Trust issue, what should I do? - Page 2

Mark_18 · 03-25-2008, 05:58 AM

Had a long response, but I'll be back with it because I got a friend on MSN that I think is crying out for help, but won't admit it so far.

Sorry Mallisa I'll be back though.

smellycat · 03-25-2008, 06:18 AM

in the uk there on about banning cigs,because they are bad for your health,i think people should be made aware porn is deadly.this is a covered place,truely sick society.i think you need to keep your man straight.

BCheezy · 03-25-2008, 06:53 AM

I think the guy deserves to be forgiven. As long as he is sorry and asked God for forgivess, he was forgiven by God, and should be forgiven by you as well, for you made mistakes as well (I saw your other topic) but are now clean. You don't have any idea in the world (and never will) how much temptation a guy is enountered with to look at females in a lustful way. It doesn't even feel wrong at times. I have looked at porn. Several other christians I know have looked at porn evena few on this site have been open about it. It's too easy to do and doesn't take much more than a wandering mind to start getting curious about it. It is hard to keep God on your mind and be doing right ALL the time. Even a girl in short shorts at the gym is almost impossible to ignore. Being the great guy that you say he is, he competely deserves every benefit of the doubt that he has stopped and is not betraying you.

Just ask yourself, what do his intentions read? Is he a humble, broken, faithful guy who wants to be forgiven for what he has done? I might be wrong, but judging by how strong of an individual you have become lately, and what you have said about him, I bet he is a great guy that has every intention to try his best to make it all about God, and your guys' pure relationship.

I'm glad you came on here and asked for advice. Many times people make the mistake of not getting advice and letting problems go untreated. It's very healthy. So keep in touch, and good luck. I'll be praying.

Mark_18 · 03-25-2008, 09:00 AM

I used to do it. Jesus showed me so much now that I see how bad it is, but before Jesus, you must believe me here everyone, porn can seam as natural as can be and as though there's nothing wrong with it. I'm not saying he's there, it certainly doesn't sound like he is.

You've made mistakes. This is one of HIS. Different from yours maybe, but it's all the same.

As for you,

Jesus wouldn't snoop. Don't snoop.

Jesus would forgive him err' time. Forgive him.

Jesus would only talk to him out of love and say what is in his best interest. Not just what he wants to hear. Do so.

You are NOT not enough for him nor do you fall short of other woman in any way. Beauty does not love. Beauty can cause one to invite demons into their life. Beauty, like money isn't bad, but it's the love of it that's a mistake.

He who lusts after a woman has already commited adultary in his heart. This is in the bible. You said he's a faithful Christian. Then the truth spoken from a loving heart will hit him hard and set him straight. The first sentence is THE WORD OF GOD. Tell him if he believes in God he HAS to impliment that truth. Tell him it's not just for you, it's more for him than it is for you. It's HIS salvation. You being saved does not rely on him, it's HIS salvation. Not that it doesn't hurt you too.

Tell him you two in marriage are one and must stay on that narrow path, or demons will find their way into your marriage.
When I did look at porn I would NEVER have cheated on my gf. (Never had one anyways

) I'm sure he's the same way. But now I see how the two are connected. He needs to see this, and forever expand his understanding.

Malissa. Every bit of pain you have ever been put through because of sexual sin stems from lust. The same thing that your man is giving into. Ask God to give you the wisdom to show him how serious that is. Ask, believe, act in faith, and you WILL recieve.

Love your bro,

Mark.

Malissa · 03-25-2008, 09:48 PM

Thank you all I really do appreciate all the help you have given me not just in this subject but through so many other things that I have been going through. You have all made some really good points and help me to see the situation much better. I know after just being able to let it out and what has been on my mind helped me but all of your feedback and advice has helped me even more and I know I will continue to feel much better about this.

slavetoChrist · 03-28-2008, 03:38 PM

there are accountability programs that record your internet activities and send them to someone else. Something like that might be what both of you need; rather than arguing about it.

You need it to learn to trust... and it would give you greater confidence that he is not looking at it.

He may need it because porn is something that never goes away and the temptation is always so close.

I also would caution you not to take too much stock in porn. I, when I was an atheist, was an avid porn enthusiast. Yes, God has cleansed my heart and mind, but I am still susceptible and have a propensity for it. Most men do. However, men like me and your soon-to-be, if we are tempted or fall, is not because we do not love you, recognize your beauty, or know you are more than good enough for us. It is merely a weakness.

men notice. it's not something we can change.

slavetoChrist · 03-28-2008, 03:39 PM

my fiance's name is Melissa.

adonaicole · 03-28-2008, 07:25 PM

I like Violet's idea...

Quote:

Talk to him and take it to God in prayer.
If that doesn't work, take a hammer to his pc.

Talk to him in love, you are a great catch, I'm sure he would choose you over a bad addiction. If he doesn't, there's always the hammer...

BCheezy · 03-29-2008, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slavetoChrist

there are accountability programs that record your internet activities and send them to someone else. Something like that might be what both of you need; rather than arguing about it.

You need it to learn to trust... and it would give you greater confidence that he is not looking at it.

He may need it because porn is something that never goes away and the temptation is always so close.

I also would caution you not to take too much stock in porn. I, when I was an atheist, was an avid porn enthusiast. Yes, God has cleansed my heart and mind, but I am still susceptible and have a propensity for it. Most men do. However, men like me and your soon-to-be, if we are tempted or fall, is not because we do not love you, recognize your beauty, or know you are more than good enough for us. It is merely a weakness.

men notice. it's not something we can change.

If you don't feel like trusting, then sure, why not? Why not just stop using passwords altogether?

slavetoChrist · 03-29-2008, 08:12 PM

so being accountable means being untrusting?

03-25-2008, 05:58 AM	#11 (permalink)
Mark_18 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Manitoba Posts: 643 Blog Entries: 1 Rep Power: 1	Had a long response, but I'll be back with it because I got a friend on MSN that I think is crying out for help, but won't admit it so far. Sorry Mallisa I'll be back though. __________________ Mark 1:8 - "I baptize you with water, but he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit!"

03-25-2008, 06:53 AM	#13 (permalink)
BCheezy Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Seattle Posts: 253 Rep Power: 1	I think the guy deserves to be forgiven. As long as he is sorry and asked God for forgivess, he was forgiven by God, and should be forgiven by you as well, for you made mistakes as well (I saw your other topic) but are now clean. You don't have any idea in the world (and never will) how much temptation a guy is enountered with to look at females in a lustful way. It doesn't even feel wrong at times. I have looked at porn. Several other christians I know have looked at porn evena few on this site have been open about it. It's too easy to do and doesn't take much more than a wandering mind to start getting curious about it. It is hard to keep God on your mind and be doing right ALL the time. Even a girl in short shorts at the gym is almost impossible to ignore. Being the great guy that you say he is, he competely deserves every benefit of the doubt that he has stopped and is not betraying you. Just ask yourself, what do his intentions read? Is he a humble, broken, faithful guy who wants to be forgiven for what he has done? I might be wrong, but judging by how strong of an individual you have become lately, and what you have said about him, I bet he is a great guy that has every intention to try his best to make it all about God, and your guys' pure relationship. I'm glad you came on here and asked for advice. Many times people make the mistake of not getting advice and letting problems go untreated. It's very healthy. So keep in touch, and good luck. I'll be praying. __________________

03-25-2008, 09:00 AM	#14 (permalink)
Mark_18 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Manitoba Posts: 643 Blog Entries: 1 Rep Power: 1	I used to do it. Jesus showed me so much now that I see how bad it is, but before Jesus, you must believe me here everyone, porn can seam as natural as can be and as though there's nothing wrong with it. I'm not saying he's there, it certainly doesn't sound like he is. You've made mistakes. This is one of HIS. Different from yours maybe, but it's all the same. As for you, Jesus wouldn't snoop. Don't snoop. Jesus would forgive him err' time. Forgive him. Jesus would only talk to him out of love and say what is in his best interest. Not just what he wants to hear. Do so. You are NOT not enough for him nor do you fall short of other woman in any way. Beauty does not love. Beauty can cause one to invite demons into their life. Beauty, like money isn't bad, but it's the love of it that's a mistake. He who lusts after a woman has already commited adultary in his heart. This is in the bible. You said he's a faithful Christian. Then the truth spoken from a loving heart will hit him hard and set him straight. The first sentence is THE WORD OF GOD. Tell him if he believes in God he HAS to impliment that truth. Tell him it's not just for you, it's more for him than it is for you. It's HIS salvation. You being saved does not rely on him, it's HIS salvation. Not that it doesn't hurt you too. Tell him you two in marriage are one and must stay on that narrow path, or demons will find their way into your marriage. When I did look at porn I would NEVER have cheated on my gf. (Never had one anyways ) I'm sure he's the same way. But now I see how the two are connected. He needs to see this, and forever expand his understanding. Malissa. Every bit of pain you have ever been put through because of sexual sin stems from lust. The same thing that your man is giving into. Ask God to give you the wisdom to show him how serious that is. Ask, believe, act in faith, and you WILL recieve. Love your bro, Mark. __________________ Mark 1:8 - "I baptize you with water, but he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit!"

03-28-2008, 03:38 PM	#16 (permalink)
slavetoChrist Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Brookville, OH Posts: 895 Blog Entries: 2 Rep Power: 1	there are accountability programs that record your internet activities and send them to someone else. Something like that might be what both of you need; rather than arguing about it. You need it to learn to trust... and it would give you greater confidence that he is not looking at it. He may need it because porn is something that never goes away and the temptation is always so close. I also would caution you not to take too much stock in porn. I, when I was an atheist, was an avid porn enthusiast. Yes, God has cleansed my heart and mind, but I am still susceptible and have a propensity for it. Most men do. However, men like me and your soon-to-be, if we are tempted or fall, is not because we do not love you, recognize your beauty, or know you are more than good enough for us. It is merely a weakness. men notice. it's not something we can change. __________________ we know the way! we speak the truth! we live the life! cause He's the Lord!

03-28-2008, 03:39 PM	#17 (permalink)
slavetoChrist Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Brookville, OH Posts: 895 Blog Entries: 2 Rep Power: 1	my fiance's name is Melissa. __________________ we know the way! we speak the truth! we live the life! cause He's the Lord!

03-25-2008, 06:18 AM	#12 (permalink)
smellycat Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: uk Posts: 4,868 Rep Power: 6	in the uk there on about banning cigs,because they are bad for your health,i think people should be made aware porn is deadly.this is a covered place,truely sick society.i think you need to keep your man straight.

03-25-2008, 09:48 PM	#15 (permalink)
Malissa Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Colorado Posts: 26 Rep Power: 0	Thank you all I really do appreciate all the help you have given me not just in this subject but through so many other things that I have been going through. You have all made some really good points and help me to see the situation much better. I know after just being able to let it out and what has been on my mind helped me but all of your feedback and advice has helped me even more and I know I will continue to feel much better about this.

03-29-2008, 08:12 PM	#20 (permalink)
slavetoChrist Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Brookville, OH Posts: 895 Blog Entries: 2 Rep Power: 1	so being accountable means being untrusting? __________________ we know the way! we speak the truth! we live the life! cause He's the Lord!

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode