Divorce - Page 3

Paradox · 05-02-2008, 01:56 AM

You did come across strong, but I think it's awesome to be passionate about stuff. I have been in an emotionally abusive relationship, but nothing more. I say emotionally in the sense that I was manipulated to the point of being made the guilty person for everything. And I truely feel guilty for everything. But I don't think that's a good enough reason for me to get a divorce. Even though it still hurts.

I have been the victim of both physical and sexual abuse as a child. And I don't think that ANYONE should ever have to endure that. That's why I wonder why the Bible mentions nothing about that as a reason to get a divorce. The Bible just seems silent on some issues.

el Pollo · 05-02-2008, 01:59 AM

A very grieving topic, divorce is.

Now that my Yoda impersonation is done, I'd like to chime in on this sad yet real issue. I have been married six years. And when it comes down to it, I would not for one moment let regret creep into my mind. It's not that I feel that God has rendered marriage sacred, it's because I believe God has rendered it sacred. But do problems arise? They sure do.

When my wife and I start to argue, we follow a strict guideline of sticking to the point. That was if our kids ever witness our arguments, they see that people don't always agree, and don't need to insult in order to get the point accross. There are often times that if I feel anger swell up, I take a time out. I will remove myself from the situation and go outside. I'll usually sit on the tailgate of my truck for a while before my wife comes out. We then quietly conversate until the problem is resolved.

It's my belief that Christ has to be the focus in the marriage. If we place our trust in Christ, He will allow the married couple to experience real love. I also believe that marriage is not 50/50. It's 100/100. You give all, and your spouse gives all.

It seems odd to family members and friends that my wife and I are doing so well. My parents divorced when I was two. My dad has been in the picture for a total of about four years in my 29 years of existence. I haven't spoken to him since 1997. No anger on my part. Just wonder. My wife's parents filed divorce literally the day after my wife and I got married. Their excuse was to stay married until after our wedding day. My father-in-law is a believer (although his faith is weakened). He is still single to this day and wonders what went wrong. My mother-in-law has a live-in boyfriend and all of that. So in a sense, my wife and I have examples on how to fail. But with Christ I hope that our bond will never disolve.

My prayer to anyone who is going through a divorce is to cling to Christ. Rejection is a human trait, a trait that is not even in our Heavenly Father's vocabulary. To those who are hitting hard times, my prayer is to again cling to Christ. He is the glue that bonds your marriage together.

Now that I've said this, I'll go on and read the rest of this thread and hope I didn't step on anyone's toes.

dermasse · 05-02-2008, 12:21 PM

If husband and wife are believers and seeking the Lord, there is nothing that cannot be worked out.

Boanerges · 05-02-2008, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by el Pollo

A very grieving topic, divorce is.

Now that my Yoda impersonation is done, I'd like to chime in on this sad yet real issue

I can almost see the little green guy sayhing that!

Dusty · 05-02-2008, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paradox

You did come across strong, but I think it's awesome to be passionate about stuff. I have been in an emotionally abusive relationship, but nothing more. I say emotionally in the sense that I was manipulated to the point of being made the guilty person for everything. And I truely feel guilty for everything. But I don't think that's a good enough reason for me to get a divorce. Even though it still hurts.

I have been the victim of both physical and sexual abuse as a child. And I don't think that ANYONE should ever have to endure that. That's why I wonder why the Bible mentions nothing about that as a reason to get a divorce. The Bible just seems silent on some issues.

First of all I know what divorce can do to families and I certainly did not want that in my life but sometimes there are instances where there are no other ways.. I f it can be resolved between husband and wife by all means please get help and prayer so that the two can stay together. I do not want to see any one divorce. It is satans way of getting into homes and bringing downfall.

Yes Paradox.... emotions run a lot deeper and sometimes are more hurting that the physical abuse.Hurtful words can remain in the mind and crop up so they are very hurtful. I am still after 10 yrs dealing with the emotional trauma but I can tell you little by little as I place each thought and flashback that comes to my mind into the hands of Jesus , I am rest assured that He is able to wash away all the guilt that I have and put it into the sea of forgetfulness. What an awesome God we serve.

I could have been a statistic on medication and even to the point of being in an instititution but for the comfort that I received from Christ. It is not an easy road but I know that all things work together for good and that Christ and the Holy Spirit lead and guide and , I don't have to be fearful any more.

I have put my complete trust in the Lord Jesus Christ... waiting upon Him for answers and know that He alone is my sourse. He is first in my life.

The main thing is , I have forgiven my abuser and I have forgiven myself and that is where the rubber meets the road when you can forgive yourself.

Boanerges · 05-02-2008, 02:04 PM

I see Jesus in your heart Mom!

Dusty · 05-02-2008, 02:41 PM

That is my purpose in life to help some one else so that he or she may see the fullnes of the Saviour's love and embrace His mercy and His grace.

Paradox · 05-03-2008, 12:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boanerges

I see Jesus in your heart Mom!

Is she actually your mom? Just curious!

05-02-2008, 12:21 PM	#23 (permalink)
dermasse Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Midwest Posts: 33 Rep Power: 0	If husband and wife are believers and seeking the Lord, there is nothing that cannot be worked out. __________________ Credo Ut Intelligam

05-02-2008, 02:04 PM	#26 (permalink)
Boanerges Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: St Rose LA Posts: 14,751 Blog Entries: 3 Rep Power: 16	I see Jesus in your heart Mom! __________________ Love, in the final analysis, is wisdom. --E.W. Kenyon

05-02-2008, 02:41 PM	#27 (permalink)
Dusty Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Toronto Posts: 5,595 Rep Power: 6	That is my purpose in life to help some one else so that he or she may see the fullnes of the Saviour's love and embrace His mercy and His grace. __________________ You are the salt and light of the world.

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05-02-2008, 01:56 AM	#21 (permalink)
Paradox Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Canada Posts: 39 Rep Power: 0	You did come across strong, but I think it's awesome to be passionate about stuff. I have been in an emotionally abusive relationship, but nothing more. I say emotionally in the sense that I was manipulated to the point of being made the guilty person for everything. And I truely feel guilty for everything. But I don't think that's a good enough reason for me to get a divorce. Even though it still hurts. I have been the victim of both physical and sexual abuse as a child. And I don't think that ANYONE should ever have to endure that. That's why I wonder why the Bible mentions nothing about that as a reason to get a divorce. The Bible just seems silent on some issues.

05-02-2008, 01:59 AM	#22 (permalink)
el Pollo Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Louisburg, NC Posts: 59 Rep Power: 1	A very grieving topic, divorce is. Now that my Yoda impersonation is done, I'd like to chime in on this sad yet real issue. I have been married six years. And when it comes down to it, I would not for one moment let regret creep into my mind. It's not that I feel that God has rendered marriage sacred, it's because I believe God has rendered it sacred. But do problems arise? They sure do. When my wife and I start to argue, we follow a strict guideline of sticking to the point. That was if our kids ever witness our arguments, they see that people don't always agree, and don't need to insult in order to get the point accross. There are often times that if I feel anger swell up, I take a time out. I will remove myself from the situation and go outside. I'll usually sit on the tailgate of my truck for a while before my wife comes out. We then quietly conversate until the problem is resolved. It's my belief that Christ has to be the focus in the marriage. If we place our trust in Christ, He will allow the married couple to experience real love. I also believe that marriage is not 50/50. It's 100/100. You give all, and your spouse gives all. It seems odd to family members and friends that my wife and I are doing so well. My parents divorced when I was two. My dad has been in the picture for a total of about four years in my 29 years of existence. I haven't spoken to him since 1997. No anger on my part. Just wonder. My wife's parents filed divorce literally the day after my wife and I got married. Their excuse was to stay married until after our wedding day. My father-in-law is a believer (although his faith is weakened). He is still single to this day and wonders what went wrong. My mother-in-law has a live-in boyfriend and all of that. So in a sense, my wife and I have examples on how to fail. But with Christ I hope that our bond will never disolve. My prayer to anyone who is going through a divorce is to cling to Christ. Rejection is a human trait, a trait that is not even in our Heavenly Father's vocabulary. To those who are hitting hard times, my prayer is to again cling to Christ. He is the glue that bonds your marriage together. Now that I've said this, I'll go on and read the rest of this thread and hope I didn't step on anyone's toes.