Dusty

"Kiss goodbye"

"Dad," a teenaged girl says, running into her father's den, "I'd like to kiss you good-bye before I go to school!"
"You're too late, honey. Your mother just did that two minutes ago, and I don't have any cash left on me."

__________________

Trials prove a Christian

Love confirms a Christian

But death crowns a Christian

Dusty

Literature class"

On his first day of classes at a university, a student took a front row seat in a literature course.
The professor told them they would be responsible for reading five books, and that he would provide them with a list of authors from which they could choose.
Then the professor ambled over to the lecture took out his class notes and began ... "Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook ... "
The student was working feverishly to get down all the names, when he felt a tap on his shoulder.
The student in back of him whispered, "He's taking attendance."

__________________

Trials prove a Christian

Love confirms a Christian

But death crowns a Christian

violet

Dusty

"Legal eyesight"

The old man was a witness in a burglary trial.
The defense lawyer asks Sam, "Did you see my client commit this burglary?"
"Yes," said Sam , "I saw him plainly take the goods."
The lawyer asks Sam again, "Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?"
"Yes" says Sam, "I saw him do it."
Then the lawyer asks Sam, "Sam listen, you are 80 years old and your eyesight probably is bad. Just how far can you see at night?"
Sam says, "I can see the moon, how far is that?"

__________________

Trials prove a Christian

Love confirms a Christian

But death crowns a Christian

Dusty

The outgoing message:

'Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

* To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
* To make excuses for why your child did not do his work- Press 2
* To complain about what we do - Press 3
* To swear at staff members - Press 4
* To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5
* If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
* If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone -Press 7
* To request another teacher, for the third time this year -Press 8
* To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
* To complain about school lunches - Press 0
* If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!

*IF you want this in Spanish, you ARE in the wrong country.'

__________________

Trials prove a Christian

Love confirms a Christian

But death crowns a Christian

Dusty

"Less calories"

A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store with him. In addition to the healthful items on the carefully prepared shopping list, they returned with a box of sugar-laden cookies.
The man noticed the glare of his wife and said, "This box of cookies has one-third fewer calories than usual."
"Why is that?" the mother asked.
"We ate a third of the cookies on the way home," he replied.

__________________

Trials prove a Christian

Love confirms a Christian

But death crowns a Christian

violet

Boanerges

violet

Dusty

"Learning colours"

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colours yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what colour it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door and said, "Grandpa, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

__________________

Trials prove a Christian

Love confirms a Christian

But death crowns a Christian