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Marriage and Relationships Discuss marriage and relationship issues. If you single/courting/preparing for marriage, talk to members for advices.

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Old 06-27-2008, 09:38 PM   #11
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mellow View Post
We've got two opposite opinions here.
That is not a problem for me! My brother Don is awesome and we do not have to agree on every little detail of our lives- instead we are called to love each other in Jesus Name.
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Old 06-27-2008, 09:53 PM   #12
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Not opposite opinions at all, I was referring to a situation 20 years ago.
I made lots of mistakes 20 years ago but God is cleansing me.
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Old 06-28-2008, 06:44 AM   #13
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We've got two opposite opinions here.
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Believe you me, I am sure there is more than two.. and that is great.. remember we were all created unique..

Thank you so much to all of you for your responses. I love this forum!

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Quote:
made lots of mistakes 20 years ago but God is cleansing me.
Hey Don,
I can relate to the cleansing.. but man oh man .. for me right now it is painful.. he sure is "cleaning the muck" out of me.. but I know he is preparing me for awesome things.. most of all my home in eternity.. but also for a righteous and holy living while I am here!

Hugs to all
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Old 06-28-2008, 02:14 PM   #14
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I'm so sorry you are feeling uneasy about this, but maybe he just likes the sayings on the cards and things and keeps them to refer back to from time to time for none other than reference purposes. I know I do . . .

You see, I keep notes and things from others (even from ex's) because I love to write. I may not be very good at it, but I love to write. I have a file for nothing but notes (my notes, other's notes, Internet notes, and so on).

I refer back to these notes when I need inspiration for a piece I am writing or when I need a new idea for a new piece to write. I have even printed out some of the posts on this forum for future reference; rewritten in my own words of course - no plagiarism here.

Different strokes - but interesting post all the same.

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Old 06-28-2008, 10:45 PM   #15
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Ok, I know there is many threads in regards to different things with this topic, but I have a question.

So when a man and woman, guy and gal, break off a relationship, I see there is a difference in regards to what one many hold onto from the previous relationship.

What I mean by this, is for me when my relationships have ended, I want "rid" of all reminders.. ie.. cards, pictures etc..

I have seen it different for guys. For example, I do not understand why my boyfriend has hung onto the cards from a previous relationship and not even the one before me. Not only has he hung onto them, they are right there in the drawer, next to the ones I have given him. Now for whatever unknown reason, this bothers me. I mean if you want to hang onto something from a previous relationship, something that meant something to you, why not put them in a box up on a shelf? I had asked him one time and he said it is not like he picks them up and reads them, they are just there.. They are still there and we have been dating for almost 2 years.. many a time I was tempted to pick them up and throw them away, but that is my property..

I know this is a "stupid" thing, but it is something that bothers me. I feel out of respect, either put them away, or throw them away.. just my thought..

Faithwoman
I wouldn't make an issue of it. Many people keep differant things for differant reasons. Perhaps it is a security issue for him and if or when your relationship relieves that insecurity he will get rid of them.

I don't have things from previous relationships. After 39 years of marriage I don't have much of anything from our marriage much less from previous relationships. Wish I did. Some would be antiques $$$$.

You don't have any real grounds to question it unless there has been some sort of commitment made. (enguagement, marriage)
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Old 06-28-2008, 10:47 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adonaicole View Post
Not opposite opinions at all, I was referring to a situation 20 years ago.
I made lots of mistakes 20 years ago but God is cleansing me.
Oh thats good.
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Old 06-29-2008, 02:25 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Faithwoman View Post
Ok, I know there is many threads in regards to different things with this topic, but I have a question.

So when a man and woman, guy and gal, break off a relationship, I see there is a difference in regards to what one many hold onto from the previous relationship.

What I mean by this, is for me when my relationships have ended, I want "rid" of all reminders.. ie.. cards, pictures etc..

I have seen it different for guys. For example, I do not understand why my boyfriend has hung onto the cards from a previous relationship and not even the one before me. Not only has he hung onto them, they are right there in the drawer, next to the ones I have given him. Now for whatever unknown reason, this bothers me. I mean if you want to hang onto something from a previous relationship, something that meant something to you, why not put them in a box up on a shelf? I had asked him one time and he said it is not like he picks them up and reads them, they are just there.. They are still there and we have been dating for almost 2 years.. many a time I was tempted to pick them up and throw them away, but that is my property..

I know this is a "stupid" thing, but it is something that bothers me. I feel out of respect, either put them away, or throw them away.. just my thought..

Faithwoman
talk to him about it.
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Old 07-01-2008, 04:21 AM   #18
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Quote:
talk to him about it.
Ok. I did exactly that. In a conversation over the week-end I just happened to say by the way.. there is something that has been on my mind.. I said about the cards.. and I included. if they are special to you, have special memories etc.. would you mind putting them away in a box. not sitting next to mine I gave you? He said my gosh why did you not say something sooner? I said.. well I had mentioned it briefly before.. he said go ahead and throw them away.. I said that is not my property and that is not right for me to do.. he said he would take care of them.. He said he understood exactly where I was coming from.

and I admitted to victimizing myself by actually reading them! OMG! now how stupid was tha

Alrighty then.. off to read more about men.. lol.. I am learning about a man's rolodex of a mind.. now that was interesting..

Loving the books by the way!
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Old 07-04-2008, 02:32 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Faithwoman View Post
Ok. I did exactly that. In a conversation over the week-end I just happened to say by the way.. there is something that has been on my mind.. I said about the cards.. and I included. if they are special to you, have special memories etc.. would you mind putting them away in a box. not sitting next to mine I gave you? He said my gosh why did you not say something sooner? I said.. well I had mentioned it briefly before.. he said go ahead and throw them away.. I said that is not my property and that is not right for me to do.. he said he would take care of them.. He said he understood exactly where I was coming from.

and I admitted to victimizing myself by actually reading them! OMG! now how stupid was tha

Alrighty then.. off to read more about men.. lol.. I am learning about a man's rolodex of a mind.. now that was interesting..

Loving the books by the way!
Faithwoman
yes, very interesting exactly how different the minds of men and women are!

Another good book you might like is Men are like Waffles - Women are like Spaghetti by Bill and Pam Farrel ... it compares men to waffles (everything is separated and sorted into boxes) and women to spaghetti (everything intertwines and is connected) ... it was another interesting read for me.

Congratulations on resolving the issue! .. I am proud of you!
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Old 07-04-2008, 02:42 AM   #20
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men want a peaceful life,women want to stop us having one.
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