"Debt"

A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he won't pay up. What should I do?"
"Do you have any proof he owes you the money?" asked the lawyer.
"Nope," replied the man.
"Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you," said the lawyer.
"But it's only $500," replied the man.
"Precisely. That's what he will reply and then you'll have your proof!"

Planning for the future"



An insurance salesman was trying to persuade a housewife that she should take out life insurance.
"Suppose your husband were to die," he said, "what would you get?"
The housewife thought for a while, and then said, "Oh, a parrot, I think. Then the house wouldn't seem so quiet."

Originally Posted by Dusty Planning for the future" An insurance salesman was trying to persuade a housewife that she should take out life insurance. "Suppose your husband were to die," he said, "what would you get?" The housewife thought for a while, and then said, "Oh, a parrot, I think. Then the house wouldn't seem so quiet."

Originally Posted by Dusty "Debt" A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he won't pay up. What should I do?" "Do you have any proof he owes you the money?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. "Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you," said the lawyer. "But it's only $500," replied the man. "Precisely. That's what he will reply and then you'll have your proof!"

A man walks in a bank

A man walks in a bank, gets in line and when it is his turn he pulls
> >out a gun...and robs the bank.
Just to make sure he leaves no witnesses, He turns around and asks
the
next customer in line, "Did you see me rob this bank?" The customer
> >replies, "Yes!"
The bank robber raises his gun, points it to the customer's head and
> >BANG !!! Shoots him in the head and kills him!
> >
He quickly moves to the next customer in line and says to the man,
Did You see me rob this bank?" The man calmly responds "No, but my wife
did!"

A woman was unable to get any sleep because of her husband's loud snoring.
So she called the doctor one morning. She asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her "suffering."
"Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really rather expensive. It will cost $1000 down, and payments of $450 for 24 months, plus some payments for extras."
"My goodness!" the woman exclaimed, "it sounds like leasing a new luxury car!"
"Humm," the doctor murmured, "too obvious, huh?"

OUr time is coming



Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement
>25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. "That's it," he
>tells his wife, "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has got so bad that
>once I've hit the ball, I can't see where it went."
>His wife sympathizes. As they sit down she says, "Why don't you take my
>brother with you and give it one more try?"
>"That's no good," sighs Arthur. "Your brother is 103! He can't help."
>"He may be 103," says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect!"
>So the next day Arthur heads off to the golf course with his
>brother-in-law.
>He tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway.
>He turns to his brother-in-law and says, "Did you see the ball?"
>"Of course I did!" says the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight!"
>"Where did it go?" says Arthur.
>"I can't remember."

Originally Posted by Dusty A man walks in a bank A man walks in a bank, gets in line and when it is his turn he pulls > >out a gun...and robs the bank. Just to make sure he leaves no witnesses, He turns around and asks the next customer in line, "Did you see me rob this bank?" The customer > >replies, "Yes!" The bank robber raises his gun, points it to the customer's head and > >BANG !!! Shoots him in the head and kills him! > > He quickly moves to the next customer in line and says to the man, Did You see me rob this bank?" The man calmly responds "No, but my wife did!"

"Russian"



The couple was delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them that there was a wonderful Russian baby boy available, and the couple took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.
After they filled out the forms, the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Russian?"
The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Russian baby. In a year or so, when he begins to talk, we want to be able to understand him."