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Marriage and Relationships Discuss marriage and relationship issues. If you single/courting/preparing for marriage, talk to members for advices.

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Old 08-28-2008, 05:20 AM   #1
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Default a girl at work...

the call center i work at just started on a new contract at the start of august and while we were doing the new training i met a really nice girl. now we end up sitting right by each other working the same shift except for our days off and or break schedual (wich sucks kinda...) though for the time our breaks do overlap it seems no matter who else is in the lunch room she llways comes and sits with me we also talk alot betwean calls when we can. to top it off she is pretty much every thing i want in a woman she is kind, honest and likes me for who i am and to top it off she is pretty good looking (i think so any way she has the moste wonderfull blueish grey eyes and well yea lol). right now the two bigest things are i dont know what her stance is on God or how she feels about me. i really want to ask her to a movie or somthin like that (once again it sucks because we have different days off ) but i guess i am affrade of her saying no (to be honest i am horribly affrade of rejection and thats probably why i have never really had a girl friend...) hmmm
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7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. 8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
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Old 08-31-2008, 12:05 AM   #2
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Hello brother, I'm glad you met someone nice. However, I believe that before you even begin to think about asking her on a date or spending any alone time at all with her, you should find out her stance on God. That is perhaps the most important thing in a relationship. If she is not a Chrisian, no matter how much our flesh wants to go after her you must be self controlled. God is first and foremost in your life and you don't want to be in a relationship yoked with one of this world.
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Old 08-31-2008, 05:36 AM   #3
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Her position on God matters if you're to date her, for the point in doing so is eventually marriage, and regardless, don't date a non-Christian girl. We are or should be anyway, so different, that that wouldn't work.

BUT, her position on God does not matter for a friendship. And friends is what you should be focusing on first. If she is very worldly, and you are weak and she could have you backsliding in your faith, then it matters, but other than that, as long as you can stand your ground humbly, all the while accepting her, then you can be friends.

Talk to God and pray about it, I've heard of people not even dating, rather just up and getting married because God divinely prepared them and told them to.

Don't rush, get to know her a lot before any dating. If she asks you out maybe even tell her that, while you're not exactly saying "no", you need to be friends first. Tell her "If I love you enough for it to work, I won't break your heart by decieving you about who I am, asking for things to fall apart down the road. Because of this, a lot has to be revealed about me, so that you'll really know me."

Because dating flesh is messy. Date spiritually by God's lead. And to love God you must love truth. Tell her you need it to be, and follow through with making it - on the condition of 100% truth. A decietful heart in a relationship is like a hole in tire. Why leave the driveway with a hole in your tire?

If she doesn't melt at your honesty and how much you value truth, then she'd have to be shutting out true love quite a bit.
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Luke 15:31 - And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.
Joel 2:28 - I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions.
Matthew 7:7 - Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Psalms 126:5 - Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.

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Old 08-31-2008, 01:47 PM   #4
 
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Amen- take it slow and easy, you will know what is the right thing to do. Perhaps you could start by inviting her to Church and see what she says.
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Old 08-31-2008, 06:20 PM   #5
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oh i know it is very important for her to have a relationship with God if i am to have any sort of romantic relationship with her like i said right now the two bigest thins is i dont know what her stance is on God or her feelings towards me the first being the most important
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7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. 8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
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Old 08-31-2008, 06:39 PM   #6
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One of the first questions I ask anyone I meet is:
"so, Where do you attend worship?"

I've never had a negative response to that question.
If they say nowhere, then we talk about that.

Don't be afrain to ask Chris, in fact, it has been my experience that just about everyone enjoys talking about their beliefs and are more than happy to share them.

I liked your advice Boanerges, couldn't have said it better.
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Old 08-31-2008, 08:33 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boanerges View Post
Amen- take it slow and easy, you will know what is the right thing to do. Perhaps you could start by inviting her to Church and see what she says.
i would have to go to a church my self befor i could do that lol
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7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. 8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
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Old 08-31-2008, 09:19 PM   #8
 
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There is no time like the present!
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Anything that dims my vision for Christ, or takes away my taste for Bible study, or cramps me in my prayer life, or makes Christian work difficult, is wrong for me; and I must, as a Christian turn away from it. – J. Wilbur Chapman
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Old 09-01-2008, 12:19 AM   #9
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yes i know and it is somthing i have been praying about and it is a decision i know i cant make on my own even if i wanted to. this along with my feelings/relationship with this girl how ever it turns out is somthing i know i must trust in God to resolv and provide the answer for.
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7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. 8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
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