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| Humor Jokes and Humor. |
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#531 | ||
![]() Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Toronto
Posts: 10,073
Rep Power: 12 ![]() |
"Name that boat"
A man wanted a boat more than anything. His wife kept saying that they could not afford one, but he bought one anyway. "I'll tell you what," he told her. "In the spirit of compromise, why don't you name the boat?" Being a good sport, she accepted. When the man went to the dock for the maiden voyage, this is the name he saw painted on the side: "For Sale."
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Trials prove a Christian Love confirms a Christian But death crowns a Christian |
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#532 | ||
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Senior Member
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Two eggs, a sausage, and a pancake walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast."
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Be transparent before God, He sees right thru you, anyway! http://www.likepreciousfaith.org/testimony_val.htm Please pray for your local emergency responders, daily. |
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#533 | ||
![]() Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Toronto
Posts: 10,073
Rep Power: 12 ![]() |
"You have lost something"
A wife called her husband as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and the husband could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said, "I know I had my cell phone with me. And now I can't find it!" The husband replied, "Aren't you talking on it!?" There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality of the situation sank in - followed by, "You are NOT going to tell anybody about this!"
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Trials prove a Christian Love confirms a Christian But death crowns a Christian |
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#534 | ||
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Wow- is that like looking for the sunglasses you have on the top of your head?
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Anything that dims my vision for Christ, or takes away my taste for Bible study, or cramps me in my prayer life, or makes Christian work difficult, is wrong for me; and I must, as a Christian turn away from it. – J. Wilbur Chapman |
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#535 | ||
![]() Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Toronto
Posts: 10,073
Rep Power: 12 ![]() |
He he , Almost.
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Trials prove a Christian Love confirms a Christian But death crowns a Christian |
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#537 | ||
![]() Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Toronto
Posts: 10,073
Rep Power: 12 ![]() |
"Change"
A woman called her doctor in a panic. Her son had swallowed a dime and she wanted to know if she should bring the boy in to be seen. "I don't think it's necessary," the doctor calmly replied. "Just watch him closely for any change." ![]()
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Trials prove a Christian Love confirms a Christian But death crowns a Christian |
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#538 | ||
![]() Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Toronto
Posts: 10,073
Rep Power: 12 ![]() |
There is a good reason why women go through menoause in
> their 40's & 50's... > > MY FRIEND GAVE BIRTH AT 65!!!!!!!!! > With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, > a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. > When she was discharged from the hospital and went > home, I went to visit. > 'May I see the new baby?' I asked. > 'Not yet,' She said. 'I'll make coffee > and we can visit > for a while first.' > Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see > the new baby now?' > 'No, not yet,' She said. > After another few minutes had elapsed, I asked again, > 'May I see the baby now?' > 'No, not just yet.' replied my friend. > Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when CAN I > see the baby?' > 'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me, obviously frustrated. > 'WHEN HE CRIES?!! Why do I have to wait until the > poor thing CRIES?' I demanded. > To which she yelled... > 'BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM. O.K
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Trials prove a Christian Love confirms a Christian But death crowns a Christian |
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#539 | ||
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That is to funny!
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Anything that dims my vision for Christ, or takes away my taste for Bible study, or cramps me in my prayer life, or makes Christian work difficult, is wrong for me; and I must, as a Christian turn away from it. – J. Wilbur Chapman |
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#540 | ||
![]() Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Toronto
Posts: 10,073
Rep Power: 12 ![]() |
LIFEAFTER DEATH :
"DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH?" THE BOSS ASKED ONE OF HIS EMPLOYEES. "YES, SIR," THE NEW EMPLOYEE REPLIED. "WELL, THEN, THAT MAKES EVERYTHING JUST FINE," THE BOSS WENT ON. "AFTER YOU LEFT EARLY YESTERDAY TO GO TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL, SHE STOPPED IN TO SEE YOU! PALM SUNDAY : IT WAS PALM SUNDAY AND, BECAUSE OF A SORE THROAT, FIVE-YEAR-OLD JOHNNY STAYED HOME FROM CHURCH WITH A SITTER. WHEN THE FAMILY RETURNED HOME, THEY WERE CARRYING SEVERAL PALM BRANCHES. THE BOY ASKED WHAT THEY WERE FOR. "PEOPLE HELD THEM OVER JESUS' HEAD AS HE WALKED BY." "WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT," THE BOY FUMED, "THE ONE SUNDAY I DON'T GO, HE SHOWS UP!"
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Trials prove a Christian Love confirms a Christian But death crowns a Christian |
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