A good defence"



A family of skunks was trapped in a thicket, surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves that were edging even closer.
The Mother skunk calmly instructed her young: "Quickly children, let's put our heads together!"
After they obeyed, forming a circle, she continued, "Now-Let us spray!"

"Scratch, scratch"




The couple's young daughter had adopted a stray cat.
To her mother's distress, the cat began to use the back of their new sofa as a scratching post. "Don't worry," her husband reassured her. "I'll have him trained in no time."
They watched for several days as he patiently "trained" their new pet. Whenever the cat scratched, he deposited the cat outdoors to teach him a lesson.
The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa.

"Peace and quiet"



Mary came downstairs to find her neighbour, Holly, sitting at her kitchen table, leisurely drinking a cup of coffee.
"Well, hello there," said Mary. "To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you this morning?"
"I'm not here," Holly said as she poured herself another cup. "I'm playing with the kids in our backyard."
"Oh?" Mary responded with an amused look. "You look like you're here. You'll have to explain this one to me."
"Well, Jimmy, Jeff and Rachel were driving me crazy. So, like a good mother, I took them outside to run off some energy."
"That still doesn't explain how you can be two places at once."
Holly leaned back and propped her feet up on another chair. "We're playing Hide & Seek -- and I'm 'it.'"

"Unusual defence"




A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:
"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."
The defendant smiled.
With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

Doctor Doctor

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace
> a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested the
> young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could
> become used to a new doctor. At the first house a woman
> complained,
>
> "I've been a little sick to my stomach."
>
> The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing
> the fresh fruit. Why don't you cut back on the amount
> you've been eating and see if that does the trick?"
>
> As they left the younger man said, "You didn't even examine
> that woman. How'd you come to your diagnosis so quickly?"
>
> "I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on
> the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I
> noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was
> what was probably making her sick."
>
> "Hmmm," the younger doctor said, "Pretty clever. I think
> I'll try that at the next house."
>
> Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes
> talking with a younger woman. She complained that she just
> didn't have the energy she once did.
>
> "I'm feeling terribly run down lately."
>
> "You've probably been doing too much extra work for the
> church," the younger doctor told her. "Perhaps you should
> cut back a bit and see if that helps."
>
> As they left, the elder doc said, Your diagnosis is almost
> certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it?
>
> "Well, just like you did at the last house, I dropped my
> stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed
> the preacher under the bed."
>
>
>
>
>