Dusty's Jokes - Page 29

Boanerges · 02-13-2008, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dusty

"Girlfriend trouble"

There was a guy and he had a girlfriend named Lorraine who was very pretty and he liked her a lot.
One day he went to work and found that a new woman had started working there. Her name was Clearly and she was absolutely gorgeous. He became quite besotted with Clearly and after while it became obvious that she was interested in him too.
But this guy was a loyal man and he wouldn't do anything with Clearly while he was still going out with Lorraine. He decided that there was nothing left to do but to break up with Lorraine and get on with Clearly. He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn't bring himself to do it.
Then one day they went for a walk along the river bank when Lorraine slipped and fell into the river. The current carried her off and she drowned.
The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing...
"I can see Clearly now. Lorraine has gone

daperfectmix · 02-14-2008, 02:47 PM

lol! oh my! that's terrible!!!

Dusty · 02-14-2008, 06:07 PM

"Three important words"

At my granddaughter's wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married longest. It turned out to be my husband and I. The DJ asked us, "What advice would you give to the newly-married couple?"
I said, "The three most important words in a marriage are, 'You're probably right.'"
Everyone then looked at my husband. He said, "She's probably right."

Psalm91 · 02-14-2008, 06:22 PM

lol That was good lol

Dusty · 02-15-2008, 01:40 PM

"Did I say that?"

Police in Los Angeles, California had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup.
When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "that's not what I said!"

Boanerges · 02-15-2008, 02:09 PM

The sad part is I believe it!

Psalm91 · 02-15-2008, 06:31 PM

Dusty · 02-16-2008, 02:34 PM

"Nervous witness"

An uncertain and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered, "Have you ever been married?" "Yes, sir," said the witness in a low voice. "Once."
"Whom did you marry?"
"Well, a woman."
The lawyer bellowed angrily, "Of course you married a woman. Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man?"
To which the witness replied meekly, "My sister did."

Psalm91 · 02-16-2008, 05:43 PM

Dusty · 02-17-2008, 03:21 PM

"Funeral"

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"
"98," she replied. "Two years older than me".
"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?

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