Dusty's Jokes - Page 41

Boanerges · 05-13-2008, 06:46 PM

MountainWings A MountainWings Moment#7131 Wings Over The Mountains of Life

Why My Lips Stayed Chapped On Mother's Day
=============================

So, we had this great cat named Jack and the kids would carry
him around and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out
and nap all day long on this mat in our bathroom.

Well we have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4
years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli.
Eli really loves chapstick. LOVES it. He kept asking to use my
chapstick and then losing it. So finally one day I showed him
where in the bathroom I keep my chapstick and how he could use
it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in
the drawer when he was done.

Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush
around and try to get ready for Church with everyone crying and
carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the
cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time
I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mess and everyone
has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and
the amazing job that is motherhood.

We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and
I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally
round the corner to go into the bathroom. And there was Eli.

He was applying my chapstick very carefully to Jack's . . .
rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said "chapped."

Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right--their little
butts do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to
mind.

And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it
was the 1st time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the
hundredth.

And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it
reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these
glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when
you realize they've been using your chapstick on the cat's butt.

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Dusty · 05-13-2008, 07:08 PM

Thanks , son that was priceless. Yah, wonder how many times he used that chap stick on the cat's bum ???

Dusty · 05-14-2008, 11:51 AM

"Don't be fooled"

The ad in the local newspaper read: "Purebred Police Dog $25."
Thinking that to be a great bargain, Mrs. Jones ordered the dog to be delivered.
The next day a van pulled up and left her the mangiest-looking mongrel she had ever seen.
In a rage, she telephoned the man who had placed the ad. "What do you mean by calling that mangy-mutt a purebred police dog?"
"Don't be deceived by his looks, Ma'am," he replied. "He works undercover."

Dusty · 05-18-2008, 12:45 PM

"Living the motto"

A scoutmaster and his wife were driving along a rural highway when they found the road blocked by a herd of cows that had escaped through a broken fence.
The scoutmaster tried beeping his horn to scare the cattle from the pavement, but to no avail. For some reason, no sound was heard. He got out of the car, lifted the hood, and saw the problem, a loose wire, which he quickly fixed.
As he got back into the car, his wife asked him if he'd had any luck.
"Yep," he replied, "beep repaired!"

Boanerges · 05-18-2008, 01:32 PM

That actually took a minute to soak in my head this morning!

Dusty · 05-18-2008, 11:25 PM

He he .... It took me a while as well. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

Boanerges · 05-19-2008, 05:22 PM

I was walking past the mental
hospital the other day and all of
the patients were shouting,
13......13....13. The wood fence
was too high to see over, but I
saw a little hole in one of the
planks so l looked through to
see what was going on.
Some nut poked me in the eye
with a stick.
Then they all started shouting
14.....14....14.

Azarias · 05-19-2008, 06:05 PM

I love that.

Dusty · 05-20-2008, 12:34 PM

He he he ..... That was funny my son.

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