Divorce

BreathOfGod · 02-14-2008, 04:57 PM

Let's face it.... just over 40% of marriages end in divorce, and in the church the rate is not much lower.

As some people might know, I am currently going through my second divorce. I recently began attending a class called "DivorceCare." My children are going to "DivorceCare4Kids." I have only been to one class so far, but I can honestly say that I was surprised about the class makeup.

There are people there who are attending for their second time, because they didn't think they needed it very much the first time and now they realize how much it helps and how much they can get out of it. There are men there. In fact, about half the class is men. This surprised me because normally you don't think of men going to self-help classes, where people talk about emotions and stuff. Some people in the class are in the process of getting a divorce, and others have been divorced 6+ years. Some people in the class were married only a few years, while others were married 30+ years. The point is that this class is something that anyone who is divorced can attend, no matter at what stage they are, what their gender, what their age, and what their situation.

I wanted to share a link about DivorceCare here for anyone who might be going through a divorce, or thinking of going through a divorce, or even has been divorced in the past. You can go to this link and find a church in your area that offers this. It is a Christian based program, so everything in it is biblically based with knowledge and advice from experts. I have only been to one class, but I honestly would recommend it even for those who may not think that they need it.

DivorceCare: Divorce Recovery Support Groups

DivorceCare: DivorceCare for Kids

DivorceCare for Kids divorce recovery support groups for children

slavetoChrist · 02-14-2008, 08:32 PM

my fiance went through divorce care and said it was a very good thing.

we are both divorced.. but I never went through a class.. God took me through the "class of hard knocks" and worked with me through all the pain and the heart ache.

I grieve in my heart for everyone who goes through such horror as a divorce. I would only recommend it is VERY extreme circumstances.

jwp · 04-04-2008, 09:17 PM

I started to type a bunch of comment on divorce and finally just thought, hey just post the link, so here it is:
[ loveandrespect.com ] Love and Respect - Presented by Dr. Emerson E. Eggerichs

slavetoChrist · 04-05-2008, 03:00 AM

I've read the book. good book.

if you haven't read "for men only" and "for women only" .. READ THEM.

.. I have never read a book which so clearly articulates what a woman and a man want and need. (at least as far as I can tell on the woman thing cause no man really understand women.. lol)

Aelita · 04-08-2008, 02:23 AM

Could you please explain more what you mean by "biblically based"?

slavetoChrist · 04-10-2008, 03:14 PM

it means it's based on Biblical principles.

Paradox · 04-29-2008, 04:35 AM

Question...What do you (anyone) think are the reasons for divorce. If I'm not mistaken, the Bible only gives one reason for divorce, and that's infidelity. But what if a person endures any kind of abuse?

Second part...If a marriage suffers from infidelity, does it HAVE to end? Or is the Bible saying a marriage MAY end?

Pastor Gary · 04-29-2008, 10:36 AM

A related matter in this thread may be of interest.

God is a divorcee... Surprised to hear that? Please review:

Jeremiah 3:6-10 (KJV)

Quote:

Judah Follows Israel’s Example -

6 The LORD said also unto me in the days of Josiah the king, Hast thou seen that which backsliding Israel hath done? she is gone up upon every high mountain and under every green tree, and there hath played the harlot.

7 And I said after she had done all these things, Turn thou unto me. But she returned not. And her treacherous sister Judah saw it.
8 And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.
9 And it came to pass through the lightness of her whoredom, that she defiled the land, and committed adultery with stones and with stocks. 10 And yet for all this her treacherous sister Judah hath not turned unto me with her whole heart, but feignedly, saith the LORD.

Boanerges · 04-29-2008, 11:53 AM

SBT- sad but true. Is the church in general any more faithful than Israel was?

Jon-Marc · 04-29-2008, 11:07 PM

I am twice divorced and have been judged and condemned by church deacons (and others) because of it. My first wife was never faithful to me. She left me twice, and I forgave her and took her back both times. However, when she said to me, "I won't change", that was when I gave up and divorced her. I never believed in sex with anyone to whom I wasn't married.

The second one after two weeks of marriage started sleeping on the sofa and criticized EVERYTHING I said and did. I was just thankful she couldn't read my thoughts. After more than 7 months of being constantly criticized I said to her, "You might as well start looking for some place else to live, and we'll end this farce." Two weeks later she moved in with her son from a previous marriage. I'm sure they resumed their screaming match that went on at my home. Their yelling drove me out of the house. The thing is, a pastor I knew wanted to warn me about her, and I wouldn't listen. We make our bed and then have to lie in it. Counseling did no good. She just decided that I wasn't good enough for her when she realized that I had faults, and she didn't.

I have no desire to be married again and don't want anyone. Whenever I get the asinine idea that I want someone, I remind myself of the emotional pain and misery I suffered. It quickly cures me of that thought.

02-14-2008, 04:57 PM	#1 (permalink)
BreathOfGod Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 518 Blog Entries: 8 Rep Power: 1	Divorce Let's face it.... just over 40% of marriages end in divorce, and in the church the rate is not much lower. As some people might know, I am currently going through my second divorce. I recently began attending a class called "DivorceCare." My children are going to "DivorceCare4Kids." I have only been to one class so far, but I can honestly say that I was surprised about the class makeup. There are people there who are attending for their second time, because they didn't think they needed it very much the first time and now they realize how much it helps and how much they can get out of it. There are men there. In fact, about half the class is men. This surprised me because normally you don't think of men going to self-help classes, where people talk about emotions and stuff. Some people in the class are in the process of getting a divorce, and others have been divorced 6+ years. Some people in the class were married only a few years, while others were married 30+ years. The point is that this class is something that anyone who is divorced can attend, no matter at what stage they are, what their gender, what their age, and what their situation. I wanted to share a link about DivorceCare here for anyone who might be going through a divorce, or thinking of going through a divorce, or even has been divorced in the past. You can go to this link and find a church in your area that offers this. It is a Christian based program, so everything in it is biblically based with knowledge and advice from experts. I have only been to one class, but I honestly would recommend it even for those who may not think that they need it. DivorceCare: Divorce Recovery Support Groups DivorceCare: DivorceCare for Kids DivorceCare for Kids divorce recovery support groups for children

02-14-2008, 08:32 PM	#2 (permalink)
slavetoChrist Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Brookville, OH Posts: 895 Blog Entries: 2 Rep Power: 1	my fiance went through divorce care and said it was a very good thing. we are both divorced.. but I never went through a class.. God took me through the "class of hard knocks" and worked with me through all the pain and the heart ache. I grieve in my heart for everyone who goes through such horror as a divorce. I would only recommend it is VERY extreme circumstances. __________________ we know the way! we speak the truth! we live the life! cause He's the Lord!

04-05-2008, 03:00 AM	#4 (permalink)
slavetoChrist Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Brookville, OH Posts: 895 Blog Entries: 2 Rep Power: 1	I've read the book. good book. if you haven't read "for men only" and "for women only" .. READ THEM. .. I have never read a book which so clearly articulates what a woman and a man want and need. (at least as far as I can tell on the woman thing cause no man really understand women.. lol) __________________ we know the way! we speak the truth! we live the life! cause He's the Lord!

04-10-2008, 03:14 PM	#6 (permalink)
slavetoChrist Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Brookville, OH Posts: 895 Blog Entries: 2 Rep Power: 1	it means it's based on Biblical principles. __________________ we know the way! we speak the truth! we live the life! cause He's the Lord!

04-29-2008, 11:53 AM	#9 (permalink)
Boanerges Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: St Rose LA Posts: 14,751 Blog Entries: 3 Rep Power: 16	SBT- sad but true. Is the church in general any more faithful than Israel was? __________________ Love, in the final analysis, is wisdom. --E.W. Kenyon

04-04-2008, 09:17 PM	#3 (permalink)
jwp Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Minnesota Posts: 10 Rep Power: 0	I started to type a bunch of comment on divorce and finally just thought, hey just post the link, so here it is: [ loveandrespect.com ] Love and Respect - Presented by Dr. Emerson E. Eggerichs

04-08-2008, 02:23 AM	#5 (permalink)
Aelita Former Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: MI Posts: 37 Rep Power: 0	Could you please explain more what you mean by "biblically based"?

04-29-2008, 04:35 AM	#7 (permalink)
Paradox Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Canada Posts: 39 Rep Power: 0	Question...What do you (anyone) think are the reasons for divorce. If I'm not mistaken, the Bible only gives one reason for divorce, and that's infidelity. But what if a person endures any kind of abuse? Second part...If a marriage suffers from infidelity, does it HAVE to end? Or is the Bible saying a marriage MAY end?

04-29-2008, 11:07 PM	#10 (permalink)
Jon-Marc Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Hudson, FL Posts: 284 Rep Power: 1	I am twice divorced and have been judged and condemned by church deacons (and others) because of it. My first wife was never faithful to me. She left me twice, and I forgave her and took her back both times. However, when she said to me, "I won't change", that was when I gave up and divorced her. I never believed in sex with anyone to whom I wasn't married. The second one after two weeks of marriage started sleeping on the sofa and criticized EVERYTHING I said and did. I was just thankful she couldn't read my thoughts. After more than 7 months of being constantly criticized I said to her, "You might as well start looking for some place else to live, and we'll end this farce." Two weeks later she moved in with her son from a previous marriage. I'm sure they resumed their screaming match that went on at my home. Their yelling drove me out of the house. The thing is, a pastor I knew wanted to warn me about her, and I wouldn't listen. We make our bed and then have to lie in it. Counseling did no good. She just decided that I wasn't good enough for her when she realized that I had faults, and she didn't. I have no desire to be married again and don't want anyone. Whenever I get the asinine idea that I want someone, I remind myself of the emotional pain and misery I suffered. It quickly cures me of that thought.

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