Forrest Gump goes to heaven

AmericanAngel · 10-06-2007, 11:54 PM

The day finally arrived
Forrest Gump dies and goes to heaven.
He is at the pearly gates, met by St. Peter himself.
However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approches the gatekeeper.

St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you.
We have heard alot about you."
"I must tell you though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administring an entrance examination for everyone.
The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It sure is good to be here, St.Peter, Sir.
But nobody ever told me about an entrance exam.
I sure hope the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was."

St. Peter continued,"Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only 3 questions."
First: "What two days of the week begin with the letter "T"? "
Second: "How many seconds are there in a year?" and
Third: " What is God's name?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest replied, "Well, the first one-- which two days of the week begin with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow."

The saint's eyes opened wide, and he exclaimed,"Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer.""How about the next one?", asked St. Peter.

"How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder, replied Forrest, but, I thunk and I thunk about that, and I guess the only answer could be Twelve."

Astonished, St. Peter said, "Twelve?" Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forrest replied, " Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd..."

"Hold it." interrupts St. Peter."I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, thought that was not quite what I had in mind...but, I will give you credit for that one too. Let's go on to the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name?"

"Sure. Forrest replied. It's Andy."

"Andy!? exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. Ok, I understand how you came up with your answers to the first two, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest of them all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song:"
"ANDY WALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
ANDY HE TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN..."

St. Peter opened the pearly gates and said, "Run, Forrest, Run!"

Give me a sence of humor, Lord. Give me the ability to understand a clean joke,and to get some humor out of life.