Headstones

Dusty · 05-06-2008, 01:41 PM

Headstones"

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903-Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
It was.

In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up And no place to go.

In a London, England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna.
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon me For not rising.

In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.

A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.

John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
Reader, if cash thou art
In want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep;
And thou wilt find a Penny.

In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June,
Jonathan Fiddle Went out of tune.

On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God.

In a cemetery in England:
Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, you soon will be.
Prepare yourself and follow me.
To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you I'll not consent
Until I know which way you went

From Boot Hill, in Tombstone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore
One slug from a 44
No Les
No More

Boanerges · 05-06-2008, 01:55 PM

Those are great Mom! I especially like these 2:
On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God.

In a cemetery in England:
Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, you soon will be.
Prepare yourself and follow me.
To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you I'll not consent
Until I know which way you went

Psalm91 · 05-06-2008, 11:14 PM

lol....

NearertoGod · 05-07-2008, 05:02 AM

I really like the honest lawyer one!

05-06-2008, 01:41 PM	#1 (permalink)
Dusty Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Toronto Posts: 6,530 Rep Power: 7	Headstones Headstones" Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903-Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to go. In a London, England cemetery: Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid But died an old Mann. In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread, And the Lord sent them manna. Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna. In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery: Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon me For not rising. In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake. In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery: Here lays The Kid. We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger But slow on the draw. A lawyer's epitaph in England: Sir John Strange. Here lies an honest lawyer, And that is Strange. John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery: Reader, if cash thou art In want of any, Dig 6 feet deep; And thou wilt find a Penny. In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England: On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle Went out of tune. On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts: Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod. Pease shelled out and went to God. In a cemetery in England: Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, you soon will be. Prepare yourself and follow me. To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone: To follow you I'll not consent Until I know which way you went From Boot Hill, in Tombstone, Arizona: Here lies Lester Moore One slug from a 44 No Les No More __________________ Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. -- John Wooden Joke Police.. Mark and Amandaz

05-06-2008, 01:55 PM	#2 (permalink)
Boanerges Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: St Rose LA Posts: 16,835 Blog Entries: 3 Rep Power: 18	Those are great Mom! I especially like these 2: On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts: Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there's only the pod. Pease shelled out and went to God. In a cemetery in England: Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, you soon will be. Prepare yourself and follow me. To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone: To follow you I'll not consent Until I know which way you went __________________ Because the Lord Jesus died on the Cross, I have received forgiveness of sins; because the Lord Jesus rose from the dead, I have received new life; because the Lord Jesus has been exalted to the right hand of the Father, I have received the outpoured Spirit. All is because of Him; nothing is because of me." Watchman Nee

05-06-2008, 11:14 PM	#3 (permalink)
Psalm91 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Maryland Posts: 290 Rep Power: 1	lol.... __________________ A day without giving is a day without love.....

05-07-2008, 05:02 AM	#4 (permalink)
NearertoGod Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: The O.C. Posts: 1,793 Blog Entries: 9 Rep Power: 2	I really like the honest lawyer one! __________________ **IN LOVING MEMORY** Happy - Born - ?/?/1999 - Happily crossed back home to God - June 25th/26th, 2008 You will never be forgotten Rest In Peace, Happy. You were more than just a dog, a pet, you were a best friend. I LOVE YOU

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