Dusty's Jokes - Page 13

Boanerges · 10-29-2007, 05:43 PM

That's great- smart little whippersnapper!

adoptivemommy · 10-30-2007, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dusty

The outgoing message:

'Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

* To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
* To make excuses for why your child did not do his work- Press 2
* To complain about what we do - Press 3
* To swear at staff members - Press 4
* To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5
* If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
* If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone -Press 7
* To request another teacher, for the third time this year -Press 8
* To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
* To complain about school lunches - Press 0
* If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!

*IF you want this in Spanish, you ARE in the wrong country.'

This whole thing cracked me up, but the last phrase has me rolling! I think we should do that more often in this country! I'm not exactly sure why here people can demand that Americans speak their language. If you go anywhere in Europe where English is not the first language, you're out of luck! You have to learn their language, especially in France! This cracks me up!

Laura

Dusty · 10-31-2007, 03:14 AM

YUP.... We have the same problem sis. When I was nursing the pts who spoke their own languages didn't make much of an attenpt to try to speak English.... very frustrating.

Dusty · 10-31-2007, 03:17 AM

Coffee For Six

blonde was recently hired at an office. Her first task was to go out for coffee. Eager to do well her first day on the job, she grabbed a large thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop.

She held up the thermos and the coffee shop worker quickly came over to take her order. She asked, "Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?"

The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, "Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me."

"Oh good!" the blonde sighed in relief. "Then give me two regular, two black, and two decaf."

Boanerges · 10-31-2007, 03:30 AM

Aaaawwwweee Gggeeeeezz-:d

Dusty · 11-01-2007, 12:05 AM

You know you been on the Internet too long when...

Someone ask what's your web address and you answer 204.71.200.75

You write in your email address as your new home address in the Post Office Change of address form.

You require a separate hard drive for all your bookmarks.

You can't remember your phone number and give out your email address to dates.

You were a member of GEine, Compuserve, Delphi, and AOL before the web even existed.

You send email using ROT 13

You upgrade the local cybercafe web browser on your own time.

You have a copy of the original "Get Rick Quick" email from 1993 still in your inbox, unread.

You select an apartment based on the location to the nearest Major Hub.

You plan your vacations to Silicon Valley.

Dusty · 11-01-2007, 12:32 AM

The Phone

young man wanted to get his beautiful wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone.

The next day the wifey goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband, "Hi hun," he says "how do you like your new phone?"

She replies "I just love it, it's so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there's one thing I don't understand though."

"What's that, baby?" asks the husband.

"How'd you know I was at Wal-Mart?"

Dusty · 11-01-2007, 01:32 PM

"Moving offices"

The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items.
I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat. I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my doctor's office."
The other driver leaned out of his window. "I hate to tell you, lady," he said, "but I think it's too late!"

Boanerges · 11-01-2007, 03:19 PM

"You require a separate hard drive for all your bookmarks. "

I am guilty as charged Dusty!

Dusty · 11-02-2007, 12:48 AM

What are you guilty of.?

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