Amazing Simple Home Remedies

Who am I · 05-01-2008, 10:41 PM

AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLESBY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLESWHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACEWHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

Be advised, these are not real. It’s only a joke. Do not try this at home.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Exept for number 7. That works every time.

Boanerges · 05-01-2008, 10:42 PM

Those are great!

Dusty · 05-02-2008, 02:35 PM

Whirlwind · 05-02-2008, 03:57 PM

Cute, Dean! Cute!

I'm gonna print those out and hang them up at work.

My favorite one was the have-someone-else-hold-the-veggies tip. I think I'll use that one - darned near cut off the tip of my finger once while quick-chopping some cabbage.

Boanerges · 05-02-2008, 04:02 PM

Here is a multipurpose remedy that will solve many problems not only at home but many other places too!
1. Get duct tape
2. Tear off a piece about 6 inches long
3. Cover mouth

05-01-2008, 10:41 PM	#1 (permalink)
Who am I Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Minnesota Posts: 1,275 Blog Entries: 1 Rep Power: 2	Amazing Simple Home Remedies AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES 1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF. 2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLESBY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLESWHILE YOU CHOP. 3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK. 4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER. 5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON. 6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH. 7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE. 8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM. 9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM. DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACEWHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS. Be advised, these are not real. It’s only a joke. Do not try this at home. Thank you for your cooperation. Exept for number 7. That works every time. __________________ Blessings to all Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

05-01-2008, 10:42 PM	#2 (permalink)
Boanerges Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: St Rose LA Posts: 16,837 Blog Entries: 3 Rep Power: 18	Those are great! __________________ Because the Lord Jesus died on the Cross, I have received forgiveness of sins; because the Lord Jesus rose from the dead, I have received new life; because the Lord Jesus has been exalted to the right hand of the Father, I have received the outpoured Spirit. All is because of Him; nothing is because of me." Watchman Nee

05-02-2008, 02:35 PM	#3 (permalink)
Dusty Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Toronto Posts: 6,541 Rep Power: 7	__________________ Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. -- John Wooden Joke Police.. Mark and Amandaz

05-02-2008, 03:57 PM	#4 (permalink)
Whirlwind Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Central Oregon Posts: 2,964 Rep Power: 3	Cute, Dean! Cute! I'm gonna print those out and hang them up at work. My favorite one was the have-someone-else-hold-the-veggies tip. I think I'll use that one - darned near cut off the tip of my finger once while quick-chopping some cabbage. __________________ Chapter-by-Chapter, verse-by-verse. Jesus is the Living Word.

05-02-2008, 04:02 PM	#5 (permalink)
Boanerges Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: St Rose LA Posts: 16,837 Blog Entries: 3 Rep Power: 18	Here is a multipurpose remedy that will solve many problems not only at home but many other places too! 1. Get duct tape 2. Tear off a piece about 6 inches long 3. Cover mouth __________________ Because the Lord Jesus died on the Cross, I have received forgiveness of sins; because the Lord Jesus rose from the dead, I have received new life; because the Lord Jesus has been exalted to the right hand of the Father, I have received the outpoured Spirit. All is because of Him; nothing is because of me." Watchman Nee

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