believe divorce is a last resort, which you should ask forgiveness for for having to put yourself to resort to. After all, if God was in charge of your life, as a perfect scenario would be, would you be in the situation where you need a divorce?