freedom07

TOP 8 MORONS OF 2006

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

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2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up"
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3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
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4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
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5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said!".
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6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

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7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunatel! y, he fa iled to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!
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8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.

NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

GsusFrk

those were good

BelieverIndeed20

Some people....I just don't know...

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Matthew 5:16 In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

My Rock and my Salvation is you O Lord. He is the Lord of the dance.

Pastor Gary

A man from the back woods hill country, who only came in to town when absolutely necessary, stopped at the local hardware store. He looked over some hammers and hand tools, but was fascinated by the chain saws. The clerk told him that he could cut a full cord of wood per day instead of a quarter cord with his hand saw. The man bought one and took it back to his place in the forest.

The next day, the man drove back to town with his new chain saw and complained to the clerk that he was still only able to cut a quarter cord of wood per day. The clerk was puzzled. He added some gas and oil and started up the saw... the man was startled, jumped back and said, "What is that noise?"

violet

HisGrace

Now those were funny - I needed a good laugh!

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Servant to only ONE Master... Our Lord Jesus Christ!! >------Ü------<